Skipping Time
by BunnyButton
Summary: Dark AU. Slow build Spock/Kirk.
1. Prologue

This my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Prologue:

James Tiberius Kirk Captain of the star ship _Enterprise_ sat quietly, one hand clenched one the armrest, as the Borg cube moved closer on the view screen. The bridge was in chaos the klaxon sounding as sparks sizzled from under screens and control panels.

"There're firing again, Captain," Sulu called as he braced himself against the blast. The lights flickered as the Borg laser hit the shields.

"Shields reading thirty percent, Captain," Spock said, his voice cool and calm as he held himself from falling with one hand as the ship rocked. "If the pattern holds they will be hailing us after this next volley."

"That would be great," Kirk growled, his fierce blue eyes fixed on the Borg cube as it glided toward the crippled _Enterprise_. "I would love a little chat."

The Captain's next words were cut off as a fresh wave of laser fire shook the ship.

"Captain, we've got a power drain registering off the main power grid," Scotty called wildly from his station. "I need to get a team on it now or we'll lose all power to the shields in a few minutes."

"Keep to your station Mr. Scott," Kirk snapped, "I need you where you are. The ship will hold for a bit longer."

"They are hailing us now, Captain," Uhura called over the red alarm. "Should I put them through to the screen?"

"Sure," Kirk said, nonchalantly leaning back in his chair. His eyes, still fixed on the screen as the Borg cube drew closer, were bright with either genius or insanity, "Might as well, I haven't got anything better to do today."

"On the main screen then, Sir," Uhura said as she turned to face her station so she wouldn't have to look at the Borg. A long pale scar cut across her mouth, along her jaw to her ear where it turned and ran down her neck to disappear under her uniform. She had seen more than enough of the Borg.

A pale bloodless face covered in cybernetic implants appeared on the screen. The Borg was probably male, but Kirk couldn't be sure until it started talking, as most of the being's face was metal and wires.

"We are the Borg," the defiantly male spokes Borg announced.

"We know," Kirk said his voice bored.

"You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

"So we've heard," Kirk said tapping his armrest in a offhand way, "I think we both know that resistance is the only worthwhile thing we can do now."

"We are the Borg," the spokes Borg said completely ignoring Kirk, "Lower your shields and surrender your ship. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile."*

"Shut that son of a bitch off." Kirk snapped still glaring at the main screen.

Uhura switched the Com link off with a small almost vindictive smile.

"I don't think we have much choice, Captain." Scotty said, his voice was low and urgent, "the drain in the main grid will lower our shields to below critical levels in less then four minutes."

"Stand by on the main phaser-banks. And hold our current position Mr. Sulu." Kirk said still glaring at the main screen.

"Yes, sir," Sulu said glancing quickly at the navigation station. Chehov was pale and he hadn't responded to the order, but his hands were steady over the phaser controls and his eyes were ice cold and hard.

"Captain, we do not have the power or the stability to form a sufficient defense nor do we have the resources to form an attack," Spock said walking over to stand behind the captain's chair. "I believe we are 'sitting fowl'."

"Ducks, Spock, we're sitting ducks,' Kirk said finally tearing his eyes from the screen to give Spock a quick smile.

"Indeed Captain," Spock raised one eyebrow. The half-Vulcan leaned so that his mouth was close to Jim's ear and quietly, almost carelessly, asked, "Then you would not be interested in the rather fascinating program the _Enterprise_ computer is currently running and projecting to the Borg?"

"You found that little old thing," Kirk said flashing a quick grin before slowly standing, biting back a hiss of pain as battle wounds both new and old made themselves felt. It had been to long since he had seen a dermal regenerator, let alone used one. And in less they did something drastic, it would be a long time before he, or anyone not on the brink of bleeding to death, did.

"I believe you are plotting something Captain," Spock said more loudly as he walked back to his station. His tone was lighter than normal, and certainly lighter than the situation warranted, though only Jim was likely to notice the minuscule change. Spock hated to see his best friend in so much pain, but there was nothing he could do and he knew that his Captain would not want to seem weak in front of the crew, so many of whom had been injured or killed in the endless war.

"Who? Little old me?" Kirk smirked, but his eyes were narrow with pain. "What could I possible be up to?"

Scotty and Uhura exchanged a quick skeptical glance and both Chehov and Sulu snickered. Even a few of the ensigns smiled half-heartedly before all attention turned back to the Borg cube that was slowly creeping closer.

Spock tore his eyes from Jim's smirk to check the scanners, "Our power is below minimum safety levels, decks four through twelve are experiencing rolling black outs in order to preserve power levels to the shields."

"I need to fix that power drain, Captain, or we're gonna lose the shields altogether," Scotty said turning to the Captain and almost pleading, "There is only so much I can do from here."

"Trust me Scotty," Kirk said walking over to him and resting one hand on the older man's shoulder, "I need you doing what you can from here."

"Aye, Captain," Scotty said, before turning and all but pleading with the engineering station. The engines whined as they were asked to give a little more, just a little more that they didn't have.

"Good man," Kirk glanced at the panels and nodding slightly walked back to his chair, "I know you can hold it together for a little longer."

"Captain?" one of the ensigns the asked nervously. "I'm getting an abnormal reading on the scanner, Sir."

"Abnormal how?" Kirk asked turning to look at the ensign, who twitched under the captain's intense gaze.

"It was a fast moving object, about the size of a ship, that was on a collision course with the Borg cube," the ensign fidgeted with the edge of his shirt, "but it's gone, Sir, vanished. I keep getting flashes of something on the same path, but not the same size and not moving at the same speed. The flashes are something much smaller, Captain. And what ever it is, it's slowing down."

"Good, good," Kirk said turning back to the main screen. "Just ignore that for now ensign." The crazy glint was still in his eyes, but it had changed. It seemed less desperate, almost sad, but just as hard as it had been before.

"Yes, sir."

"They're firing again, Captain." Sulu called, "I think they might have given up on taking us alive."

"Let them try," Kirk grinned.

The ship shook, but the Captain just stood grinning, wild eyes fixed on the Borg cube again.

"They're charging their tractor beam and main laser, Captain." Sulu called his hands flying over the controls, trying to prepare something, anything to at lest try and out maneuver the tractor beam before it sucked them in and ripped them to bits.

There was a small shudder as the edge of the tractor beam clutch at the _Enterprise_'s shield before Sulu, his hands flying over the controls, pulled them away, but not far enough. There wasn't enough power to move them very far. There was never enough power. Sulu barely got them away from the beam when he had to stop, but the tractor beam hadn't followed them. It hadn't moved at all. Then suddenly the beam stopped.

The main view screen sparked and flickered as all eyes shifted from the Captain to the Borg cube. It was standing still, not moving, not firing, not breaking their shields, not slicing the ship to ribbons, and not assimilating them. For a long, horribly long, few seconds the cube did nothing. Then slowly, almost too slowly to see, the cube began to list to one side. Shifting till it was obviously drifting without control or direction.

Suddenly the lights flickered and the main screen sparked. The klaxon cut off suddenly leaving a deafening silence echoing around the bridge.

"Captain?" Spock asked turning to where Kirk was still standing glaring at the main screen, "I am most interested in what has just occurred."

"In a minute Spock. Reports?" Kirk asked idly still watching the Borg cube as it drifted lazily through space.

Scotty turned to Kirk, "The power drain is gone Captain." He sounded astonished, "I don't know what happened, one second we're losing power like blood from a blast to the heart the next we're fine, dandy, minimum loss over the last hour, like the drain was never there at all, Captain."

"Captain," Chehov called, finally relaxing his controls over the main phaser-banks, "There's a Romulan warbird de-cloaking on our starboard side." Chehov shot a sidelong glance at Sulu and smiled, "It's the T'Met, sir!"

"They're hailing us, Captain," Uhura said grinning, the scar pulled the right corner of her mouth down, but the smile was bright and happy.

"Put them on screen, Lieutenant," Kirk said sitting back in the big chair with only a small wince.

"Frequencies open, Sir."

"Hey there, Admiral," Kirk said, grinning as Christopher Pike's face appeared on main view screen, "Good of you to join us."

"Nice to see you too, kid." Pike said, grinning.

"How'd it go on your end?" Jim asked lightly, leaning back in his chair, and smirking.

"Fine and dandy so far," Pike said glancing at his first officer, "We still have three members of the away team that haven't reported back yet. Will give then five more minutes."

Jim leaned forward, ignoring the usual stab of pain the action caused.

"Who?" Jim demanded, his voice automatically taking on the ring of command, "They were only going to plant the toxin in the regeneration alcove system. Get in, plant the toxin, and get out. Not hard, and no need to stick around."

Jim was ranting, and Pike let him stop for breath before answering, "Andorian warriors, Jim. If there was a fight they weren't going to come back until either the Borg were dead or they were. They made that damn clear when they signed up for the mission. Five more minutes and we'll scan the cube for life signs. If they are still alive we'll bring them home."

"You shouldn't have let them go!" Jim shouted banging him fist against the arm of his chair. "The odds of a fight were…"

"I KNOW!" Pike yelled, cutting Jim off before he could start ranting again, "I know they would fight. I didn't have much choice, Jim. They were the only ones that would do it. You remember Thy'lek Shran?"**

Jim frowned, "The former Imperial Guard commander? Yeah, I know him."

"Knew," Pike corrected, "He's dead. Died taking down an assimilation camp on Tellar Prime."

"Damn," Jim sighed falling back so he was sprawled half in and half out of his chair. "Andorians dying to save Tellarites from the Borg."

"The universe has gone crazy," Pike agreed and there were murmurs on of assent from the crew of both ships.

Jim sighed again and rubbing his face with one hand before combing his fingers though his hair, "How many did Shran save?"

"Fourteen Tellarites, six Vulcans, and two Betazoids," Pike said listing off the numbers before standing and grinning, "and two ton's of Dilithium as well as a half-ton each of Warp Grade matter and antimatter."

Jim glanced over at Scotty. The older man was all but crying with joy.

"And how much," Jim asked, "Of that lovely, beautiful, delicious Dilithium is for my lady _Enterprise_?"

"You'll get a far share and new passengers," Pike said laughing, "I'll send a team over to help repair your engines. Pike Out."

The screen flickered as Pike's face disappeared and the T'Met reappeared with the Borg cube drifting aimlessly off into the black.

"Spock?" Jim asked quietly, not turning to look at his first officer and best friend, "Without Thy'lek Shran and the three Andorians on that cube, how many Andorians are there?"

The bridge was quite as everyone listened.

"With those four dead, and the fourteen that Thy'lek Shran saved alive, there are four hundred and thirty-three living Andorians, Captain." Spock said as he watched the Borg cube drift slowly away. "And five hundred billion Borg."

* * *

* The Borg said that in _Star Trek: First Contact_

** Thy'lek Shran is from _Star Trek: Enterprise_, which I have not seen yet. I just liked the name


	2. Chapter 1

This my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.

lamiabeauty, thank you for the kind words.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 1:

_The bridge was quite as everyone listened._

_ "With those four dead, there are four hundred and thirty-three living Andorians, Captain." Spock said as he watched the Borg cube drift slowly away. "And five hundred billion Borg."_

The bridge was quite, a different than the quite of anticipation of bad news; the same quite that always came after the latest count down had been announced. The quiet of pain too deeply felt to have a voice.

Jim let the silence stretch. He knew his crew needed time to adjust to the news that one more species had lost lives and was one step closer to extinction. He couldn't tear his eyes away form the drifting Borg Cube. It looked exactly like the first he had ever seen.

The Borg had attacked suddenly and unexpectedly. They had used the Neutral Zone as a shield. The collective had hidden behind the borders as they destroyed, or as they said 'assimilated', everything they could. By the time the Federation had even known that they were in danger both the Romulan and the Cardassian empires had fallen. And in their place were Borg, freshly assimilated and ready for war. No, ready for expansion, for assimilation.

The Enterprise had been called to the borders to investigate radio silence from the outposts there. Jim had thought one of the Romulan's new commanders had been getting cocky and started interrupting comm. signals. It wasn't the first time; in fact there had been incidents ever few months since the Nero incident. Tensions between the Romulans and the Federation were building to the knife-edge of war. And there was war, just not the one they had expected.

"I believe now would be a good time for an explanation, Captain." Spock's low voice broke the silence.

"You are very right Mr. Spock," he said as he tore his eyes from the cube and turned to his first officer. Jim saw the others' eyes flick to Spock too, before they went back to their stations.

"I believe you have a theory, Mr. Spock?"

"Do indeed, Captain," Spock's voice was still low, balanced just at the edge of hearing even half way across the bridge, as if the conversation was just between the two of them. He stood up strait, hands clasped behind his back.

"Do tell, Commander." Jim grinned; everyone was certainly paying attention now. It would do them good to get their minds off the Borg for a bit.

"I detected the main computer running a program on all stations and projecting that program to the Borg Cube." Spock's eyes lock with his.

Jim felt his stomach flip as his First Officer's chocolate eyes' stared into his own blue, "And why then, Mr. Spock, didn't you stop this program? It might have been dangerous."

"I had considered it, Captain," Spock said, his eyes still boring into Jim's, "however when I examined the program more closely I found it to be familiar, Sir."

"Oh, indeed?" Jim asked, trying to make his voice light and innocent, but failing to hold in a laugh.

"Yes, Sir." Spock's lips twitched, almost smiled at the bright schoolboy grin that spread across the Captain's face, "It was the _Kobayashi Maru_, Captain."

There were snickers and a few giggles. Jim noticed Chekov half leaning on Sulu and giggling.

"More specifically it was an adaption to the _Kobayashi Maru_ that you implemented during your final attempt at the simulator," Spock murmured softly, "It was the same program, highly modified, and much more sophisticated, but still the same base program. You must have spent a great deal of time working on it, Captain."

"Well, I didn't have anything better to do," Jim said as he waved off amazed looks from the crew. "And it will only work that one time," He said turning back to the drifting Cube. "And it wouldn't have worked if Pike had been any farther away."

"It was most convenient," Spock agreed.

"Indeed," Jim said grinning, "Kirk luck strikes again!"

"That does seem to be the case, Captain," Spock's dry tone had both Uhura and Chehov giggle.

"All right, that's enough play time boys and girls," Jim said, cutting off the laughter before it could turn darker. He knew Chehov was as likely to laugh as cry after a battle and Jim needed him and the rest of the crew to be strong for a little longer. Just long enough to get out of scanner range for when the Borg reinforcements showed up and hopeful long enough to get to a halfway safe place for repairs.

"It has been a long ass day and we are all tired," Jim said his voice taking up a bit of his Command tone. "I definitely am. But we still have things to do, places to go. Borg to escape from. The Borg will be sending back-up and they'll get here sooner or later. And we have to be far from here when it do."

"Mr. Chehov, Mr. Sulu why don't you ask the lovely T'Met if she wants to dance. Miss Uhura, kindly do what you do. I'm going down to engineering," Kirk said, biting back a hiss of pain as he stood, and waved one hand over the bridge. "You have the Con. Mr. Spock. Scotty, you're with me."

The crew responded with a chorus of "Yes, Sir".

The bridge was buzzing with the standard post battle activities, as Scotty followed him to the turbolift. Nether man mentioned the slight rolling limp the engineer used to keep his weight off his injured leg or the way the captain kept shifting as he tried to ignore the biting pain in his chest and side.

The lift was slow getting to them, just one more way to save power, so Jim turned to look back at his crew while Scotty idly toyed with the lift's control panel.

Jim's eyes wondered across the bridge stopping here and there. His eye's landed on Uhura's hands as they flew over the communication grid before flicking up to the scar that twisted along the side of her beautiful face as she relayed standard procedures for Gray Alert status through the ship's Com. system.

He pulled his eyes away as guilt clawed at his guts. He could have pulled her out before the reinforcements had landed, but he had let her stay. He had almost let her die. Yes, she had been able to save many lives that day and he didn't regret his part in that, but he did regret letting her go after that last trapped child. The one she couldn't save, the one that got her captured by the Borg.

Jim shook off his dark thoughts. The past didn't matter, she was safe now and that was all that mattered. He had to look forward or at lest pretend to. His crew needed him to keep morale up.

The turbolift arrived then, distracting him from dwelling too much over things he couldn't change. He glanced one last time around the bridge a small glow of pride kindling in his chest at their determined strength.

Spock had taken the captain's chair and was completely ignoring the Borg cube drifting across the screen as he worked on his PADD. The ensigns, all of them too young to have been in the academy for more than a year if that, were at their stations only infrequently glancing at the main screen. Chehov and Sulu were leaning close to each other their hands nearly touching as they worked to coordinate the_ Enterprise_ closer to the _T'Met_ so, if they needed to, the two ships could combine power sources for a limited time. Jim sighed and let the doors close.

There was nothing he could say. Everyone was trying there best, but the hopelessness of the endless fighting was clear in their faces and the way they moved. They were tired and scarred and strong, Jim didn't know how much longer they could last, but he was proud of them. Proud of their will to fight even though there was no winning.

"They'll be all right, Captain," Scotty said, pulling Jim from his thoughts with a hand on his shoulder. "Long as this old girl has life in her, we'll keep going."

Jim flashed at the older man a grin, "Thanks, Scotty."

He shook himself, what had he been thinking? No winning? Of course there was a way, there had to be. He was James T. Kirk. He didn't believe in 'no win' scenarios. If he couldn't win the war he would just have to change the game.

The doors opened and both men turned to glance down the hall. There were plants in hydroponic pots covering the walls. The plants had gone wild growing across the walls and ceiling till the over all view was of a well-carpeted jungle. A few people start poking their heads out of doorways as Uhura's voice reminded everyone that the hall were to be kept as clear as possible so the Botany crews could tent to any plants that had been damaged during the fighting.

"Anyone injured in the coarse of the battle is to report to the medical station nearest them," Uhura's voice chimed from the speakers; "There are medical stations on all decks. Please remember that the main medical bay is for emergencies only."

"I think this old girl has more life in her than she knows what to do with," Jim joked as he led the way down the hall, one hand brushing along the plant covered wall. The plants had been Sulu's idea. It was a perfect way to improve the life support with out using more power.

Jim glanced back and saw a bright smile on Scotty's face as he stopped to slide a fallen flower into a little girl's hair. Jim smiled at the older man.

"You and Nyota got any plans, kid wise, Scotty?" Jim asked casually.

"Captain! We're only good friends," Scotty sputtered, blushing frantically.

"Now, now Scotty," Jim said, wigging his finger at the older man, "you know as well as I that the human race needs more babies. And seeing as Nyota and Spock broke up, now would be a great time for her dear friend," he winked at the blushing engineer, "to offer a little comfort. Don't you think?"

The Scotsman was still bright red when they walked into main engineering five minutes later and Jim couldn't help but notice the little smile Scotty had, the same smile he always wore when working out a minor problem in the warp drive, his plotting something smile. Jim grinned. It was about time Scotty acted on his crush.

"Alright everyone, we have some guests coming over so I need you to be on your best behavior." Jim said as he waved the red shirted engineers over, "Pike and a team of his engineers are on their way over. Looks like we'll be getting some fresh Dilithium."

There were happy murmurs and a few of the men and women who were off duty climbed out of their bunks to join in the merriment.

Jim let Scotty organize the crews as he walked over to wall Com. "Kirk to Bridge."

"Spock here, Captain," Jim turned to the wall to hide his grin. Spock just sounded so prim and he had been out of the Vulcan's company for a good five minutes, he was starting to get lonely.

"Scotty's getting the crews together so tell Pike to beam over in, let's say, three minutes?"

"I will inform the admiral promptly." Spock's voice was low and calm, but Jim could tell the other man was disturbed by something.

"Chess tonight, Spock?" Jim asked, glancing around. There was no one near by. Most of the engineers were crowded around Scotty. Some were sleeping in the bunks along the walls. There weren't any civilians in engineering, but not all the crewmen with bunks in engineering were engineers. Most were scientist or medical personal that lost out on bunks closer to their work. A very few were security, but most of the fighters were on other smaller attack ships like the _T'Met_. The _Enterprise_ wasn't designed as a passenger ship, but it was one of the only truly large ships left so they did what they had too. They kept people safe.

"Captain?" Spock asked pulling Jim out of his thoughts. He realized that he had missed Spock's response he had been too sidetracked by staring at the plants growing long the edges of the bunks.

"Sorry, Spock," Jim said rubbing one hand over his eyes, "I was wool gathering."

"Most illogical, Captain," Spock said, a faint note of amusement in the Vulcan's voice, "There are no sheep on board the _Enterprise_ from which fleece could be collected."

Jim laughed brightly, "You know what I meant. Anyway, Chess?"

"Certainly, Captain." There was a low murmur and Jim could make out Uhura's voice saying something to Spock. "Captain, it seems the T'Met's transporters are malfunctioning. They wish to send a shuttle craft over."

"Damn," Jim let his head fall against the wall, "We don't have a clear shuttle bay for them to land in. Can you patch me through to Pike again?"

"Yes, sir." Spock's voice still had that hint of something troubling in it, but Jim let it go. He would find out what was going on over chess.

There was a slight click as the comm. channel was transferred.

"Pike here, what's up Jim?"

"We can't land a shuttle over here, Admiral." Jim said as he slowly bashed his head against the wall a few times.

"Why not?" Pike sounded indigent as if they were five and Jim was refusing to come to his birthday party.

"All our shuttle bays are being used for housing, Chris."

"I know you're crowded over there, but surely you left one bay open," Pike's voice was slightly scolding.

"My ship was built to hold a max capacity of 500 people, Pike," Jim said still hitting his head softly against the wall.

"I know…" Jim cut him off.

"We are currently holding 2468 people and you're bringing over more. No, Pike, I didn't leave a shuttle bay open. I can't have people sleeping in the hallways and they are the only somewhat clear areas we have. And I CAN'T land a shuttle. We don't have the space."

There was a heavy sigh and Jim could almost hear Pike run his hand over his face, "Why don't we link the ships up and get out of here. We can work out how to fix up the _Enterprise_ once we're holed up somewhere reasonably safe."

Jim glanced around the room at the crowded bunks lining the walls, the dim 'energy saving' lights, and the two-option replicators (hot protein gruel and cold protein gruel) before sighing and rubbing the red mark on his forehead. "Sure. Maybe we could meet up with the _Essex_ or the _Sh'Ran_. They could help."

"I agree, Jim." Pike sounded worn out. "Let's just get out of here."


	3. Chapter 2

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.

I was late updating because I was traveling and had no internet. Sorry.

Also this was mostly written very late at night and with the help of a few glasses of wine so I'm sorry if there are more mistakes than normal.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 2

"Checkmate," Spock's voice was calm as he moved his last knight to trap Jim's king.

"Good game," Jim smiled. He had been so close to beating Spock that time. He only need one more move to take out Spock's queen and then he would have won, but he couldn't resent the half-Vulcan for getting passed his defenses. They had been playing together for years and Spock had learned a lot of his sneakier tricks. This of chores made Jim think up more new and interesting sneaky tricks.

They had decided to play in the observation deck, which had been turned into a sort of garden for growing fresh vegetables and herbs, because it over looked the main fight deck where many families and orphaned children lived. A few botanists were tending the garden, but they let the Captain and First Officer play undisturbed.

Jim liked spending time in the observation deck, because he could look down on the flight deck and the refuge camp that was "housed" there. Despite the war there was always laughter and kids playing. It had easily become one of Jim's favorite places, because everyone here was making the best of things and getting on with their lives.

"Another game before shift change, Mr. Spock?" Jim asked as he started replacing his peaces on the board.

"I think not, Captain," Spock said and aimed a small nod to a spot behind the younger man, "I believe Miss Joanna has fallen asleep."

Jim glanced over his shoulder and sure enough Jojo was curled under the curve of a hydroponic-nutrient tank. He felt a grin pulling at the edges of his mouth. Her school had just gotten out when Jim had walked past it getting to the mess for a bite of dinner. He had been walking along not thinking of anything other than how much he hated gruel when he felt a pair of small arm rap around his middle. He hadn't been overly surprised to see Joanna grinning up at him. He had tried to send her home, but she had followed him to the observation deck on the grounds that she was going to start "working" as a "Bee" soon. He was a marshmallow; he couldn't turn her down so he let her follow him.

It was the "Bee's" job to tend to the plants by collecting pollen for the botany teams with small tricorders that hummed and sang when they were near pollen. Most "Bees" were children between eight and twelve years old. It was a fun little job and it let them get out of the over crowed housing blocks and schoolrooms. And it helped the botany crews keep track of the over abundance of plants on the ship.

Jojo had just turned eight. She had been practically dancing when she told him she had passed the exam and been assigned to the hall outside sickbay.

"Where daddy is!" she had sung happily. Jim had smiled and held her hand as they walked; nodding at the "good luck" that got her the post she wanted most. He would have to talk to Bones about rigging the assignment roster, but he was happy for them. They hardly got any time together and they would definitely see each other more this way.

Jim laughed, "I think you're right Spock." Jim stood and started helping Spock put the pieces away. Once the game was all put away Spock slipped the surprisingly small box into his messenger-bag with his PADDs and research notes.

"I better get her back home." Jim stretched, holding in a yawn. He wasn't on duty and wouldn't be till alpha shift, but he hated sleeping when they were traveling in enemy territory. Of course that was practically everywhere these days, but still. He never slept well when his lady was danger. Even if the danger was nearly omnipresent.

"I shall accompany you Captain." Spock announced, drawing Jim's eyes to him once again, and lifting the table and folding it and the two chairs together and slipped them into a storage bin under a tray of seedlings.

"You make that look so easy," Jim sighed and pulled his black undershirt back into place before he turned and lifted the sleeping eight year old into his arms. He always took off his "Golds" when he was off shift, as Captain he was never fully off duty, but that didn't mean he had to wear the scratchy "Golds" all the time.

Jim shifted Joanna until her head was resting on his shoulder. She was lighter than she should be, but food supplies were low so she didn't get as much as she probably needed. Light as she was lifting her had still been a bad idea. He groaned softly as the scars along his side and back screamed as they were stretched by Jojo's slight weight.

He ignored the pain as he tried once again to think of some way to supplement the kids' diets of replicator gruel, but all the food grown on board was already divided between the children, the sick, and any expectant mothers. Unless he gave up some of the housing for gardens which he couldn't do. Or if they could find a plant that grew in low light, produced both food and large amounts of oxygen, and thrived in shallow soil then they could replace some of the plants lining the halls. They had yet to find that wonder plant and air was a little more important than food. There simply was no way to grow more food.

There hadn't been a successful food raid in over a year, and that had been the last somewhat alive farm on the Omicron colony. If you could call the Omicron debacle a success, if you didn't than the last successful food raid had been a lot longer ago then a year.

"Hey, Spock do you remember the food raid we did on that Omicron colony?" He laughed, ignoring the pain of movement, as he shifted Joanna so she rested more firmly on his shoulder and pulled her hands around his neck so she could hold on if she woke up.

"I do indeed, Captain," Spock's voice dropped low enough that it wouldn't disturb Joanna, "I believe I may still owe you an apologue for that incident, Captain."

"What are you talking about Spock?" Jim said waving his free hand at his first officer, "You couldn't have known there was any danger. No harm no foul. Honestly, it's just too bad those spores don't work on the Borg."

Spock stopped at the door and glanced into Jim's eyes, "I was referring to the fact that I attacked and nearly strangled you for the second time while I was under the influence of the spores, Captain,"

Spock's voice was low almost harsh as Jim gazed into his warm chocolate eyes.

"No big deal, Spock." Jim said, shifting Jojo a little so he could pat the older man on the shoulder with his free hand, "I did provoke you and we didn't die. I call that a win."

"It is not inconsequential, Captain." Spock's voice was low almost too low for Jim to hear as he walked out with Spock following a few steps behind. "It is most interesting that you mentioned the Omicron colony. I have formed a hypothesis as to why the Vulcans were so adversely affected while the other species infected had far more positive reaction to the spores."

Jim nodded slowly. It had been one of the odder things. While everyone else had fallen into happy bliss the Vucans had gone quite, Jim shuddered inwardly. The Vucans had gone deathly quite and still, practically catatonic. The rest of the crew and passengers had been laughing and partying all trying to get down on the planet and the Vulcans had been so still.

Spock had been a little better then the "pure" Vulcans, but not much. Jim had been able to get Spock to look at him, but only after he had yelled and raged at him for a good five minutes. It was only after Jim had shaken Spock that he really reacted; and what a reaction it was, the half-Vulcan had literally jumped on Jim and pinned him to the wall.

"So, Mr. Spock," Jim asked, ignoring the phantom pain, and pleasure, of Spock's cool hand clenching around his neck with almost crushing force, "what is your hypothesis and why do you have one anyway?"

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Jim glanced back at his first officer and stopped. Spock's ears were a soft green, almost as if he were blushing.

"Is there something wrong, Spock?" Jim felt Jojo twitch and curl closer into his shoulder. He rubbed the little girl's back softly and rocked as much as his scars would let him, which was not much, until she was quite again.

"I would rather discuss this in private, Captain." Jim looked closer and now he was sure Spock was blushing. The light green had gotten much darker and was spreading along his cheekbones.

"Sure thing, Spock," Jim started walking again. He was suddenly very glad that they had not played another game. If it were any later the hall wouldn't be as empty as it was, even so there were still a few of people tending the plants, working on ship's maintenance, or carting food stuffs to the schools for delta shift classes. Any later and the hall would have been packed because of the shift change. Jim was sure that if they had been anymore public and he might never have gotten this much out of the older man. He knew there was something wrong, but he hadn't thought he would get anything from the closed mouthed half-Vulcan; at lest not this easily.

"When and where, Mr. Spock?" Jim glanced around as he started walking again. There wasn't anywhere that they could go to be really alone, maybe one of the Orion "love hotels". Wouldn't that be fun; he could almost see himself crawling into one of the tiny sound proofed boxes with his strait First Officer. But he didn't think Spock would want to discuss a serious problem when they were surrounded by fluffy pillows, twinkle lights, and leftover hormones.

"If you have time after the shift change, Captain," Spock's voice dropped forcing Jim to lean a little closer, "I believe Lady T'Pau would be willing to explain."

Jim felt like he had been tripped, only without the falling on his face part. He had to keep walking, this was big, bigger than he had ever thought. Lady T'Pau had not spoken to any none-Vulcans since the colony on New Vulcan had been destroyed nearly three years ago. The fact that she would be willing to talk to Jim now meant whatever was wrong with Spock was also effecting the other Vulcans and it was out of their control.

"Sure thing, Spock," Jim said breezily, as if he was invited into the very heart of the most carefully secluded species all the time. Even the few Klingons left were more open then the Vulcans and the Klingons refused to talk to anyone other than Kirk and Pike. "I'll meet you there once I get the shift reports and get Jojo to bed. That work for you?"

He glanced back to see that the blush had left from Spock's face and he was looking calm once again.

"That would be most acceptable, Captain" Spock stopped and bowed slightly, "I will be going then."

"See you in a bit," Jim said patting Jojo's hair softly, before he turned to the turbolift. Spock walked away heading toward one of the science labs, undoubtedly going to check the readings and shift findings for the whole department before sending the necessary reports to Jim.

"Bye bye," Joanna mumbled in her sleep. Jim was sure she hadn't over heard their conversation it was just a habit she had developed since Bones almost always left when she was still sleeping. Jojo hadn't had time to say goodbye to her mother and after Jocelyn "died" the little girl had gotten a bit of a complex about saying goodbye.

The lift arrived and Jim stepped in. It was empty for a change so Jim let himself lean on the wall and take a slow deep breath. Jim took a moment to thank whatever power had arranged for Jojo to be visiting her grandparents on Mars when the Borg had assimilated Earth. Joanna might not have said goodbye to her mother properly, but she hadn't been torn apart and stitched back together as a part of the "Collective" either.

The lift stopped to pick up a couple that was holding hands. Jim smiled as shifted slightly so he wasn't leaning on the wall anymore. The couple, a male human and a female Betazoid, smiled as they stepped into the lift.

"Hello," the man's voice was low so he wouldn't wake Jojo. "Your daughter is very pretty."

Jim smiled, grateful that the other was thoughtful about waking the little girl, "Thanks, but she's my niece not my daughter."

The man shrugged, "Doesn't really matter these days, it just good to see little ones healthy and well taken care of."

Jim nodded, they were all doing the best they could, but in a lot of ways it just wasn't enough. There were too many children who were sick or depressed. It was another reason the "Bee program" had started; it gave the kids something positive to think about, something to do.

"I hope our baby as happy as your niece," The woman said, gently rubbing her free hand across her flat belly.

"You're expecting?" Jim asked grinning, he got reports discussing the number of pregnant women on the ship, but he hardly ever met any.

The man pulled his lady close and encircled her in his arms protectively, "Yeah, we just found out."

"It's Betazoid tradition to tell the first stranger you meet after discovering the happy surprise," the woman said with a blush. She was looking down and cradling her belly gently as she said, "it's supposed to be good luck."

Jim lifted his free hand and wrote the Betazoid symbols for luck and health in the air in front of the women's still flat belly as he spoke the words of the ancient Betazoid blessing for new life.

The couple looked completely shocked as Jim finished the blessing and brushed a strand of Jojo's soft brown hair away from his face.

Jim grinned, "I might have learned a bit about Betazoid traditions at some point."

Jim's communicator cut off the couple's thanks by beeping loudly. He had to shuffle Jojo around a bit before he could pull his communicator off his belt.

"Kirk, here," Jim said grinning at the startled couple and rocking Jojo softly. The little girl had woken up and glared at him before setting her head back into his shoulder.

"Captain," Jim recognized the voice as belonging to Ensign Crusher, "I've picked up an automated distress signal from what may be an unknown Federation ship on the long range scanners."

"Any sign of Borg?" Jim asked, the door to the lift opened to Jim's floor and he got off nodding at the still gapping couple.

"No, sir. We're approaching the rendezvous point, sir. And we're on schedule, but I thought you should hear it for your self, Captain," his voice cut off and the distress signal started playing.

Most of the message was so garbled as to be unintelligible, but he could make out the words Federation ship, distress, and _Jellyfish._ But that was impossible; the Jellyfish had been destroyed in the Nero incident.

Jim sighed shifting Jojo slightly as he made his way down the hall to his quarters, "I'm going to my quarters to review the shift reports then I'm going to see Mr. Spock to discuss Vulcan-y stuff, and after that I'll come to the bridge. Looks like you have a mystery brewing up there, I want you to keep an eye on it, Mr. Crusher, and alert me if you get any new information."

"Yes, sir," Crusher sounded confident. He hoped the young Ensign was up to the task.

"Great, Kirk out." Jim closed his communicator before looking around and realized he had walked past his room. He brushed the hand that was still holding his communicator through his hair, "It never rains for what it pours, aye Jojo?"

Her voice was soft with sleep and muffled as she shrugged and nuzzled in closer to his neck, "Don't remember rain, uncle Jimmy."


	4. Chapter 3

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.

Thank you to everyone who added this story to their Story Alerts and Favorites lists. I don't check my email very often so I was super surprised and happy. And Thanks to everyone that has reviewed, it makes me happy.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 3

It had taken longer then Jim had wanted to get Jojo to bed and to read through the half-ton of shift reports, but he was finally outside the corridor that housed most of the Vulcans. Two very tall Vulcans, obviously guards, were standing along the wall on either side. Jim took a few steps closer and saw Spock standing few feet behind the guards, but facing the other way so he was looking down toward where T'Pau must be waiting for them.

Jim could see Spock's hands tighten and relax before tightening again. If he didn't know better Jim would have thought Spock was worried about their meeting. But that was impossible. After all, Spock was the one who was always calm, even in the face of almost certain Borg assimilation, while Jim would get desperate and do crazy things; which had worked so far.

Jim took a deep breath and straightened his 'Golds' before stepping forward and calling, "Hey Spock, been waiting long?"

Spock turned around and Jim could have sworn there was a hint of a smile on the half-Vulcan's thin lips. "Not at all, Captain."

Jim grinned as Spock nodded at the other Vulcans, who let him through without saying anything. Jim felt their eyes following him as he walked up to his first office and waved for him to lead the way. It had been a while since he had walked this particular strip of hallway, the Vulcans had gotten so secretive, but he could still remember were they had decided to house the remaining members of the Vulcan high counsel in one for the larger ambassador's quarters, so he wasn't surprised when Spock started walking that direction.

"I sent you a copy of the last shift's reports, Mr. Spock." Jim said walking a few steps behind the older man. He had to admit view was pretty damn good, especially since Spock took such long steps that his uniform pants stretched tightly across his lean butt.

"I will review them thoroughly, Captain," Spock's voice was quite and Jim noticed a few faces peering at them from half-closed doorways as they passed though there weren't very many people in the hall.

"It's mostly just the same old same old, Spock," Jim said letting his voice drop to just above a whisper, "fourteen pregnancies, three deaths, and two births. As well as hand full of ship malfunctions and three Borg sightings. But the thing that got me was a very unusual distress signal which seems to be from the _Jellyfish_."

Spock slowed down so he was walking beside Jim, "That is quite impossible, Captain. I destroyed the _Jellyfish_ myself."

"I know, but that's what it sounds like," Jim said shrugging. He missed the view of Spock's ass, but it was nice to be able to see the other man's face. "I'll send a cope of the sound file to you too. I've listened to it a few times," he shrugged, "maybe your Vulcan ear's can pick up something I couldn't."

Jim ran one hand through his hair, "Do you think it's worth bothering Uhura with?" He tried to think through the possibilities one more time, ticking them off in his mind. It might be nothing, or a trap, or the real _Jellyfish_ and if it really is the _Jellyfish_ then it might still have some Red-matter, which was far to dangerous to risk falling into Borg hands.

"Perhaps, Captain." Spock sounded thoughtful as they stopped and Spock waved Jim into a small plant filled alcove, where they could talk without standing in the way of anyone walking down the hall, "Nyota is more familiar with the Comm. system then anyone else in the fleet. She may be able to clear some of the interference, which would allow us to establish if it is in fact the _Jellyfish_ or not."

He completely ignored how Spock had said Uhura's first name, when he had yet to call Jim by his, even after working together for nearly five years. And playing chess nearly every night. And spending so much time together that Jim could read the half-Vulcan's face almost as easily as he could read Bones. It wasn't like he was jealous. He wasn't, not at all… Spock had come close to saying his name before, but they had always been interrupted and then when the Borg attacked…

Jim nodded and pulled one of his PADDs out from his bag and started writing a quick note, but hesitated in sending it to Uhura. It was fairly late and he didn't want to wake her if she was sleeping. Also he had been serious when he teased Scotty about asking Uhura out and he definitely didn't want to interrupt them, if they were together. He knew how long Scotty had been pining after Uhura, and he wasn't going to be the thing that stopped him, now that he might have worked up the courage to ask her out.

"Spock, do you think I should risk waking Uhura or should I just tell her tomorrow during shift?" Jim glanced up to see the other man was leaning close so their head were almost touching. He smiled. He had been speaking pretty softly.

"Or not tell her at all. I'm going to see if Ensign Crusher has anything new once we're done here." He nodded at the doors to the ambassador's suite, which were a few feet away, "It might be nothing and we have more important thing to be thinking of right now."

"I do not think that would be advisable, Captain." Spock voice was low and Jim could feel his cool breath on his ear.

"What are you talking about, Spock?" Jim glanced up at him again. Spock was frowning slightly and there was a slight wrinkle between his high Vulcan eyebrows.

"I am speaking of the fact that you have been awake for approximately twenty point six hours and," His voice shifted taking on an almost worried tone, "eighteen of those hours were spent in battle, on active duty, or in performing ship maintenance. I am concerned for your health, Ji…" Spock coughed, blushing a light green, before finishing, "Captain."

Jim grinned so wide his cheeks hurt. That had been the closest Spock had come to saying his name. And he was _worried_ about Jim's heath. "Thanks for worrying about me Spock, but I'm fine. And you can call me Jim, when we're off duty, you know."

"It is a first officer's duty to insure the health and continued effectiveness of his commanding officer," Spock straightened up and pulling his hands behind his back said, "And it would be inappropriate of me to address you without your title, Captain, as a captain is permanently on duty in times of war."

Jim sighed and handed his PADD to Spock to read, "Regulation 4789.3, I know. I think Bones quotes that one at me once a week, right along with Regulation 11." Jim made quotation marks in the air with his hands as he mimicked McCoy's southern drawl, "All officers are to comply with the orders of their Chief Medical Officer in matters of their physical and emotional heath."

"I did not anticipate the day that you would quote regulations to me, Captain." Spock's tone was dry as he flicked through the information on Jim's PADD, "However, Dr. McCoy may be right. You have clearly not been taking care of yourself as well as you should be."

Jim started to wave him off, but stopped when he felt a set of cool fingers rap around his arm just below his wrist. He looked up. He could feel a blush working its way up his cheeks, but he ignored it as he glared at his first officer.

Spock didn't let go, instead he turned Jim's PADD to show him the screen, which had Jim's schedule on the display, "You were meant to be sleeping during our chess match and you have not eaten lunch or dinner today."

"How did we go from discussing the possible survival of the _Jellyfish_ to fighting about my schedule?" Jim asked dumbfounded. He had never imagined Spock intentionally touching him, not outside their rare sparring matches. Well he had, but only in fantasies and the occasional wet dream.

"They are not unrelated," Spock said, refusing to let go of Jim's arm even when he tried to pull away, "Your tendency to over work yourself may lead to the situation becoming more dangerous than it appears. I have noticed you losing concentration several times today, which has already led to you injuring yourself."

Spock turned Jim's arm so he could see a burn and a few cuts along the palm of Jim's hand.

"All right, I get it. I'm tired and I got hurt. So what?" Jim shrugged and half-heartedly tried to pull his arm away.

Spock glared at him as he pulled a medical pack from his bag, "Do not move, Captain."

Jim sighed, but stayed still. It was pointless to fight about it, not when Spock was being stubborn. And he had to admit it felt good to have Spock's cool fingers sliding over the burn as he rubbed salve into his skin. It felt damn good actually. Jim let his eyes close for a minute. The feeling of Spock's soft skin was incredibly relaxing. He could feel the salve tingling into his skin everywhere Spock touched. Finally Jim felt Spock stroke two fingers over his injured palm then up to rest briefly on the tips of his first and second finger before he let go of Jim's hand.

Jim took a deep breath and opened his eyes to look at his hand. There was a bandage covering his palm and he could still feel a faint tingle were Spock had touched.

"Thanks, Spock," Jim glanced at the older man. Spock was gazing out into the corridor. The tips of Spock's ears were blushed green. He wondered how green the half-Vulcan's ears would be if he knew what Jim was planning to do with his Spock-touched hand later, when he was alone.

"Forgive my impertinence, Captain." Spock said not looking at him.

"Not at all, Spock. It feels a lot better know." Jim said tapping Spock's shoulder with the back of his bandaged hand. He sighed, "I think we have kept Lady T'Pau waiting long enough, don't you?"

He waited for Spock to look at him, but the other man was still looking away when he said, "I would like to make a request, Captain."

Jim took in a deep slow breath, the smell of the plants mixed with the soft spicy smell of Spock skin, before the sighed again, "Alright Spock, what do you want?"

Spock turned to look him in the eyes as he said, "I want to investigate the distress call from the _Jellyfish_ myself."

"Fine," Jim said, surprised. He had thought it would be something to do with him not working so hard. But he couldn't not work hard. He would go crazy.

"I also want your word," Jim lifted his eyebrows, "that you will go to bed as soon as we have spoken with Lady T'Pau."

"I can't do that Spock," Jim said pulling one hand through his hair.

"If you feel it is impossible," Spock straightened his shoulders and put his hands behind his back, "than I will be forced to inform Dr. McCoy of your distraction and injury."

"Blackmail!" Jim threw his hands over his head. "He'd take me off duty for a month."

"Indeed, Captain," Spock said nodding slightly.

"Fine," Jim signed and rubbed one hand over his face, "You'll check out the distress signal and I'll try and sleep. Now can we go talk to Lady T'Pau?"

"Certainly, Captain." Spock sounded smug, which made Jim smile.

* * *

AN: Sorry this chapter is a little short, but this "little talk" between Jim and Spock took longer than I thought I would and I just couldn't take out the Vulcan flirting…


	5. Chapter 4

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.

I feel great love for everyone who added this story to their Story Alerts and Favorites lists. Also! Thanks to everyone that has reviewed, it makes me happy.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 4

Lady T'Pau and the other remaining members of the Vulcan High Counsel had been given the Ambassador's suite so they could continue upholding Vulcan principles and traditions in some seclusion. This had obviously changed.

As he glanced around Jim counted no fewer than twenty adult Vulcans and at lest seven children scattered around the room, but they were all very studiously minding their own business. There were beds, some folded into chairs, and tables, which seemed to double as room dividers, everywhere. Even the table that Jim and Spock were sitting at seemed to be a playpen, or maybe a large crib, turned upside.

They had actually been early, even with the delay of Jim's duties and the little talk he and Spock had in the hall. T'Pau was in meditation with a few of the younger Vulcans and Spock didn't know when they would be finished with their "training".

The room was warm, nearly uncomfortably hot. Jim ignored the heat as he glanced around again; there were several plants he didn't recognize in pots on the floor as well as the normal oxygen-rich plants in their hydroponic pot on the walls. There was a group of very young children, between three and six year's old maybe, playing some sort of logic game with numbered sticks. There were several other groups made up of Vulcans of all ages were sitting in small circles around the room. Almost everyone else was resting or talking in very low voices. Even with the number of people the room was quite and peaceful, though Jim thought he felt a faint undercurrent of tension whenever someone happened to glace his way. It made him think they might not be wholly happy to have him visiting.

As he let his eyes wonder across the room Jim noticed something odd about the way the groups were sitting. It took him a moment then he saw that no matter how many there were in the group, the arrangement was the same. The people in the circles were sitting so that their left hands were holding the right wrists of the person beside them, but there was always one person sitting in the middle of the circle. That person had both their hands resting on to the faces of two of the others. They were smaller versions of T'Pau's meditation group.

"I thought meditation was a private thing," Jim turned to Spock, who was looking at him quietly, "what's up with all the groups?"

"Meditation is ideally a private practice. However," he gestured around the crowded room, "as circumstances prevent most forms of seclusion; group meditation, while not as effective, is far more practical." Spock lifted one shoulder before letting it fall in a half shrug, "It is the best we can do."

Jim nodded, wishing he hadn't asked. Spock looked almost as helpless as he felt. He shifted, grimaced as his scars pulled, and looked down at his "chair".

"Spock?" Jim wanted something, anything, to distract himself from the helpless feeling clawing at his gut, "whose bed am I sitting on?"

"Mine, Captain." Jim bounced a little; Spock's bed was definitely softer than his. He wished he could lay out on it, just to see if it smelled like Spock.

"It's really nice," Jim said, bouncing a little more before stopping, "but if I'm on your bed then whose bed are you sitting on?"

"No one's Captain." Spock shifted so Jim could see what he was sitting on, which was a crate of some kind. "This is my personal storage locker, Captain."

"Doesn't look very comfortable. You want to trade?" Jim offered and starting to get up. The "chairs" weren't really high enough to sit on properly, he had one leg bent strait in front of him and the other crossed under so he was comfortable, but the awkward angle made it hard for him to stand up.

"Not at all, Captain," Spock said, waving him to sit, "you are my…"

Jim grinned as Spock mentally discarded a few words, commanding officer or Captain seemed likely guesses, before settling on, "guest. As such it is my responsibility to see to your comfort, Captain. Perhaps I could get you something to drink or eat, such as the dinner you failed to eat earlier?"

Jim's grin widened at the determined look in Spock's eyes. Something told him he would be getting his dinner whether he wanted it or not. And he would probable have to eat all of it too or risk being force-fed gruel.

"Sure, Spock. I'd love dinner, here," He pulled his food card, which hung on a cord that he always kept under his shirt, out and handed it to the half-Vulcan.

"I will return shortly," Spock said as he got up gracefully. "It may be a few minutes as the replicator has been 'acting out'."

"It's 'acting up'," Jim corrected with a chuckle, "And tell me if it is. I can take a look at it while I'm here. Not to brag or anything, but I've gotten pretty good at fixing the damn things."

Spock nodded before walking away. Jim got the feeling that he wouldn't be hearing about the replicator. After all Vulcans might not lie but they did hold back the whole truth and Spock hadn't said he would.

Jim decided he might as well get so work done while he waited, he could check up on Ensign Crusher and the _Jellyfish_ or check in with engineering and maybe get someone to run diagnostics on the Vulcan replicators, but then he remembered that he had given his PADD to Spock in the hall and Spock never gave it back. He sighed, then yawned heavily. He had nothing to DO! He'd done enough people watching, any more and he'd be being rude. T'Pau and her group hadn't changed and weren't showing any signs of coming out of their shared trance.

He let himself flop back so he was sprawled over Spock's folded bed. It did smell like him. Like warm sand and spice and the wind off of the mountains, it smelled like Spock. Jim found himself taking long deep breaths as he sank into the warm soft bedding.

Jim was floating, warm and safe, in the hum of the _Enterprise_'s engines. He could even feel it buzzing along his side just like the burn cream Spock had rubbed into his hand; but it was muffled, farther away. It felt nice. He rolled closer, curling around the soft tingling hum. Another sound joined the engine's hum; the sound of a big cat purring. He snuggled closer and drifted away.

Jim woke up curled on his side with his face pressed into Spock's bed.

"Shit," he hissed as he sat up, only to fall back again as all his muscles convulses painfully.

"Captain!" Jim looked up to see Sock leaning over him looking as openly worried as Jim had ever seen, "Are you injured? How are you hurt?"

Jim waved him off, closed his eyes and tried to push the pain to the back of his mind and relax, "It's nothing Spock. Just a cramp, it'll stop in a minute."

"Does this happen often, Captain?" Spock's voice was low and Jim could tell the other hadn't moved.

"Yeah," Jim sighed, his muscles were starting to relax a bit, "if I move suddenly after I've been still for a while or if I don't warm up properly before I work out. You know stuff like that."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Jim opened his eyes so Spock could see his eyes, and so he could see Spock's, "No, Spock. You can't help with the pain, but you can help me up."

He held his right hand up. Spock grabbed his forearm and carefully pulled him until he was sitting, legs outstretched and free arm rapped around his scared right side protectively.

"Sorry about that Spock and about falling asleep on you," Jim was feeling pretty embarrassed. How could he let himself fall asleep on Spock's bed, let alone cuddling in to it like that? And what was with the weird dream? Floating in the engines while they purred like a tomcat? Really? Maybe Spock and Bones were right. Maybe he was working too much. "How long was I out?"

"Approximately twenty-six minutes Captain." Spock was still leaning over him looking worried. "Is there anything that can be done to cure you?"

Jim glanced over at T'Pau's group and sighed in relief, they were still meditating. "Yeah sure," Jim grimaced at the look of hope that flickered across Spock's face, "A full biomedic reconstruction of my abdomen would fix everything. Problem is we don't have the power or the tools to do that.

"It's bit like phantom limb pain, Spock." Jim shifted, mostly painlessly, so he was sitting closer to the table, "My muscles were trying to work the way they did before they were hacked apart, but the missing bits make that impossible so they cramped up. I'm fine now."

Spock nodded slowly before sitting on his side of the table and pushing a covered tray to Jim, "Your dinner, Captain."

"Thanks Spock," Jim lifted the tray's lid and grimaced dramatically at the bowl of nutrient gruel, "And I really am sorry I fell asleep."

"It is of no concern, Captain," Spock waved at him to start eating, which he did, "I was able to use the time to meditate. And it seems as if Lady T'Pau will be joining us shortly."

Jim looked over to T'Pau's group again and sure enough they were starting to move around a bit, loosening their grip on their neighbors and shifting slightly. As he watched a few even opened their eyes.

"I have good timing, don't I?" Jim grinning turned back to his meal and took a few sips.

"Indeed, Captain," Spock lifted two trays that Jim hadn't noticed and arranged them so one was in front of the seat directly across from Jim and the other must have been his own since Spock placed it in front of himself. "I was just about to wake you when you sat up."

They ate quietly, Spock eating in quick efficient spoonfuls and Jim slowly picking at his, until Lady T'Pau arrived.

Both men stood, Jim much more clumsily than Spock, and gave her the Vulcan Salute, which she returned.

"Live long and prosper, Captain Kirk," T'Pau was surprisingly spry for being nearly two hundred Earth years old and sat down gracefully.

"Peace and long life, Lady T'Pau," Jim grimaced as he sat down, suddenly very grateful that Spock's bed was so soft.

"Greetings, sa'fu-il," T'Pau nodded to Spock who had also sat down.

"Greetings, ko'mekh-il," Spock removed the lid of T'Pau's tray and set it a side for her before settling back in his own chair, well his storage crate.

There was a long pause as T'Pau closed her eyes and took several long sips of what looked to Jim like tea. He wondered where they had gotten the tealeaves.

"I apologies for the delay, Captain," the Vulcan matron said opening her eyes and looking into Jim's eyes with piercing intensity. "However, this is a Vulcan matter and it is only because for Spock's absolute trust in thee that I have agreed to speak of it with thee."

Jim bowed slightly, silently thanking whatever, god or whim, had inspired him to take Vulcan cultural history at the academy, "I come to serve."

T'Pau nodded slightly, "Thy service honors us." She took another long sip of tea and said, "I have meditated long on what I wish to said and how it should be said. I will speak and thee will listen. Once I have said what must be said I will answer any questions thou may have."

Jim nodded and, glancing at Spock, took a slow sip if his gruel. He had a feeling that this was going to be a long story.

T'Pau settled herself more comfortably and took a long slow drink of her own dinner before she began her speech.

"We, the last of the children of Vulcan, told thee many secrets when we first took shelter on thy ship, but we kept some for they would not result in harm coming to others. This is not a secret that if kept could harm others such as the secret of Pon farr, which if left to run amok may hurt many. Doctor McCoy and thyself have kept that secret with our thanks."

Jim nodded remembering the very awkward conversation he and Bones had had with Spock about the Vulcan mating drive and how, after the destruction of Vulcan, it had become erratic leading some to go into their time years early and others, mostly those who had lost bond mates, to skip or lose their time altogether.

"This is not so dangerous a secret, but it is just as deep in the hearts of Vulcan. It to is at the very core of all that we are and all that we can be. We are touch telepathists. This is a fact that we share openly and with no shame for there is no shame in the communication of pure thought. We also bond telepathically with our mates. This is another fact we do not hide. What we do not share is how these two fact are connected."

Jim sat forward listening closely. He had sometimes wondered how bond mates kept their telepathic link when they weren't touching. Not that he had, at times, wondered what it would be like to be bonded with a Vulcan…

"As with so many things, the truth is more complex than we ever told our allies in the Federation," T'Pau took a long sip of tea, "We are touch telepathists however in our earliest times Vulcans may have been true telepathists. The only evidence of this is the fact that in earliest parts of life Vulcans still manifest full telepathic abilities, and very rare cases of what we believe to be genetic regression."

"The ability to converse telepathically resides in the same part of the Vulcan brain as that which controls the understanding and use of spoken language. Because of this coexistence there is a relationship between the strength of a newborns telepathic power and its understanding of spoken language, when the child grows older it loses much of the power to project telepathically as it learns, first to make and understand sounds, and then to speak. However, there are instances were a child's telepathic abilities never diminish. In all of these instances the child grew to adulthood without learning to speak. Those who have this condition retain their full projective telepathy though out their lives. This is the genetic regression I spoke of; while interesting it is of no importance as the last Vulcan born with this condition was killed when our planet was destroyed."

T'Pau shifted gracefully and placed a small wooden box on the table beside her dinner tray.

"This," She tapped the box gently, "contains a herb tea mixed from the leaves of our Vulcan spice plants,' she indicated the plants Jim hadn't recognized earlier, "Would you like a cup?"

Jim nodded respectfully. He could tell that they were getting to the part T'Pau didn't want to talk about. What ever this was this secret was they had gotten very used to hiding it. Spock stood up and took their trays and walked off

He was back in less than a minute holding a large teapot and two cups, "I took the liberty of checking with the chemical construction of the tea against your medical records. There should not be any problems with your allergies, Captain."

"Thanks Spock," Jim took one of the cups. Because of the all gruel diet Jim hadn't had an allergic reaction in years; well not one caused by food anyway.

He took a long sip of the tea, it was spark and bitter, but it wasn't gruel so it was delicious.

T'Pau took a long drink and sighed gently, "More importantly, throughout the shift from relying on telepathy to use of the spoken language all Vulcans develop strong connections between the telepathic and tactile parts of the brain, strengthening the already formed touch telepathy yet leaving a very weak projective telepathy. In most Vulcans this power reaches no farther than a few inches from the tips of the fingers, except when it is bound directly between two minds. That is what Bonds are."

T'Pau looked deep into Jim's eyes. He suddenly noticed that her eyes were the exact same shape as Spock's, though hers were a deeper brown, "Bonds are a formed from the slight projective telepathy that is not lost. This power is minimal however it is more than enough to create and maintain Bonds. Before a child is born its mother goes into a deep meditative trance and seeks out the mind of the unborn babe. The two bond because of the mother's intent and the child's raw telepathic strength."

"In the months before birth a Vulcan child's raw strength and instinct creates endless weak, but permanent, Bonds. Once there was a long and endlessly tangled web of Bonds connecting all living Vulcans. This is the first Bond made and it has lived from the beginning of all Vulcan and will live as long as there are still Vulcans to be bound to it."

"This is the fact that we have held so very close. At first we kept it from the Federation, for it is the very core of us; older than the teachings of Surak, more powerful than the call of the Blood fire," T'Pau's voice was low.

"When the Borg came and destroyed the Federation and kill so many, we kept this secret to guard against possible misunderstandings or false accusations of similarity to the Borg; for this shared Bond acts as form of collective mind."

Jim almost choked on his tea as he gasped. He had not been expecting this. Collective mind? They were right to hide that. Even some of the less powerful telepathic species had started banning any form of collective thinking so they would not be, even vaguely, compared to the Borg. Jim took a long slow breath and a sip of his tea before nodding for T'Pau to go on, but Spock interrupted. He seemed unusually eager for Jim to understand.

"Ours is in no ways similar to the Borg hive mind, Captain," Spock said leaning closer to Jim, "All their thoughts and decisions are made as one. For them there is no individual there is only the whole."

T'Pau nodded, pulling Jim's attention back to her, "This is so. They are one made of many. We are many who share part of ourselves, but a part that is so deep that it is without words."

"For Vulcan's the transition of thought through collective bond is unconscious," Spock waved toward a group of sleeping Vulcans, "we can no more control it then humans can control dreams or Betazoid newborns can control their projective empathy."

T'Pau motioned for Spock to sit back, which he did rather reluctantly, before speaking again. Her voice took on an almost singsong quality as if she was telling a well-known children's story.

"Before the time of the Awakening the bond between all Vulcans was a driving force in wars as it was all the fear and pain felt by all that lived in that time collected and forced into the minds and souls of all Vulcans.

"A central pillar of Surak's teachings is the study of the subconscious so that with its mastery the collective bond can be eased and made a calm source of strength for all who are troubled.

She sighed gently and her voice resumed its formal tone, "Before the Immeasurable Loss our collective thoughts were no more than a hum deep in the back of all Vulcan minds. It was akin to the sound for thy Earth's oceans; constant and soothing, for it was the living embodiment of the peaceful minds of Vulcan."

"We call it the Immeasurable because at the time of Vulcan's destruction incalculable Bonds were broken as those who held them died. For many of the survivors the collective Bond is the only one they have left."

Jim nodded slowly. It was starting to make a hideous kind of sense. He got a horrific wrenching feeling in his gut as he put all the bit of information together in his head. Jim finished off his tea in one long gulp, before setting his cup down and hoping, possible for the first time in his life, that he was wrong.

"I have told thee all we know," T'Pau said setting down her tea and shifting so she was farther from the table, "and Spock will now tell thee all we suspect."

Spock nodded at Jim's stricken expression, "I believe you have already accurately identified our problem, Captain."

"The collective Bond is damaged," Jim guessed still hoping that he was wrong, "That's why you're telling me all this."

"It is indeed, Captain," Spock's voice was low and full of pain as he looked Jim with his deep chocolate eyes, "and there is nothing we can do without your help."

* * *

AN thingy: I'm really sorry if this chapter is confusing or unreadable… I spent so much time trying to make sense of it that I don't even know if what I'm saying makes sense. I don't even know…


	6. Chapter 5

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. And I'm not changing any of that out of fear of being taken down. This is the way the story goes.

I apparently had the word telepathists all over the last chapter… Sorry, I'll fix it sooner or later.

Also I'm sorry this chapter is so late. I was on vacation in Canada with the family and Internet connections were sketchy then I got the stomach flu and the will to write, or do anything other than sleep, died.

Big Thanks to RubyHair for proof reading this, but any mistakes are still mine!

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 5

Jim stood outside his door just staring at the keypad. He had learned so much in the last hour and a half, but he wasn't sure what he was going to do about any of it. For the first time in days he felt exhausted, really truly exhausted, but his mind was buzzing so much that he didn't think he would be able to sleep and there was an empty aching feeling in his chest like someone had pulled out his heart and replaced it with a phaser set to overload.

It didn't matter he had to at lest try and sleep, after all he'd promised Spock. Jim sighed and typed his code into the keypad beside the door. It slid open and he stepped in quickly not letting much light into the dark room.

He stood there waiting for his eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. It was midway through Gamma shift so most of the normal bridge crew was asleep, which meant the lights in bridge quarters were set to a max of 15% normal. It also meant Jim had to be careful not to wake anyone when he started toward his bed.

Once his eyes had adjusted Jim took a moment to survey the room so he wouldn't trip over anyone. He glanced around, Chekov and Sulu were cuddled up on their bunk attached to the far right wall with Lieutenants Abelson and Smith in the bunk above them. There were a few ensigns scattered around the room in hammocks along the walls or hanging from the ceiling or on pallets on the floor. A few of the lieutenants had better beds in the bunks along the walls or in large comfortable sleeping bags on the floor. Yeoman Rand had taken over Jim's desk and was sleeping with her feet tucked under the computer screen he never used.

Jim mapped out a path before starting for the dividing wall that hid his bed. It took a few tries, but he managed to avoid stepping on anyone. Once he was safely on his side of the room he stripped down to his boxer-briefs, folded his clothes neatly, set them in his luggage compartment, which had once been a bedside table, and crawled into bed behind Bones. His bunkmate/best friend/doctor scooted away slightly, automatically moving closer to the little bedside bunk where Jojo was fast asleep.

Jim slid closer to McCoy, wrapping his arms around the older man and snuggling his face into the soft hair at the back of Bones' neck. He brushed his fingers over the large round scar that cut through Bones' shoulder; the Borg laser had gone right through, cutting an inch round hole on its way. Jim forced himself to stop fidgeting with the sensitive skin and wrapped his arm around the older man, but try as he might he couldn't stop his mind from repeating what Spock and T'Pau had told him.

Words like 'irreparable damage' and 'permanent insanity' were flying through his mind at light speed. Jim found himself curling closer around Bones as his mind worked parts of the conversation over and over again. He knew what he was doing, but it was far away like he was feeling someone else work his fingers, twisted and untwisted them, into Bones' chest hair. He knew he should stop, but he couldn't.

Suddenly there was a sharp stinging along Jim's neck near his face. He realized that Bones had him by the wrist and was pushing him away.

"Bones!" Jim whined softly, careful not to wake any of the others, "Why'd you hit me?"

Jim shifted away carefully working his way back out of the bed as Bones followed him and they both stood up.

Jim waited, but instead of answering him Bones just nudged him towards the door to the bathroom. Getting the hint, Jim walked over to the door and waited as McCoy picked up both their clothes before nudging him into the only soundproofed room on the deck.

Once they were inside and the doors had closed, Jim turned to his best friend and raised one eyebrow in a poor imitation of Spock.

"Ok," Jim said checking that the door to the 'First Officer's quarters' were closed, "What was that all about?"

"You tell me, Jim." Bones sounded more than a little annoyed. Jim imagined it had something to do with being woken up after having just getting to bed and knowing that the crazy-hard day you just had was going to seem easy when you had to do it all over again only sleep deprived this time.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jim blinked his baby blues at the glaring doctor, "I was just trying to get to sleep when you pushed me out of bed."

Bones spluttered and tossed their dirty clothes into the decontaminator beside the door to the sonic shower. "You were trying to sleep the way a panda tries to kills ducks. And even if I did believe that garbage, I would have to be a fool to let you pull my chest hairs out one by one, the way you always do when you can't stop thinking. So just tell me what ever you are having a problem with. Who knows, I might even be able to help."

Jim nodded feeling a little guilty. He had known that Bones would wake up and he really needed to talk to the older man.

"Sorry, Bones," Jim let himself sit on the counter his back to the mirrors, "I just had a talk with the Vulcan High Counsel and it got to me… I'm not sure what to do Bones…"

"So there's something wrong with the hobgoblins?" Jim let his head fall into his hands as Bones sat beside him near the sink. "You can't take it so hard Jim, everyone is sick these days."

Jim let out a half-hysterical, half-derisive laugh as he turned to look at his best friend, "I know Bones, I know." He laughed again more hysterical this time than anything, "The Klingons have some kind of pneumonia, the Bajorans have Andorian flu, the Betazoids are suffering from a mysterious chicken pox like thing, the Andorians are getting heat stroke at in the same rooms were Humans are getting frostbite, and now the otherwise healthy Vulcans are on the knife-edge of sanity."

He realized there were tears streaming down his face. He was still laughing, but it didn't feel like laughter. It felt like he was burning, tearing apart, crying.

"Ok, you lost me there Jim," Jim felt as Bones took him by the arm and pulled him into the sonic shower. He even helped as the older man pulled his underwear off before letting him lean on the wall, still laughing in great sobbing breaths. "What's this about the Vulcans going crazy?"

Jim shifted as Bones pushed him into the sonic's pulse waves, "They were… they have… I…" Jim tried to get his thoughts in some kind of order, but failed as a fresh wave of sobs rocked through him.

"It's all right. It's all right," Jim felt Bones' hands rubbing along his back. His tone was soft and comforting; it was the same tone he used when Jojo was sick as a baby or even longer ago when Jim had just entered Star Fleet and was still as raw and broken as his life and Tarsus IV had made him. "Deep breaths, Jim."

He tried and gradually he started to breath more slowly. Bones gentle massage helped, as did his soothing familiar tone.

"Ok, now what's wrong with the Vulcans?" Bones helped Jim turn around so he was looking the older man in he eyes. Jim found himself leaning close to the old man and practically clinging to him as he tried to talk.

Jim took a deep slow breath and explained as best he could without reveling too much, "The Vulcan telepathy was damaged when Vulcan was destroyed. During the incident with the spores on Omicron Ceti III the Vulcans had their shields lowered by the spore, this is all Spock's hypothesis so you know I'm not making it up. Anyway, he thinks that the spores revealed the damage and since then it has been getting worse. At this point there is very little they can do to treat it and nothing they, or anyone, can do to cure it."

"Don't they have healers for their mind voodoo stuff?" Bones sounded annoyed, probably because the Vulcans had gone to Jim and not to him for help, as he helped Jim lean on the wall where sonic jets would massage his back.

"The healers are damaged too. They can't help," Jim shifted so his head was leaning on Bones' good shoulder and he pulled his arms loosely around the older mans waist. For the first time he noticed that Bones had undressed and was naked too, it didn't matter.

"The only thing that is helping is group meditation, but they need more room so they can have more people participating. And even that's just a tiny bandage over a full-force phaser burn."

Jim glanced up at Bones, who was patting Jim's hair softly, "I assigned Rec. Room 4 for their exclusive use between 2200 and 500 hours every three days."

Bones nodded slowly. The sonic cut off, the five-minute max had timed out. "That's the one the Andorians and the Tellarites hang out in, right?"

Jim nodded dully before letting his arms drop and following Bones out of the sonic shower. Bones pulled their, now clean, clothes out of the decontaminator and handed Jim his before slipping his own underwear on.

Jim did the same then glanced at himself in the mirror. A network of thin, pale scars expanded across his right side from his hipbone up across his chest to just under his heart with tendril-like scars weaving around his side to his back and down his right leg. Some of them were from where Bones had cut him open to pull Borg cybernetic implants out, but most were from the implants themselves. Jim turned away from the mirror; now was not the right time to dwell on that.

"Yeah, that's where they hang out," Jim laughed a cold bitter sound. "Even with the Federation dead its Founding members still aren't getting along. I still have to act the diplomat and get everyone to play nice."

Bones patted Jim on the shoulder before turning and walking back into their room. Jim followed him into the room and watched as Bones pulled the blanket over himself and Jojo, who had shifted off her bunk and was curled into Bones' chest, one small hand pulled up to her pouting mouth and a slide of tears glistening along her cheek.

"Daddy?" Jojo's voice was soft as Jim crawled into the bed behind Bones, "Where'd you go?"

"My fault JoBow," Jim said patting the little girl's back soothingly. "I had to talk with your daddy, but everything's fine. Go to sleep."

Joanne glanced at him and smiled slightly despite the tears that were still trailing down her cheeks, "S'ok, Uncle Jimmy."

Bones pulled his daughter into a hug and groaned, "Yes good, now sleep. Both of you." He glared up at Jim as he said the last part.

Jim laughed and lay back pulling the blanket over himself as he cuddled into Bones' back. He took a deep breath and really felt it. The horrible empty feeling in his chest was gone. Talking with Bones had helped. Jim let himself drift to sleep.

* * *

Warning for next chapter… There will be blood and gore; it is what has to happen so yeah.


	7. Chapter 6

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.

Chapter warning there is some blood and gore in this so… yeah.

Thanks to every one who has reviewed! It makes me happy!

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 6

_ Jim felt Spock's fingers brush along his hand, rubbing along his palm over his fingers; gently back and forth over and over. Cool fingers worked up his arm to his shoulder and started rubbing gentle, warming slowly as they worked the tension from his muscles. He glanced over to grin appreciatively at Spock, but was surprised to see Bones was the one standing behind him rubbing his shoulders with his strong surgeon's hands. Jim grinned at his best friend. He loved Bones' hands._

_ Jim lay back into Bones' hands and closed his eyes. He let himself drift as a second pair of hands, this pair cool and soft and definitely Spock's, drifted along his side pulling his shirt away from his skin._

_ Bones' hands-warm, comfortable, and familiar-started pushing him down onto the bed as Spock's cool sexy hands pulled his shirt off and started drawing patterns on his skin with soft cold fingers._

_ Spock's fingernails started scratching onto Jim's skin, making shallow cuts. Jim wiggled, trying to get away from pain, but he was so tired he could barely move. He tried to brush Spock's hand away from his side but grabbed him by the wrist and pined him down. Bones' hands were getting cold again as Jim tried to pull his wrist out of Spock's too cold grip. He glanced at Bones' hands, which were holding his shoulders down stopping him from getting up, but they were too pale. The pain in his side was getting worse as Spock's ice cold fingers dug into it, drawing blood in crazy patterns._

_ Jim shuddered and forced himself to look up. Bones and Spock were standing over him. Their hands digging into his flesh, holding him down and ripping his skin open as their implants flashed._

Jim sat up, sweat dripping down his face, and glanced around. The room was quiet. Bones and Jojo were sleeping peacefully, curled up together on the bed beside him. The sounds the others sleeping drifted softly from the other side of the dividing wall. Jim brushed one hand over his face as his heart started slowing down. Everything was alright. There were no Borg here.

He let himself fall back onto the bed. It had been a while since he had that particular memory/dream. Jim shuddered.

Jim felt Bones shift closer to him and glanced at the older man, who was awake now and looking at him worriedly.

"You Ok, kid?" the doctor's voice was low, his southern drawl thick with worry, as he shifted a little to face Jim.

"I'm fine," Jim said sliding away a little, he didn't feel like cuddles just then.

Bones lifted Jojo and gentle set her on her little half bunk beside the bed before turning to face Jim fully. Jim sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, away from Bones.

It was stupid and Jim knew it, but he couldn't stand to look at Bones so soon after that dream. He couldn't stop himself from seeing the Borg-Bones from his nightmare superimposed over his best friend's face.

Jim stiffened as he felt Bones' warm hand touch his shoulder, "Was it _that_ dream again?"

"Yeah," Jim shifted, brushing Bones' hand off.

He knew Bones wouldn't just let go, not when Jim was so obviously upset, but the doctor didn't get the chance to do anything. The klaxon started suddenly, interrupting Bones before he could touch Jim's shoulder again.

Jim stood, wincing as his scars pulled sharply, grabbed his pants and pulled them on.

"What's going on up there, Spock," Jim barked into his communicator as he pulled his pants closed.

"There is a Borg scout ship on the long range sensors, Captain," Ensign Crusher's voice was panicked as it crackled out of Jim's communicator. "They're coming for us. Oh God."

"We have picked up transmissions which indicate they are aware of our presents and are looking for us specifically, Captain." Spock's calm tone cut off Ensign Crusher's frightened babbling.

"Is Admiral Pike aware of the situation, Mr. Spock?" Jim asked as he walked around the dividing wall where the others were sitting up to look at him.

"He has, sir. However there is a problem with our connection to the T'Met, Captain." Spock's voice cut off as the ship rocked unexpectedly.

"What the hell was that," Bones had followed Jim out of the their shared bunk space, Joanna was crying and clinging to his hand.

"Borg! I need you down in Medical bay, this is going to be bad. Sulu, get to the bridge and help Spock, take the Helm if it looks like we need to run. I meet you there after I check out what the hell is happening in Engineering. Chehov, get Uhura and get the Comm. system back up, we need it NOW!" Jim waved a few of the ensigns to follow him, "You three are with me, they need help fixing whatever the hell went wrong. Everyone to Emergency stations!"

There was a chorus of "Yes, Sir!" as everyone, most of them still mostly undressed, filed out of the room.

Jim walked to the door and glanced back. Bones was convincing a panicked Jojo to stay with Yeoman Rand, who was going to the nearest school to take care of the kids.

"No, Daddy! NO!" Jim cringed as Jojo cried and clung to Bones desperately. He hated seeing her cry; she always tried to be so strong.

He had to turn way before he started to comfort the little girl; he had more important problems right them. He led the way into the plant-covered hall, the ensigns following him like baby ducks.

"Alright, you two get that Jefferies tube open. You" Jim pointed to the last ensign, who looked years too young to have been at the Academy, "Go around, and get everyone into a room and out of the halls."

Jim nodded as the very young ensign started herding the few people, who were still out in the middle of shift, out of the hall. The other two ensigns got the plant covered Jefferies tube door open and Jim crawled in; waving at them to follow.

Jim started sliding down the ladder. He controlled his decent with steady presser with his feet on both sides of the ladder. He ignored the blisters that were torn open on his palms as he slid. Jim swung off the ladder once he got to the engineering deck and started running along the hall as the ship shook again, nearly tripping him.

Scotty came barreling out the door just as Jim reached it, nearly knocking him over.

"Get me that cutter beam!" Scotty yelled over his shoulder as he bumped into Jim. "CAPTAIN!"

"What's the situation, Mr. Scott?" Jim asked, grabbing the older man's shoulder to stop himself from falling.

"We got the T'Met's transporters working, but some matter from the test barrel broke off and rematerialized inside the third power-coil connecting the ships." The older man steadied his captain before leading him down the hall. "It's locked and it crashes us together every time they try to detach the T'Met."

"Have you made contact with Pike since the Borg ship was detected?" Jim followed Scotty down the hall, waving at the ensigns to follow him.

"Aye, sir," Scotty brandished his hyperspanner wildly over his head, "It was garbled, but I got the gist of it. Admiral Pike said they still had enough of that toxin, the stuff they used in that Cube's regeneration alcove system, to shut down that scout ship! But they need to disconnect and cloak so they can get in transporter range."

"Alright," Jim grabbed the hyperspanner and pulled it out of Scotty's hand, "where is this power-coil?"

Scotty opened a diagonal Jefferies tube and pointed, "Two decks up and along the shaft to the right, but the Jefferies tube is a mite

small near the top. It'll be a tight squeeze."

Scotty waved at his barrel chest, "I don't think I'll fit."

"One of you," Jim glanced at the ensigns, neither of them looked like they knew what a hyperspanner was let a lone how to use one, and changed his orders midsentence, "get to the bridge and tell Spock what's going on down here."

One of the ensigns, a girl Jim didn't know, saluted then ran down the hall still in a night dress and barefooted.

"Come on Scotty." Jim called over his shoulder as he started climbing up the tube, "I know my way around a semi-transonic regulator. You can tell me what I need do."

"Aye, Captain." Scotty said something to the remaining ensign, but Jim couldn't hear it as he climbed. Pulling himself rung after rung up the shaft until his side and back were screaming in protest, but he pushed the pain to the back of his mind, ignoring it as best he could. Which was something he was pretty damn good at since he had so much practice in the last few years. And the massive amounts of adrenalin pounding through his veins helped.

The ship rocked again just as Jim got to the side tube.

"Fuck Me!" Jim glanced back to see blood pouring out of Scotty's nose where he had clearly slipped and hit it on the ladder.

"You okay there, Scotty?" Jim asked as he army crawled to the broken power-coil. Scotty was right; the tube was a very narrow. He found himself having to crawl half on his side to worm his way through.

"I'm fine, captain." Scotty's voice was muffled; he had probable plugged his nose some how. "You should see the power-coil above you."

Jim looked up, twisting awkwardly, to see the a bent panel, "Found it!"

"Good!" Jim felt a bit of metal on his ankle, "Here's the cutter beam, you'll need it to get that panel off."

The ship rocked again. This time Jim was close enough to the problem he heard the pistons in the power-coil snap as they locked and recoiled forcefully.

Jim twisted down, wiggling as he tried to pull the cutter closer. Once he had it he turned, or tried to he only managed to get half his body turned fully in the tight space, to the bent panel and started cutting it open.

The panel shook, raining tiny red-hot sparks down on Jim's bare chest, as it broke loose. He could barely feel the burn as the sparks seared into his chest over the fear that the Borg would get them before they could pull together some kind of defense.

"Hey Scotty?" Jim called as he pulled the bent panel down and forcing it into the tight space above his head, "Promise me something?"

"Aye, Captain?"

"Next time you see me without a shirt during a red alert kick me or something, Ok?"

"I hadn't noticed, sir." Scotty's voice was muffled with suppressed laughter and what sounded like a broken nose.

"Sure," Jim rolled his eyes and shifted to get closer to the power-coil. "I only have about two thousand scars and arguably the hottest body in the universe and you just didn't notice."

"Aye, sir! I was a wee bit distracted by the bloody plants all over the place I could scarcely find the tube access for all the green devils getting in the way."

Jim laughed, a half crazy sound born of desperation, "So your saying I'm not as distracting as plants?"

They bantered back and forth as Jim pulled out bits of broken machine out and tossed away. Jim could feel panic buzzing in the back of his head, but he pushed it down, forced himself to stay calm.

The Comm. link on his belt squeaked and flickered pointlessly as he worked. It was killing him; not knowing were the Borg were, if they had enough power to avoid direct attacks, if Pike had more to his plan, if Spock was ok… Jim _NEEDED_ Uhura to get the Comm. system up.

These panicked thoughts went around and around in his head as Jim pulled junk out of the power coil and bantered with Scotty until he thought he was going crazy. Suddenly the Comm. link beeped and all Jim's dream came true.

"Captain Kirk, Please respond." Spock's voice crackled through the static laden connection.

"Kirk here, what is going on up there Spock?" Jim shouted over the static and crashing of the power coil.

"We are executing basic evasive maneuvers, however the T'Met has sustained heavy damage. Any attempt at more complex movement might cause a hull breach in both ships." The half-Vulcan's tone was dangerously close to showing emotion openly.

Jim wiped the sweat from his face with his arm, "I know things are a little tight, but can you give me another four minuets. I think I have most of it fixed."

"We may have to blow the power coil if you can't repair it soon, Captain." Scotty called up, "It would make one hell of a mess, but it would free the T'Met real fast." Jim heard him mutter, "The blast might kill us all, but it better then assimilation."

"They are charging their main laser," A faint voice called through the Comm. link.

"Hold on, and get Chehov down to the transporter. Pike's team might need emergency evacuation."

The ship shook as Jim reached a bit of broken metal with his left hand, hyperspanner in his right hand. He pulled the last bits out and started repairing the power coil.

Suddenly there was a loud snap and the ship cart-wheeled wildly.

The ship rocked to a stop quickly.

Jim glanced around something was wrong, "Spock, status report!"

"Captain, the T'Met has disconnected and is clocking. We have sustained severe damage to the hull; casualty reports are coming in, no deaths so far. Your status Captain?"

"I'm fine. I think… I'm a little dizzy."

Something hot dripped onto Jim's face.

He looked up into the power coil where his hands where still holding onto the sides of the panel. The whole mechanism had broken free taking a chunk of the wall with it. There was an odd dark red liquid splattered over the panels. He tried to wipe some of it off before reliving it was blood. He blood. His blood was all over the walls and dripping down onto his face. He brought his hand to his face to wipe the blood away, but more just flowed out from where the side of his hand had been. His pinky finger, or what was left of it, hung at an impossible angle.

Then the pain came.

"I was wrong," Jim gasped, "Spock, I'm bleeding bad."

"Captain!" Scotty pulled him down the tube by his feet until it was wide enough for them to sit face to face. "Let me see."

Jim nodded vaguely, the pain and blood loss were making the world darken around him.

He tried to answer when Spock said something, but the words were faint and drifted away from him. The last thing Jim heard before he passed out was Scotty, Spock, and Pike's voices echoing away as his slipped into the darkness.

* * *

Thanks to everyone who is reading this and reviewing! I love you guys.

I know this chapter was supper late, but I've been sick a lot lately and it's hard for me to think strait with a fever so until I get better writing will be slow… Sorry.


	8. Chapter 7

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

This is just after Jim and Spock talk with T'Pau. It's a little time skip, but not the one that the stories named for…

* * *

Chapter 7

Spock walked calmly onto the bridge.

At lest he was outwardly calm. Inside was another matter entirely. He felt as if every instinct he had was screaming at him go back down to where he had left Ji- the Captain standing outside is his quarters. The look on the young Captain's face as he stood there, unmoving, had been so lost, almost devastated.

He walked calmly to the science station and sat down. He allowed his mind to wonder as he pulled up files on shift rotations and ship maintenance. There was nothing new or pressing.

Spock hadn't thought the talk they had had with T'Pau would upset the younger man so much. Logically, it shouldn't have. There was no logical reason for it to have done so.

He had been unable to stop himself from touching the golden human's hand lightly, just to check his emotional stability of course. It was nothing at all like the kiss he had stolen in the alcove. An action witch he was deeply ashamed of; he should have been able to resist the Captain's closeness.

This touch had been purely informational, really. Spock had brushed his fingers gently along the side of the younger man's hand and the wild human emotions had twisted up his arm cutting into him like razor wire.

Spock pushed his memories of the Captain's worry and fear to the side. He had work to do. Even if his dearest friend, he was not willing to admit to any deeper feelings, was in pain and nearly panicking, the needs of the many demanded he set aside feelings and focus, at the moment, on the _Jellyfish_.

"Mr. Crusher," Spock turned to the young ensign who was at the communications station, "I would like to hear the distress signal you identified earlier as well as any relevant information you might have on it."

"Yes sir," the ensign said, "It's still being sent, must be set to repeat, and we have gotten a little closer, but I still can't make out much more than '_Federation ship_' and '_in distress_'. And maybe something about a fish, but I don't know sir."

Spock nodded, dismissing the ensign from his thoughts as he listened to the recording as well as the new stronger signal that was being broadcast on the emergency channels.

Most of the signal was too broken to make out, but his sensitive Vulcan ears did pick up more than the Captain's had. It was undoubtedly his-own voice. To be more precise it was the voice of his older self.

But that too was impossible. His elder self had died evacuating the Vulcan colony during the Borg attack. He had been there, had shared a brief meld with the older half-Vulcan.

Memories of the others life still haunted him. Snippets and flashes of a life with the other universe's Jim that Spock would never have with his-own Captain.

Even without the constant danger of the Borg, it would be most illogical for him to choose a homosexual relationship when there were more female Vulcans than males. Humans had the opposite problem; giving their females little hope of same-sex relations while their homosexual males were more accepted. He had seen Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov kissing openly more than once.

He fought to push his thoughts aside, to be analyzed during his next solo meditation; it would not due to bring up such thoughts during group meditation, and focused on tracing the source of the signal.

Spock spent the next four point seven hours calculating the effects of gravity waves and stellar debris on the signal.

Once he was reasonably sure, 98.4% to be exact, of the _Jellyfish'_s location Spock leaned back and pulled his PADD out of his bag. He should to report to Captain Kirk. However, he glanced at the chronometer, the captain had not enough time to nest properly. Perhaps sending the report to Admiral Pike would, but no that was technically acting without orders and going over his superior's head. Both were absolutely out of the question.

Spock glanced around, trying to decide on the best course of action; which would not include waking the captain. Most of the crew was working diligently, with only a few looking worn out. Among them the most worn-looking was Lieutenant Ro, who was in the Command chair and had been on duty since the captain had left nearly seven hours ago.

Spock checked his PADD before standing and walking over to the big chair.

"I am relieving you Lieutenant," Spock said quietly, causing Ro to jump slightly.

"That's not necessary Commander," Ro said standing and coming to attention.

"It was not a offer, Lieutenant," Spock waved the young woman away, "You are clearly fatigued, and my records show you were to be relieved an hour ago. You are relieved."

"Yes, sir." Ro straitened her shirt before saluting, "I'll go find Tyler; bastard was supposed to pick me up of a date…" The last was said in an undertone Spock was sure he was not meant to hear.

"Indeed," Spock said as he sat down in the chair. He decided to send his report to Captain Kirk as a priority three non-urgent message. That would put it high on the list, but without a signal so it wouldn't disturb the captain's rest.

Spock wasn't sitting long before Ensign Crusher turned to him, "The _T'Met_ is hailing us, Commander."

"On screen."

"Hello Spock," Pike said as he appeared on the main viewer, "We just got a very odd distress signal. I'm wondering if you have anything on it. After all the _Enterprise_ has better sensors than we do."

Spock nodded, "I assume you are referring to the _Jellyfish_'s distress beacon."

"_Jellyfish_?" Pike asked, Spock noticed that the older man was not on the bridge of the _T'Met_. He appeared to be in his quarters as there were several people asleep in bunks behind him.

"It was a Vulcan prototype. It was destroyed during the Nero incident."

Pike frowned, "If it was destroyed during the Nero incident, how can it be out here? We're four sectors away from Earth and three from where Vulcan was."

"That is the question, Admiral." Spock lifted his PADD and tapped out a quick note, "Would you like my notes on the subject, Sir?"

"No," Pike rubbed one hand over his face, "Just tell me why I should care, other than the mystery of it."

"Certainly, Admiral," Spock shifted slightly, he didn't know how much Pike knew about his elder self, "The Jellyfish was designed as a transport vessel for a substance called Red Matter."

"Red Matter? That rings a bell…" Pike sat up a bit more; Spock's sharp ears caught a low grown from Pike's bedmate, as he or she was shifted away, "Wasn't that the stuff that Nero used to destroy Vulcan?"

"It is, Admiral," Spock shifted again, "but it is also a form of enormous potential energy, which could be, and was, devastating when used as a weapon. However, we cannot be sure the _Jellyfish_ is really there. The signal might be a trap or it could be only the distress beacon that survived the ship's destruction."

"But you don't think that, do you?" Pike asked, rubbing his face again.

"It is possible that the ship itself is there intact," Spock thought it best not to mention his elder self. "If that is the case then the Red Matter may still be intact as well."

"You think we should investigate." It was not a question so Spock did not answer. The older man sighed heavily, "Alright, I got a message from the _Essex_. They will meet us at the rendezvous point in a month, give or take a few weeks. We have time to investigate your ghost ship. Set a course to this _Jellyfish_ and we will see what we will see."

"Yes Sir." Spock saluted and the screen went back to showing the black of space and the stars flying past.

Spock turned to the ensign at the navigation station, "I will send you the approximant location, proceed with extreme caution."

Spock reached for the Comm button to call the Captain, but hesitated before touching it. Protocol demanded he inform the captain of their new destination, however his instincts demanded he let his exhausted friend, he was _not_ thinking of the younger man as a potential mate, rest until he was fully recovered.

"Commander! Borg chatter on the long range scanner," ensign Crusher called, sounding panicked, "They know we're here and are looking of us!"

"Red Alert!" Spock called hitting the call button, which sparked sending a shower of red-hot particles raining down his leg. The lights flashed once, but the klaxon didn't sound.

Pike's face suddenly appeared on the main view screen, "Spock, I thought…"

"Engineering here," Mr. Scott's voice interrupted the confused Admiral, "What do you need."

Spock did not care what malfunction had caused this sudden meeting, "There is a Borg ship on long range scanner, they know we are here and they will find us; any ideas gentlemen? Ensign Lon get the alert working."

"What size of ship?" Pike asked as he got out of bed and pulling his pants and shirt on.

"Ensign Crusher?" Spock turned to the young man, who looked very pale.

"I… It's…" the ensign was typing wildly on the control panel, "I…"

Spock stood and walked over to the scanner station, "It's a scout ship, average size, standard tractor beam and laser cutter."

"Fine," Pike said pulling a plasma rifle from somewhere off screen, "we still have some of the toxin we used on that Cube. Just disconnect us and we'll cloak, seek in plant it, and get out."

"That plan is less than ideal, but we have little choice. Disengage the connecting beams," Spock commanded as he walked back to the big chair. He felt a sudden twinge of pain and glanced down as he sat. He leg was bleeding where the sparks had burned through his pants. The burns were small, but a few looked deep. He pushed the pain down. There would be time to mend it later.

Suddenly the klaxon rang out. Ensign Lon pulled herself out from under a panel, grinning widely, "I fixed the alert, Commander!"

"Good work, Ensign." Spock nodded.

"Commander! We got a problem disconnect…" Scotty's voice was cut off suddenly.

"What's going on up there, Spock," The Captain's voice barked from the Comm link.

"There is a Borg scout ship on the long range sensors, Captain," Ensign Crusher babbled wildly "They're coming for us. Oh God."

Spock dashed to the Comm station and pulled the panicking ensign away, "We have picked up transmissions which indicate they are aware of our presents and are looking for us specifically, Captain."

"Is Admiral Pike aware of the situation, Mr. Spock?" Jim asked; Spock thought he sounded more rested, but there was a sharpness in his voice that Spock didn't think came from the Borg attack.

Spock glanced at the main screen where Pike was waving and shouting though there was no sound.

"He is, sir. However there is a problem with our connection to the T'Met, Captain," the ship rocked unexpectedly. Spock held himself up, but a few others fell or were tossed from their chairs.

"Battle Stations!" Spock called as he walked back to the big chair, "The Borg will very probably find us quickly."

The crew pulled themselves up, some off the floor others less literally, and returned to their stations. Soon reports were flying as the makeshift bridge crew started pulling things together.

"Main Comm system is completely fried! Secondary systems also damaged!"

"Main Navigation is off line! Switching to manual."

"Shields at 40%! Main power grid holding at 30%; secondary power grid non-functional! There's something wrong in one of the power coils, it's not responding."

Suddenly the turbolift doors slid open and Sulu, Chehov, and Uhura stepped out. None of them were fully dressed; Sulu in pajama pants, Chehov in the matching shirt and boxers, and Uhura in a short nightdress and fuzzy slippers.

"Captain's going down to help Scotty." Sulu called to Spock as he nudged the ensign out of the pilot's seat and slipping in. "Manual control functioning fully. How close is the Borg ship?"

"Scanners are damaged," the ensign in the navigation seat said Spock noticed the younger ensign looking eagerly a Chehov.

The Russian boy grinned apologetically at the other before turning to Spock, "Se Kaptain asked me to help get the Comm system back up."

"Yes he did and we have to do that, come on Pavel," Uhura pulled he over the Communication station, "How bad is my baby?"

Uhura glared at Spock as she was fully briefed, as if to ask why he had let the panicking ensign near her beloved Comm system.

Spock sighed slightly. He was relieved that the main crew was here, but he had a bad feeling about Ji-the Captain. He was not the most coordinated human and Spock was concerned for him.

"Very well, we will trust the Captain and hold the Borg off until he arrives," Spock turned to the crew. The determined looks he got back told him that they too were willing to trust the Captain's luck and their own skill.

Spock sat down in the command chair as the ship rocked, "Evasive maneuvers Mr. Sulu."

* * *

Sorry for the slow updates… I'm feeling better! I've been better for a while, but getting sick messes with my sleep patterns and it takes me a lot longer to get a good night's sleep. But I hope to get the next chapter up next week.


	9. Chapter 8

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 8

Jim woke up slowly. His head was hollow and full of a misty fug that made thinking impossible. He was so warm and comfortable. Mostly comfortable at lest. There was an odd feeling in his chest and a sort of tightness in his throat that was hard to ignore.

He wanted to ignore it. He wanted to roll over and curl into Bones' warm back and sleep. But he couldn't move. He couldn't summon the energy to move.

Jim felt himself drifting, floating sideways. It felt nice. As he floated the world started to grow brighter. He hadn't even noticed it was dark until the light grew so bright he had to squeeze his eyes more firmly closed. He wanted cover his eyes, but he couldn't move his hands.

That's when it came back to him. He hand. It was bleeding. He had hurt himself repairing the power coil; the power coil that was holding the _T'Met_ and the _Enterprise_ together with a Borg ship tracking them.

Jim started struggling; fighting to wake up, to move. He had to talk to Spock! He had to make sure he was ok. He had to know where the Borg where. What they were doing to escape.

Someone must have noticed his struggle because he felt a soft hand over his eyes blocking the light.

"It's alright Captain," a kind female voice said softly, "I'll get the doctor. Just try to stay calm."

The hand moved away and Jim tried to open his eyes, but it was too bright, so bright it felt like it was going to blind him.

"Doctor McCoy! The Captain is awake!"

Jim felt himself floating again. The misty feeling in his head was so thick it starting to get hard to breathe.

"Hey, clam down kid," Bones' familiar voice soothed as his warm hand brushed Jim's hair away from his face, "the ship's safe. Everyone is safe. Just relax and let me take care of you, damn it."

The doctor's gruff cursing clamed Jim more than his soothing words or the warm fingers carding through his hair ever could.

"That's the way," Bones soothed, "Don't fight the breathing tube. You've had one before, hell Jim, you had them so often I wonder how you breathe without it."

Jim tried to nod, as he let the breathing tube pump air into his chest, but he was so tired.

"That's a good Captain," Bones said patting Jim's hair softly, "and before you ask; No I'm not taking the tube out, you still need it."

Jim wanted to argue, but he felt a hypo being pressed to his neck. A second latter the world faded into the mist and he faded with it.

~~~~~~~ZzZ~~~~~~

The next time Jim woke up it was to the sound of Bones cursing loudly.

"NOT IMPORTANT? YOU NEARLY BLED A RIVER WALKING HERE!"

Whoever Bones was yelling at was to quite for Jim to hear. He felt bad for whoever it was; Bones was really laying into them. He lay there, in the dark and the calm listening to Bones rant.

"Do you know how _fast_ burns can get infected? What the hell were you thinking? You should have called for a med team as soon as it happened!"

A brief silence as whoever it was answered. Whatever they said must have pissed Bones off because there was a lot of loud bangs and cursing.

"I DON"T CARE! PANTS OFF AND GET ON THE GOD DAMN TABLE!"

The last thing Jim heard before falling asleep again was Bones mumbling about a pointy-eared hobgoblin.

~~~~~~ZzZ~~~~~~

Jim woke up from time to time. It was always dark and quite. Sometimes there would be light off to his right, but he was too tired to look at it and he didn't really want to anyway because it made his eyes hurt.

The mist in his head was still clouding his thoughts, but he was warm and comfortable so it didn't bother him too much. After a while he started to get bored sleeping all the time, but then he would fall asleep again.

~~~~~~ZzZ~~~~~~

Jim woke up slowly. Even though the misty fog was still clouding his thoughts he knew he was awake for good this time. No more drifting off. He started fighting the respirator, trying to breathe against its pattern and set off an alarm.

It worked. As soon as he started the light to his right turned on and he drifted toward it. The light got brighter until it was almost blinding again.

"Hey there kid," Bones said and Jim felt the older man's hand on his forehead, "the scanners say you could use another two days of bed rest, but I don't think you're going to let that happen now are you?"

Jim shook his head slightly. He didn't know how long he had been out, but it was too long as far as he was concerned.

"All right, but you play by my rules," Bones' tone was harsh, his 'you are NOT going to argue with me' voice.

Jim nodded, his head was starting to hurt because of the bright lights and there was an odd tingling in his skin.

"I'm going to take the tube out. You know the drill, breathe out as hard as you can. " Jim felt tape being pulled off his face. A second later the tube moved and he exhaled as hard as he could as the tube slid up his throat and out his mouth.

He coughed a few times before he tried to speak. At first his voice wouldn't come out, but he coughed a bit more and managed to rasp, "Damn Bones, could you turn down the lights. You're blinding me here."

"Sorry kid, but that's not the lights, they're already at 15%." Bones patted Jim's face over his eyes and he realized suddenly that his eyes were typed shut. "I had to put you on metorapan as it's the only pain killer we have that won't kill you, but it dose have a few the nasty side-effects one of which is happens to be that your eyes become hypersensitive to light. You're going to more or less blind until the metorapan wears off."

Jim groaned and tried to cover his eyes, but his hands wouldn't move. He tried his legs, but again he couldn't move.

Bones must have seen what he was doing because he said, "Don't worry, you're just strapped down. I'll untie you in a minute. First you need a few ground rules."

"Bones!" Jim moaned hoarsely, his throat was so sore it was hard to talk, "I'll be good, just let me up."

"Yeah right," Bones huffed, "I've heard that one before. But you will follow the rule this time or I'm going to hypo you into next week. Understood?"

"Understood," Jim sighed, he would do just about anything to get up and walk around a bit. He felt like he'd been asleep for weeks. "By the way how long have I been out?"

"About two weeks," Bones said carelessly.

"And how long before the metorapan wears off?" Jim asked; wanting to cover his eyes, it was so bright!

"About two weeks."

"WHAT?" Jim gaped.

"You still need the pain killer more than you need to see," Bones said soothingly, "trust me Jim. You're hurt pretty bad."

"Are you planning on telling me how bad or are you going to make me guess?"

Jim heard Bones sigh and felt the older man brush his hair back, "I'll right, just hold on a second and I'll get you a blindfold."

Jim felt Bones leave, but he was back quickly. He felt Bones lift his head and rap a thin bit of cloth over his eyes. He sighed as the light, that horrible blinding light, was blocked out and the headache that it caused started to ease.

"There," Bones said, tying off the blindfold, "That's rule number two don't touch the blindfold."

Jim nodded, "Ok, that's easy. But if that's number two what, pray tell, is rule number one?"

"Rule number one is this: You are not, under in circumstances or for any reason, to touch your left hand. Don't rub it. Don't kiss it. Don't do anything! Think you can handle that?"

Jim nodded, "Can I get up now?"

He heard Bones sigh again, but then feel the straps holding him down loosen, "Just sit up slowly and don't use your left arm. Here let me help."

Jim let his friend lift him until he was sitting on the edge of the bio-bed, the blankets that had been covering him slid down until they were pooled around his hips; he even let Bones arrange his left arm until some sort of sling. It didn't seem necessary, but he let him do it. At lest sitting up was helping to get rid of the misty feeling in his head.

"I know I was bleeding pretty bad, but you make it sound like my hand is about to fall off. It's been two weeks and doesn't hurt…" Jim started to complain, but Bones cut him off before he could say more.

"It doesn't hurt because I've been pumping enough metorapan into you to numb a blue whale. Trust me kid, if it weren't of the pain killers you'd be hurting like hell."

"That would explain why I'm having a hard time feeling my skin, but you said I was out for two weeks. Surely I'm all healed up by now, right?"

"I wish you were," Jim felt Bones sit down beside him and rap one arm around his waist, "You remember that you were bleeding right?"

Jim nodded, how could he forget. There had been so much of it. Covering the power coil and the panels like red paint.

"Do you remember Scotty bleeding too?"

"Yeah, he slipped. Might have broken his nose." Jim said, "What dose that have to do with it?"

"Yeah, it wasn't much but with your immune system, his slight viral infection and a major fuck up by one of the emergency medics… well… Just let me tell the story from the top ok?"

"Fine," Jim wanted to roll his eyes, but he knew the older man wouldn't see it through the blindfold, "Just get on with it, you've been stalling."

"I know, sorry," Bones squeezed him gently, "Alright."

Jim recognized Bones' tone as his 'I'm a Doctor and this is why you can't have any fun' voice.

"When I got to you, you were dead. The power coil you were repairing broke free of the wall and crushed the side of your left hand. Most of the area directly under your pinky finger was ripped away. The finger itself was held on by a tiny bit of skin and muscle, but it was impossible to reattach, as the fifth metacarpal bone was gone. You are also missing parts of the Carpal bones; specifically bits of your hamate, triquetrum, and pisiform are gone. In addition to all the bone and muscle damage your ulnar artery was ruptured. Scotty had wrapped your hand in the shirt he had bled on, which both saved your life and exposed you to a viral infection he was carrying."

Jim shifted as he made a mental note to thank Scotty as soon as he got out of med-bay. But he would have to think of a gift later as Bones was still talking.

"The medic that got to you before I did gave you a stimulant that should have increased your body's blood production. But because it was you and not someone with a normal immune system, you had a severe allergic reaction. That's about the time I got to you and you had been technically dead for a few seconds. I injected you with a tri-oxy compounded and restarted your heart with a little good old CPR; which cracked a few of your ribs, sorry about that. Once your heart was beating the tri-oxy gave you enough oxygen that it didn't matter you weren't breathing. We got you into surgery, stoped you bleeding to death, plugged you into the respirator, and got your immune system under control. With all that going on your body found a new level of shock to go into and you've been healing very slowly."

Jim felt Bones take a long breath and sigh, "Even with the dermal regenerator the nerve damage is permanent and will probably cause you pain for the rest of your life."

He shifted so he could lean his head on the older man's shoulder, "so what you're saying is lost a finger, nearly bled to death, caught a cold, went into anaphylactic shock, and died all in what three/four minutes?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it." Bones laughed.

"What took you so long?" Jim scolded teasingly. "The Dr. Leonard 'Am a Badass' McCoy I knew at the academy could run through a full Borg assault in less than two minutes. You must be getting old."

"Watch it kid," Bones warned, "I still have all the hypos and you can't leave sick bay with out your baby sitter."

"Bones, I don't need a baby sitter," Jim whined, his voice cracking from the strain of talking so much so soon after the breathing tube was removed.

"Oh, yes you do," Bones said slipping off the bed, "That's rule number three. No going out without either Spock or me until your eyes are better. Sound far?"

"Well if it's you and Spock I think I can handle having a baby sitter for a little bit." Jim grinned; he would like nothing more than to have Spock all to himself for play-dates. "You said I'll be blind for the next two weeks?"

"More or less, it all depends on how quickly your hand heals, but so far that hasn't been very fast."

Jim felt Bone gently pull his arm from the sling; "I'll give this a look see, before Spock gets here."

He nodded letting the older man carefully unwrap the bandages that, thanks to the metorapan, he couldn't feel. In fact he couldn't feel much of anything; not his hand, not his clothes, only the warmth of Bones hands and the slight pressure as the older man held and lifted his arm.

"Hey, Bones?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you purring?"

"No," Bones laughed, "That's another side effect of the metorapan. It can cause mild hallucinations. Though most people only get a song stuck in their head. It's not unheard of for people to hear things that they care deeply about, like a loved one saying their name or a child laughing. Do you love cats, Jim?"

"Not really," Jim frowned, it didn't sound like a cat purring, it was too loud and deep for a house cat. "Though I think I hear


	10. Chapter 9

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 9

Purring. It wasn't so loud that he couldn't hear over it, but it was much louder than even the old tomcat that that lived in his family's barn could have been. Jim let himself get lost in trying to remember where he had heard that Purring before. He had heard it not to long ago…a dream maybe or a daydream?

"FUCK!" Jim yelled as he was torn from his thoughts by a red-hot bolt of pain that cut through his hand. Every thought and half-formed idea was ripped away as the pain crashed through him and he was left dizzy and gagging.

"Oh God!" There was the hiss of a hypo as a pair of cool hands held him up.

"Captain!" The purring was louder.

Jim was lost in the pain, and the mist, and the purring, and the dark.

Spock walked into Med-bay in time to see the Captain fall off the Bio-bed writhing in pain.

He dashed to where Doctor McCoy was kneeling over the Captain's twitching form and pressing a hypo into his neck. Spock lifted the Captain's head, gently checking for any injury, before shifting to cradle the younger man in his arms and lifting him onto the Bio-bed. Once his Captain was resting safely in the bed Spock shifted his grip so he was supporting the younger man's head and shoulders, but he didn't let go.

"What happened?" Spock's voice was harsher then he had intended, so much so that McCoy looked startled by emotion in it.

"I was checking his wound, pulling the old bandages off. I must have pull a bit of scab loose. God, Jim. I'm sorry. Shit."

"How much of his wound have you reopened?" Spock forced his voice into a strained calm, which was as close to his normal tone as he could manage.

"I don't know," McCoy barked at him, "just hold him still."

Spock nodded, holding his Captain gently. His dearest friend was limp, but he could feel the warmth radiating off the human's skin. It wasn't the gentle warmth Spock remembered from his stolen kisses, but a brutal feverish heat like the Vulcan sun at noon. Spock let himself really look at the Captain of the first time since he had taken temporary command. There was a line of vomit trickling from the Captain's mouth, which Spock wiped away with the edge of his sleeve, and a thin bit of black cloth rapped around his eyes.

"It's not so bad," McCoy's voice broke into Spock's observations. "I only pulled a tiny bit, only a few centimeters. Of course to Jim it must have felt like I hacked into him with a knife; he nerves are so sensitive right now."

"Indeed?" Spock glanced at the hand the doctor was examining then stared unable to pull his eyes away. He had been told about the incident, had read the reports, but nothing prepared him for the reality of his Captain's injury. Three fingers, he only had three fingers and a thumb and a horrible emptiness where his fourth finger should have been. The wound itself was cleanly sewn closed with only a thin line of scabs running down the center, but the skin around the scabs was an unhealthy pink and there were angry red lines twisting down his wrist like vines.

"It's not as bad as it looks," the doctor must have noticed Spock's gaze.

Spock glanced away from the Captain and raised an eyebrow at the doctor, "It looks infected."

"Well, what do you want me to do," McCoy glared at him crossly, before turning his attention back to the medial tricorder in his hand, "I can either treat the virus or the bacteria. His body is to weak to handle both medications at the same time."

"So you treat the virus and allow his hand to suffer further damage?"

"No," this time he didn't look away from his scans, "I have the bacteria contained, and if he were stronger, I would use the high range dermal regenerator. But as it stands even the standard regenerator puts to much strain in his system."

"If he is too weak for a regenerator why are you releasing him?" Spock shifted the Captain slightly so the doctor could see the wound more easily.

"I'm not releasing him, I'm moving him to Med-bay Three," McCoy was so focused on his task that he didn't even sound grumpy at having to explain, "Jim is strong enough now to eat and breath on his own as well as spend a little time awake. The more of those he does the stronger he'll get and the faster I'll be able to fix this," he waved at the Captain's mutilated hand, "mess."

Spock watched as the doctor sprayed a fine mist over the Captain's hand before activating a small dermal regenerator on it lowest setting, its light only the palest blue. McCoy gently worked over the wound until it was a soft natural pink and the red lines had softened and withdrawn so they were no more than a slightly darker pink on his Captain's golden skin.

"Spock," McCoy looked at him as if he had grown a second head, "are you purring?"

Spock felt his ears heat in a half-controlled blush, "It is a natural physiological reaction."

"Oh really?" the doctor looked like he was enjoying Spock discomfort, "reaction to what?"

_It is to soothe a mate_ Spock's mind answered before he could push the rebellious thought away. Spock took a deep breathe before saying, with as much dignity as he could muster, "To the distress of a close friend or family member, of course."

"Sure," McCoy grinned, "but which is Jim to you? Hmm?"

Spock didn't answer.

Doctor McCoy grinned wider as he worked over Jim's hand, rapping it in fresh bandages and immobilizing it from fingertip to elbow in a brace.

Jim woke up feeling sick and dizzy, but oddly numb.

"Bones?" His voice was low and cracked, "What the hell did you do to me?"

"Sorry kid," Jim felt the a light hand brush his hair off his face, "I pulled a little bit of scab, but you're fine. And more good news; your babysitter is here!"

"Babysitter?" Jim asked, confused, before he remembered. "Spock? When'd you get here?"

"I arrived shortly after you fell off the Bio-bed, Captain." Spock's voice was far to close, as close as if Spock were holding him.

"On the bright side," Bones in an almost obscenely cheerful tone, "I'm off duty in three minutes, then I get to go see my little girl and you get to be Spock's problem!"

"Yeah…" Jim moaned as someone, probably Spock, lifted him until he was sitting on the edge of the bed again and held him there, "You're not going to cut my hand open again are you?"

The sound of door opening as Bones' shift replacement came in covered Jim's mumbled, " Crazy sadistic doctor."

Bones laughed, "Nope! I'm free! Oh yeah, here Spock, you better take this before I forget. It's a list of the things Jim is allowed to do and his food card. And, if you wouldn't mind, Jim sleeps better if he has someone to cuddle with so just sleep with him tonight. Thanks!"

"Bones!" Jim called as indignantly as he could with his hoarse voice, but the older man just laughed harder as the door closed behind him.

There was a long silence before Spock shifted, which Jim felt despite his numb skin.

"According to your schedule you are allowed up to five minutes of exercise before dinner. Would you like to take a walk, Captain?"

Jim sighed but nodded; turning his blindfolded face you where he thought Spock's might be, "Yeah, a short one. I'm weak as a kitten."

Jim waited, but Spock didn't ask, "Got that one did you?"

"Sehlat kittens are born blind, deaf, and with almost no muscular control." Spock said lightly, "They are completely reliant on others for their care."

"So I'm a sehlat kitten now, am I?" Jim asked laughing. "I hope I don't grow six inch fangs next."

"That would be most unlikely, Sir." Spock said lightly. Jim felt himself being lifted off the Bio-bed and held up as he tried to get his feet under him.

"Thanks," Jim finely found his balance, not the easiest thing to do when he could barely feel his legs. "You might want to keep a hand on me I don't know how long." He slipped nearly falling before Spock caught him and held him up with an arm around him waist. Jim noticed Spock was very careful not to touch the sling strapping his arm across his chest

"That is very good advise, Captain." Jim felt Spock shift his good arm so it lay across the taller man's shoulder. "Shall we proceed, Sir?"

"Yeah, where are we going?"

"I am to take you to Med-bay Three, Captain." Spock's answer was quiet, half-soothing and half-encouraging as they started walking very slowly out of Med-bay One.

"That's good to know, but I meant the ship Spock. Where are we going? I've been out for two weeks; we should have reached the rendezvous point days ago. What's going on? And what happened with that Borg scout ship?"

Jim was trying very hard to breathe slowly and evenly, but talking so much while moving was not helping his sore lungs in the lightest. He found he was breathing through his mouth by the time they got to the door. Once they were out in the hall Jim was gasping and had to stop.

Spock let Jim lean on him as he made his report, "The T'Met's cloaking device activated once the ships were disconnected and they were able to plant the toxin. Two members of the boarding party were killed, however the other five survived with only minor injuries. I had informed Admiral Pike of the _Jellyfish's_ distress beacon, prior to the Borg scout's appearance, and he agreed to investigate. After we escaped the Borg we spent nine days in orbit around a large asteroid as repairs were done to both the _Enterprise_ and the _T'Met_. We have spent the last five days traveling to the source of the beacon. There have been Borg sighted in that time, but no confrontations were necessary."

Jim nodded and wave for them to continue walking, "Great, so we're going to see the great and powerful _Jellyfish_? Who's got the Conn?"

"Admiral Pike has made me acting Captain, however Mr. Sulu is currently on duty."

Jim nodded; he didn't have the breath to spare talking now that they were moving again. Spock seemed to understand because he helped Jim walk in silence. It wasn't a long walk from Med-bay One to Med-bay Three, in fact they are directly across the hall from one another, but Jim was kicking himself for being so weak. He was James T. Kirk! He had single handedly won the trust of the surviving Klingons by Right of Combat! He shouldn't need to stop in the middle of the hall to rest. But even as he was thinking it he knew he would have to sit down, or better yet lay down, before he collapsed.

Jim felt Spock leading him through a door and across a room. He sat down; well he was put down, set in place like a doll. Spock even rested his hands on Jim's shoulders for a minute as if to spot him from toppling over, "Please wait here, Captain. I must ask which bed is to be yours."

Then Spock walked away. Jim counted the soft footsteps, before letting he head fall back and letting himself breathe. The dizziness was still there, as was the numb tingling felling in his skin, and of courses he couldn't see, but it was still good to get out of the main sick bay. It didn't matter what Bones said, that room always smelled like disinfectant and pain to Jim.

"Captain?" Spock's voice jolted Jim awake. He had been drifting off without even noticing.

"I'm up. I'm awake." Jim sat up straighter, fumbling a bit when his left hand wouldn't move from were it was strapped to his chest.

"Not overly convincing, Captain." Spock's voice was low, but there was a gentle tone under his normal stiffness. "You should eat before resting, Captain."

"All right," Jim lifted his hand and Spock took it, lifting him from the chair and rapped his arm around the younger man's waist.

"It's not far, is it?" Jim hated having to ask, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Not at all," Spock's breath brushed over Jim's ear making him shiver, "I already have the sheets turned down and the night nurse is bringing your dinner."

"Sounds cozy," Jim yawned, "What time is it?"

"23:49, Captain." Spock shifted Jim, turning him and gently lowering him onto a low bed. He even lifted Jim's legs and slid them onto the bed for him, which was embarrassing but helpful as the short walk had taken away what little feeling he had in his feet and replaced it with cold stiffness.

"Here," a sullen voice Jim didn't know interrupted them. There was a clatter of metal on metal. Then the voice retreated mumbling huffily about 'the middle of the night' and 'was having a good dream'.

"Yeah, dinner." Jim intoned grumpily as he lay back onto his pillows. He couldn't stomach the idea of eating any of the bland gruel that had been the only option for so long.

"I believe you will be pleasantly surprised, Captain." There was a light almost giddy tone to Spock's voice that intrigued him straightaway. "Open your mouth."

"You are not going you feed me!" Jim let all his surprise seep into his tone.

"Captain, you are weak, blind, and unable to use one of your hands," Jim hadn't heard that tone since the _Kobayashi Maru_, it was the one that sounded like he was explaining that one plus one is two to cranky two year olds, "I am most certainly more capable of feeding you at this time than you are. Therefore, I will be feeding you. Open your mouth."

Jim thought about arguing, but he was tired and there had been something in Spock's tone earlier. It almost sounded like Spock was excited about this for some reason. His decision to let Spock feed him had nothing to do with Jim's fantasy of having Spock as his personal maid… That was the farthest thing from his mind as he opened his mouth and let the older man pop something in.

He didn't understand. Spock had put something in his mouth, but it wasn't a spoonful of gruel or one of the hard biscuits, which where just the gruel again only dehydrated and molded into bars. What ever this was, it was a small round thing, soft and smooth, but with a tiny ruff spot on one side. Jim rolled it around him mouth a bit. It didn't taste like much, but there was a flavor there; something that made Jim think about summertime on Earth.

"You have to chew, Captain," if Vulcans could laugh, Jim was sure Spock would be rolling on the floor laughing at him.

Jim bit the little ball, crushing it. It gave a bit before splitting open and spilling out a gush of sweet-tangy juice. Jim moaned in ecstasy. He hadn't tasted anything this good in years! Forget summertime, this was heaven! He chewed slowly, savoring the flavor, before finely swallowing.

"God Spock!" Jim gasped, "Where the hell did you get a tomato?"

"It part of your rations, Captain," Spock sounded gleeful, he had obviously been expecting Jim's reaction. "You will receive a serving of fruit and two forms of leafly greens a day until you are fully healed. Today's rations happen to be cherry tomatoes, spinach, and cabbage."

"Shut up and feed me, Spock!"

* * *

AN: Sorry for the abrupt cut off last time. My sleep patterns are pretty messed up, which helps my writing a bit because I write a lot more, but hurts it because I ramble so much… there was a lot more to the last chapter that I had to cut because it didn't make any damn sense. Sorry.


	11. Chapter 10

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it. Also this is very AU, but it will take me awhile to get to stuff. Sorry.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 10

Jim was bored out of his brilliant and agile mind. He had been in Med-bay Three for a few days and he was going crazy. He needed to be doing something! He was starting to feel completely pointless!

Spock and Bones had been taking turns watching him; making sure he didn't do anything stupid. When they were both on duty Bones would send one of the bridged crew to stay with him. Sulu and Chekov had stayed for a bit, but he could tell they were dead tired from working double shifts and they left as soon as Spock had shown up. The others had all stopped in, but no one stayed long. They had things they needed to do, while he just lay around eating and sleeping. If he was really determined he might wheedle Spock into helping him walk across the hall and back.

"Captain?" Spock's voice pulled Jim from his morbid self-pity.

"Hey, what's happening?" Jim's voice was listless, but he couldn't seem to care. He was useless and would continue to be useless until Bones decided he was healthy.

"I have modified your PADD. It will transmit all written data to this," he handed Jim a small metal thing. Jim turned the object over in his hands; it was thin and light, about the size of one of his old paper books, with cool metal on three sides. The fourth side was an odd plastic that gave a little under his touch. The feel of the thing was familiar, but his memory of it was so old he couldn't place it. He sat up slowly, Spock helping by putting pillows behind him to prop him up, and ran his hand over the plastic screen again.

Jim felt Spock's cool hand brush over his as he explained, "This is a text to Braille translator. Doctor McCoy told me you are fluent in many forms of standard and non-standard tactile language, Captain."

Jim grinned, "Yeah! I learned Braille from my brother Sam. He bought me a Braille PADD when I was five; thought the challenge would do me good, but mostly used it to read a night or when…" Jim trailed off, not wanting to relive the dark hours he had spent in the closet when Sam and Frank fought or worse… Jim pulled the dark thoughts away as he let his fingers dance over the screen, "I'm a bit surprised that Bones is just going to let me have this though. I thought he wanted me to sleep myself to death."

Jim felt the side of his bed dip down as Spock sat, "Doctor McCoy is not going to 'just let you have this'. He has instructed me to take it away at your 'bedtime' and for meals."

Jim huffed, still grinning, as he turned the translator around in his good hand. "Hey Spock, where's the power button?"

Spock's cool hands brushed over his as he took the translator. Jim felt a faint thrill of energy where Spock touched. There was a click.

"It should be fully functional, Captain." Jim felt the PADD as it was set on his lap.

"Thanks Spock!" Jim let his fingers dance over the translator where it was attached to his PADD. It had been years since he had read anything in Braille; it would take a bit for him to get used with the controls, "Are you staying for cuddles tonight, Mr. Spock?"

"I will indeed, Captain." Jim grinned. It had become their private joke after Bones had asked Spock to cuddle with Jim to help him sleep. The first night in Med-bay Three had been a little awkward, at lest for Jim as he wasn't sure if Spock _would_ cuddle with him and if he did… well wet dreams and touch telepaths don't mix well. Spock had taken to meditating while sitting on the edge of Jim's bed.

Jim felt Spock sift closer, settling more on the bed, until he could feel the cool Vulcan back along the length of his leg. Jim shifted, half turning, so more of his legs and part of his stomach was touching Spock's wonderful chill body. Jim would never admit it, but having Spock there as he slept was deeply comforting and did help him sleep.

"Would you like to go over the ship wide reports before dinner, Captain?" Spock's voice rumbled sending vibrations through his legs.

"Sure!" Jim grinned, as Spock's massage appeared as raised patterns under his fingers.

They worked, Jim typing more slowly than he liked, for several hours chatting amiably about different crew members and shift rotations. Eventually Jim asked how the Vulcans were doing in their new group meditation sessions.

"The sessions are helping greatly, Captain." Spock shifted, taking the PADD from under Jim's hand and pulling the blanket up around the younger man's shoulders, "However, you may need to mediate a new peace treaty between the Vulcans, the Andorians, and the Tellarites once you have fully recovered."

"I knew the Tellarites would be upset, but when are they not upset," Jim said, he didn't fight when his PADD was taken away. He was hungry and tired, but satisfied that he had at lest been of some help to Spock. He had even found a few weak spots in their security system that would need to be reinforced by secondary programs; that would give his something to useful do.

"And the Andorians are siding with the Tellarites in the belief that you are behaving preferentially toward the Vulcans." Spock said, his voice was low but there was a hint of irony as he said, "They have yet to bring their complaints to me, however."

Jim hummed lightly, "I'll see what I can do."

"Once you are fully recovered, Captain."

"That'll still be a week or two," Bones' voice cut in startling Jim, who hadn't heard the older man approach.

"Bones! " Jim grinned as he felt his bed shift and bounce as Bones lay down behind him.

"God kid! You smell terrible. When was the last time you had a sonic?"

Jim laughed as he lifted his good arm and leaned toward him, trying to force his armpit into the other man's face, "I don't know. When was the last time you gave me a sponge bath?"

Bones gagged, pushing Jim away and into Spock's back, "Sorry Spock."

"Not at all, Captain." Spock's voice was calm, but Jim felt him shift away from were Jim was pressed against him.

"No wonder you stink," Bones said, pushing him onto his back, "It's been days! Here, let me have a look at your hand."

Jim groaned, but let Bones pull him around.

"How's the pain?" Bones asked, his voice taking on a distinctly doctor-ish tone.

"Other than a little pressure I'm not feeling much of anything," Jim shifted until he was flat on his back as Bones twisted his left hand back and forth, pulling the bandages off and examining the wound.

"You're healing well," Bones said as he pressed something into palm of Jim's hand, which stung horribly.

"WHAT THE FUCK! Bones that _hurts_!" Jim barked as he tried to pull his hand back, away from the sudden burning pain that was spreading through his hand and down his arm like lava under his skin.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Bones' voice didn't sound even remotely apologetic, to Jim he sounded damn near gleeful. "That burning feeling twisting through your veins is an antibiotic, which you are now strong enough to take. So congratulations! You will get two of these a day, for the next month or so, which will also help desensitize your nerves! _AND_ your skin is closed up enough that a sonic shower shouldn't bother it too much, as long as you keep it out of the main jets."

"I hate you," Jim shuttered trying to pull his hand away from Bones' firm grasp.

"Spock! Hold him while I re-bandage this," a pair of cool hands grabbed Jim's arms and held them over his chest.

"Calm down damn it!" There was a hissing sound and a cool mist covered Jim's hand, helping to cool the terrible burning but not much. Jim focused all his attention on Spock's cool hands where they gripped his arms.

Several minutes passed as Jim forces all his thoughts on the delicious chill of Spock's hands and on kicking Bones ass for not warning him. He always did that! Bones never seemed willing to just stop and warn him before he did something painful; the crazy sadistic bastard.

Spock's mind seemed to be following the same lines as he asked, "Why did you not warn the Captain that the antibiotic would be painful?"

"I know him too well," Bones answered distractedly, Jim imagined it was difficult to rap the bandages with his twitching around, "If I warn Jim I'm going to do something he either runs away or make me feel so damn guilty I can't do whatever it is. This way he's piss at me, but he's letting me fix him up. And he never stays mad long; though he might kick me out of bed for a bit."

"Damn right I will!" Jim growled, "You aren't getting anywhere near my glorious body for a month, bastard!"

"Yeah, yeah." Bones patted Jim on the head condescendingly, "I'll miss your firm pecks and toned ass. Come on! Who in their right mind would want to cuddle with their little brother? Anyway, you're here for at lest another week, while we wean you off the pain drugs, so I got the bed to myself. After that you can do your worst, but I'm betting you'll have forgiven me before then."

"Jerk…" Jim shifted, rolling his body closer to where Spock was standing over him, still holding his arms.

"Yeah, I'm horrible." Jim could almost hear Bones' eyes rolling, "The pain should be fading. I just have one more loop of bandage to tie off, then Spock can take you to get cleaned up while I get us all some dinner."

Jim groaned, but nodded. The burning pain, which had worked its way up his arm to his shoulder, was letting up slightly and the idea of a sonic and dinner was taking the edge off his righteous fury.

"Good boy," Bones' warm hands patted Jim's head once more before helping Spock pull him up and out if the bed.

He felt Spock's arm rap around his waist, holding him up as he swayed slightly. Bones even took a moment to calmly help Jim into his sling before hitting softly up side the head and barking at them to get going.

"You stink worse than a dead skunk."

Jim blew a kiss over his shoulder as Spock half-dragged half-carried him to the bathroom.

"I wish he wasn't right all the fucking time," Jim muttered as he shifted to lean on the sink.

Spock didn't answer for a minute, when he did his voice was low and questioning, "Dr. McCoy seems to genuinely care for you and you for him. It would seem logical for you to consider him as potential mate, or to have done so at some time."

"What?" Jim laughed, "Me and Bones? Good god no. You heard him we're like brothers. He help put me back together when I was broken. He has always put me back to together."

Jim waved his bandaged hand slightly, showing off Bones' latest work.

"Fascinating," Spock's hands, cool and solid, started helping Jim undress, pulling Jim's shirt off and started un-belting his pants.

Jim brushed Spock's hands away before the older man could pull his pants down for him, "I can take it from here Spock, thanks."

Spock's hands moved to rest on Jim's waist, holding him in place as Jim stood and started making his way to the shower.

"So I read a report that was sent to Pike earlier today," Jim said to distract himself from the feel of Spock's hands gripping him, "Something about the a Borg outpost blocking our direct course to the _Jellyfish_."

"Indeed, Captain," Jim thought he heard a hint of chagrin in Spock's voice, "There are fourteen colony worlds, fifty outposts, and approximately 783 relay stations directing thousands of Borg ships in this sector. It is highly improbable that we will find a course that does not take us close to a Borg facility of some sort."

"How much of a delay do you think will have this time, Mr. Spock?" Jim grinned, stumbling slightly as he walked into the shower stall with Spock following, still with a firm grip on Jim's waist to hold him up.

"At lest another week, Captain." Spock helped Jim lean against the wall.

"So about the time that I'll be released from Med-bay," Jim nudged Spock's arm softly, "How long have you and Chekov been working on this new course?"

"It was surprisingly simple, Captain," Spock's breath whispered along Jim's neck from where he stood behind him. "And highly logical to delay our arrival until we have our best computer technician as part of the away team."

"I'm flattered," Jim said as he patted Spock's hands, trying unsuccessfully to push them off, "I can wash myself, Spock."

"It is not flattery. I am merely stating facts, Captain." Spock's hands slid down Jim's hips, pushing Jim's pants lower, "As for washing yourself, I think you will find it is much more efficient if I assist you."

Jim shivered. The idea of Spock helping him wash was more than a little tempting. Hell he wanted it. He could already feel the silky Vulcan skin gliding over his chest. But he shouldn't; couldn't take advantage of Spock like that. Even if Spock was willing to indulge in a little light petting… No, Jim wasn't even going to think about the possibilities.

As Jim was talking himself out of molesting his first officer Spock was pulling Jim's pants off. A second later the sonics started surprising Jim and making him lose his balance.

Spock caught and quickly steadied him, "I believe you have proved my point for me, Captain."

"Yeah," Jim let out a shuddering sigh, "I guess I did."

Jim had also proved, at lest to himself, that he was not 'up' to even dreaming. He was weak and shacking from the brief flirtation with fantasy.

Jim felt himself sink back into Spock's arms as his breathing became ragged. He's earlier euphoria shattered, ripping away any false hope that he had somehow clung to.

They were not on a temporary exploratory mission. There was no small planet on the edge of somewhere waiting for them to settle in and make a new home. There was no hope of reconverting some small bit of the universe as it was before the Borg. They would never go home. There was no home for any of them to go back too. Tellar Prime had been the last Federation planet to fall to the Borg, but fall it did. There was nothing left. They, all of them every race that had ever existed, were either gone utterly and completely destroyed, or doomed to eke out a miserable half-life in hiding. Doomed to roam forever on the edge of a ravaged universe.

"JIM! SNAP OUT OF IT," Bones' voice broke though Jim's distraction, "You're scaring Spock."

Jim felt himself being lifted as Bones' voice echoed down to him, "Sorry bout this Spock, it's my fault. Should have seen this coming."

"Please explain," Spock's voice was deep and rumbling, as if worry was trembling inside him.

"See, when Jim entered the academy he was barely fifteen and had just survived a living Hell. He was living on the streets when Pike found him," There was a heartbeat when all Jim's nightmares were left unsaid. "Anyway, I incorporated showers into his therapy sessions. He needed a safe place to vent, somewhere he had never been hurt and oddly enough the shower worked. Sonic or water doesn't matter, once he's in he just let's himself go."

"That is most illogical," Spock sounded like he was growling… or purring, "I have showered with the Captain before."

"In the gym after sparring?" Bones asked, Jim felt a hypo being pressed into his neck.

Spock must have nodded because Bones continued, "He still holds it in if he's with other people, I really didn't think about him falling apart on you. He must trust you more than I thought. Anyway, he's coming around. Jim? Can you hear me?"

Jim nodded. The world was starting to come back into relative focus considering his eyes were closed. He wished suddenly that he could take his blindfold off.

"Anything you would like to tell me, Jimmy boy?" Jim felt Bones' hand brush over his hair.

Jim took a deep breath and shifted; suddenly noticing a pair of cool solid arms holding him. "Spock's holding me isn't he?"

"Like a baby. Now tell me what made you snap."

"I had an epiphany; I'm living a No-Win Scenario," Jim shifted; Spock wasn't hold him like a baby he was just supporting his back with his arms rapped around his chest, "That thought might have made me freak out a bit."

"Anything else?" Bones' voice was raw with sarcasm.

"I used to use left hand pinky to masturbate?" Jim grinned.

"I didn't hear that and I don't want to ever hear it again," Bones stormed out of the room closing the door sharply behind him.

Jim sighed and started pulling himself away from Spock, but Spock wouldn't let him.

"I believe I may have an answer to your dilemma, Captain," Spock voice was a low purr, Jim felt him being lifted and held close to a bare Vulcan chest.

"Which one?" Jim asked, half-hoping it had to do with pleasure rather than the apocalypse.

"I was referring to your difficulty with the No-Win Scenario involving the Borg," Spock purred, literally purred, so Jim could feel it rumbling in his own chest, "However given time I may be able to think of so method of stimulation you may find enjoyable."

Jim gulped, but nodded, "What's your answer to apocalypse, Mr. Spock?"

Jim felt a cool hand drift slowly from his chest to his side and back, "It is your answer to the _Kobayashi Maru_. We need to change the rules, Jim."


	12. Chapter 11

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

This chapter has a hint of lime!

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 11

"Hold still," Jim felt the last loop of his blindfold slide off. The light was startlingly bright, but nowhere near as blinding as was before, "There, now open your eyes slowly."

Jim blinked letting his eyes open for the first time in weeks, "Damn, it's bright!"

His eyes watered as Jim glanced around Med-bay One. He was surprised that Spock wasn't there, but then again Spock had said they would be approaching the Jellyfish within a few hours and there were precautions that needed to be taken.

"What's the light set on anyway?" Jim asked rubbing him good hand over his eyes and blinking away tears from he brightness. All the colors looked washed out.

"It only 25% max," Bones said, rubbing Jim's hair gently, "Your eyes should go back to normal as the metorapan works its way out of your system. Here."

Bones handed him a pair of dark-lensed glasses, which he slipped over his eyes, "Better?"

"Much, thanks Bones," Jim glanced around, with the glasses on the room was dim. He could barely make out the Bio-beds that were stacked like bookshelves five high all over the room.

"Computer, lights to 80%." The lights were suddenly much brighter, but the light wasn't overwhelming.

"So doc, am I fit for duty?" Jim grinned at the older man, the Doctor's eyes had an odd green cast because of the lenses.

Bones glared at him, "Yeah, yeah. Are you going to look at your hand or not?"

Jim grimaced. He had been avoiding that. It wasn't that he hadn't gotten used to the idea of having a finger missing, and he had more than his share of scars, but it was a little harder to accept his newest mutilation than he had thought it would be.

Jim took a breath before glancing down at his lap where his hand was lying. There was a large square bandage taped from the base of his ring finger to just below his wrist. The thin lines of a brace crisscrossed from his fingers to mid-arm without covering the bandage or the wound under it.

"So I have nine fingers now," Jim grinned up at his best friend, "That's sort of sexy right?"

"Not remotely," Bones said ruffling Jim's hair and pushing him slightly, "and before you ask, No you can't take the brace off yet. That stays on for a few more weeks, at lest until the bones heal a bit more."

Bones pointed to the bandage, "You want to see what's under there?"

Jim shook his head slowly, "I think I'll give it a bit more time. I know I scar up badly and I think I want to let this one fade a bit before I look at it too closely."

"That might be for the best, Jim," Bones tapped a hypo thoughtfully, "that bandage is just to remind you to go easy on that hand. Lift things with your right hand and try not to hit anything."

Jim grinned at him before leaning in to hug the older man. Bones grumbled, but allowed it.

"You know," Jim glanced at his hand again, "I over heard Sulu telling Chekov this old Japanese story about how two people could be bound together by a red string of fate that's tied to the pinkies of their left hands. Apparently girls who were forced into arranged marriages would sometimes cut their pinkies off and give them to their lovers so the string of fate wouldn't be broken."

"That is the single creepiest thing I've ever heard," Bones nudged him off the exam table, "You think your thread-thing is broken now?"

"I don't think it's real. It just," Jim sighed, wiggling the remaining fingers on his left hand slowly, "Do you remember what it was like to fall in love with someone and then everywhere you looked there would be something to remind you of them? It's like that, only funking depressing. Every time I let my mind wonder I end up remembering some other bit of stupid finger related trivia."

"That's not uncommon," Bones said half-comfortingly, "my Granny called it the 'Red Car Syndrome'. It's nothing to worry about and it does go away. Anyway, you're on duty in ten minutes, Captain."

Jim turned and pulled his friend into a bone-crushing hug, "I love you!" Jim snuggled close to the older man before suddenly licking Bones' ear like puppy.

"That's disgusting," Bones kicked out at him, barely tapping Jim's ass with the heel of his boot as Jim jumped away laughing.

"I'll see you later, Bones!" Jim grinned back at his friend's glowering face as he walked out of Med-bay One. The door slid closed behind him followed by a soft thunk as what was probable a shoe was thrown at it from the other side.

Jim laughed as he walked down the hall. He had missed being able to toy with Bones without the fear of getting hypo-ed to Hell and back.

A few people glanced at him as he made his way to the turbolift, but Jim didn't mind the odd looks he was getting. He was just happy to have free run of his ship again! He ran one hand along the plant-covered wall before stepping into the lift with a couple of young officers.

"Uncle Jimmy!" Jim glanced back to see Joanna waving happily at him. He grinned and waved back before the doors closed. He made a mental note to go see her after

The other officers stood to the side talking and glancing at him.

Jim smiled and hummed lightly as the lift slowly made its way to the bridge. The lights flickered as the lift stopped and the doors opened.

"Captain on the Bridge!" Spock's voice called out, making Jim grin widely.

"At ease everyone!" Jim grinned waved as he walked to the big chair, "What's happening?"

Spock moved to the side of the Command chair, where he had been sitting, so that Jim could sit, "We are within four point two nine hours of the _Jellyfish_, there are signs of a Borg probe in the area. We have run security checks on all systems and were beginning a secondary system scan. I am doubtful that these precautions will be needed."

Jim sat down, wincing as his scars pulled, "I did spend the last two weeks reinforcing the computer's defenses. But I haven't activated a few of the redundancies I put in place. What type of probe is it?"

"We have yet to determined the probes class," Jim felt Spock's hand on the back of his chair. "It does not seem to be manned, however we are taking every preventative measure to insure the ships safety."

Jim nodded slowly, "I want to go over the full system again. Everyone keep on your toes."

There was a chorus of 'Aye, Captain' as everyone prepared for a potential battle.

* * *

"Alright. Sulu, move us closer," Jim sighed and leaned back in his chair. He was a little disappointed; after all their hard work, checking and double checking the security systems. The probe was not only unmanned, but it was also D-class which made it completely harmless.

D-class probes were designed to attach to their target and gather information through direct connection to the computers; they were dropped off and then picked up again later with the information already sorted for easy assimilation.

"Captain, we have a visual on the probe's main connection." Chekov said pointing to the main screen.

"Good," Jim shifted, accidently push on the chair arm with his bad hand and groaning as pain lashed through his arm. He fell back, clenching his hand instinctively, which only doubled the pain.

"Captain?" Spock's voice was too low for the others to hear and Jim felt the other's cool breath brush along his cheek, making him open eye he hadn't realized he had closed. "Are you alright, Jim?"

He looked over at his First Officer and nodded slightly, "I'm fine. Just bumped my hand a little, it's fine."

Spock raised one eyebrow before gently lifting Jim's left hand and turning it to inspect the brace, "You do not seem to have injured your hand further."

Jim pulled his hand away; fighting down a blush as faint electric buzz ran through his skin where Spock had touched, "Let's see what that probe is looking at."

"Yes Sir," Spock nodded and walked to the Science station and, leaning over the controls, reported. "The _Jellyfish_'s life support system has been inactive for approximately three months. There is an energy transfer between the _Jellyfish_ and Borg probe. It seems as if the probe is activated part of the memory banks and is drawing information from the computer's main files."

"We need to get that probe off," Jim said as he pulled his eyes away from were Spock's pant were pulled over his- beautifully shaped- ass as he leaned over his equipment, "but it could be useful to find out what it has already. Suggestions?"

"We could…" Chekov started but his voice tapered off, glancing a Sulu, "do we have any exploratory probes?"

Sulu shook his head; "We used the last one as a decoy half a year ago."

"Hey Scotty," Jim called, hitting the Comm button on the side of his chair.

"Is that you Captain?" Scotty's voice crackled up from the speakers.

"Any ideas on how to get the information off that probe, Mr. Scott?" Jim asked, tapping his fingers over the screen of his PADD.

"I may have something up my sleeve," Scotty said in a half-singsong tone, "give me half an hour to get things together."

"You got it, Kirk out." Jim spun his chair to face Spock. "I need you to put a Away Team together. You'll be leading it, Mr. Spock."

"Of course, Captain," Spock said, turning to give Jim a tiny Vulcan smile before going back to examining the probe's activities.

* * *

They had spent the last half hour helping put Scotty's brilliant plan into action. Jim twisted, trying to stretch his stiff muscles, before standing and walking over to Sulu and looking over the ship's main controls.

"How's the connection holding up?" Jim asked as he let his good hand rest on the back of the pilot's chair.

"It's holding steady, Captain," Sulu grinned up at him; Jim saw the older man's eyes flicker from Jim's face to Chekov's making Jim grin widely.

Jim grinned, winking at the blushing couple, before turning and walking to where Spock was preparing the computer for the data transfer.

"Ready Spock?" Jim leaned one hip on the control board beside Spock's chair and crossing his arms carefully. "I wish I could give Scotty a commendation for this one. Who would have thought he would build an ancient Earth modem out of busted up bits and bobs."

"It is an ingenious plan, however the transfer itself will be a bit slow Captain." Spock turned his chair and motioned from Jim to take a look through his scanner's viewing lens.

Jim leaned over to glance at the scanner's read outs, "As you can see the energy transfer between the Borg probe and the _Jellyfish_ is holding steady." Spock's voice was low nearly a purr. Jim felt one of Spock's hands brush his hip, helping him balance so he wouldn't have to use his left hand.

"It seems the probe is repeating a single file from the crew's personal logs."

Jim stood up and glanced at the main screen, where that Borg probe and the Jellyfish danced around each other slowly, "Why would it do that?"

"This model has a very simple system for sorting information into groups. It may have found a paradox that it is unable to resolve." Spock's hand was still on Jim's hip. He felt the cool touch right over one of his scars, soothing the slight pain that came with standing. He never wanted that cool hand to move, Jim wanted it right were it was for the rest of his life.

"Any idea what this paradox is?" Jim asked, forcing his mind away from the gloriously cool hand on his side and to the ship's safety. "If it was anything complex it could be dangerous to the Enterprise's computer."

"I don't think it's dangerous," Spock shifted to stand behind Jim, his hand still pressed to Jim side, "I think it's merely a bit of information the probe is unable to identify properly. Ordinarily the personnel files are the first a probe will absorb. This probe seems to have absorbed nothing beyond the most basic information."

Jim glanced back at the half-Vulcan, "But what could be in the personnel files that's so hard to sort?"

One of Spock's slanting eyebrows rose to his hairline, "This is the _Jellyfish_, Captain. If it is the pilot's files there is very good chance that it is MY file. How could a simple program, like the one in this probe, possibly understand the timeline paradox created by my older self's records?"

"Of course!" Jim laughed as he thought about a mindless Borg drone looking from the young Spock to the old Spock as smoke rose from its ears. "Any chance of getting that file up on the main screen?"

Jim felt Spock's hand rubbed over his side before the older man turned back to his station, "It appears to be a incomplete holo-vid. Would you like me to play it on the main screen, Captain?"

"Do it," Jim walked back to his chair and sprawled out, "I'm dying to see this!"

"Yes Sir."

The screen flickered before showing a bedroom. The walls were a soft cream color with a dark wood border with the rest of the room made up of shades of blue and brown. The camera was pointed at the bed as if someone was standing looking it.

Jim shifted letting his head fall into his good hand. That room was beautiful. It had all his favorite colors, there where even hints of Command Gold along the edges of the sheets.

An alarm went off, pulling Jim from his thoughts and making him blink at the sudden noise.

A man groaned as a hand pocked out from under the blankets and tuned the alarm off. There was a bit more groaning as whoever was in the bed shifted around, making the blankets and pillows fall to the side and tousled head of golden brown hair appeared from under a pillow.

The person in the bed arched his back then pushed himself up on to his hands and knees. The sheets slid down to hang loosely on his hips, exposing the golden planes and dips of a strong back and outlining firm round cheeks. The man stretched, pushing his ass into the air before flopping over onto his back and brushing his hair out of sleepy hazel eyes.

Jim watched as his older self ran his hands through his hair and down his smooth scar-free body to the tent his morning wood was making under the dark blue sheets.

"Hey," the older Kirk's voice was husky with sleep and lust, "are you coming back to bed or do I have to play alone?"

Jim's older self brushed his hands up and down the outside of the sheet, only stopping to toy with the tip until a drop on moister soaked through the sheet, "Well?"

The screen flickered and the scene started over, with older version of Jim asleep under the blankets.

"I believe the probe has spent the last few week trying to sort this bit of footage into either propaganda or pornography, Captain." Spock's voice made everyone jump slightly, a few of the younger ensigns giggled awkwardly as they tried to cover signs of arousal.

"Porn," Jim laughed, letting his head fall back and brushing his hair out of his face with his left hand, "it's porn Spock."

* * *

AN: I'll be traveling soon and my computer is a little bit broken so updates may be a little slow for a while.


	13. Chapter 12

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

Sorry for the lateness. The Bad News: I have a bit of writer's block; partly do to travel and partly do to an influx of plot bunnies for other stories that I have to work on or I'll go crazy…-er. And writing may be slow for a while yet. Sorry... The Good News: I'm an Aunt now! A new baby bunny was born into my family (thus the traveling). For the purposes of this site we will call him Snuggles the Great! Live Long and Prosper, Snuggles!

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 12

Jim let himself fall back in his chair as he watched his older self was moaning and arching on the screen. He had let holo-vid repeat on the main screen as they worked to get as much information as they could directly from the probe, but it was slow work.

"Captain?" Jim looked over to where Spock was monitoring the data transfer. "We have fully downloaded all the information from the Borg probe. As I expected, there is nothing more than the most basic information. However, I have discovered a timetable that indicates the Borg have been inspecting this probe's progress whenever a Cube happens to be near; approximately every two weeks. The last inspection was five days and fourteen point four hours ago."

"So you're ready to go over and checking it out for yourself?" Jim asked, turning his chair to face Spock. "So we can turn off James Kirk: Porn Star?"

"Certainly Captain, however," Spock turned away from his station and walked up to the captain's chair, "I have a question of a personal nature."

"Sure Spock," Jim grinned then frowned. There was something wrong with Spock's face, but Jim couldn't put his finger on it at first. Then he realized Spock looked a little pink, but he pushed the thought away. "What do you want to know?"

Spock straightened his back and folded his hands behind his back; "I have had the opportunity to observe your morning rituals on a number of occasions, however I have never observed you behaving in a similar manner as your elder-self."

Spock waved at the screen where the older Jim was playing with himself. A few of the young ensigns giggled wildly and the older officers all blushed or looked away coughing.

Jim felt himself blush twelve shades of red before he stammered out, "Are you asking why you haven't seen me sleep naked or why…?" He was really hoping Spock wasn't asking why Jim never masturbated in front of him.

"Why do you not sleep on your stomach, Captain?" Spock said waving at the screen again, "Is it because you do not wish to stretch your muscles in such a manner? That would be most illogical Captain. I believe you would benefit from increasing your flexibility."

Jim laughed so hard his sides ached and he started tearing up. He was so relieved. Maybe a little disappointed that it wasn't an invitation, not that he would ever admit it. He clutched at a stitch in his side as he rubbed the tears from his face, accidently dislodging the dark-glasses Bones had given him and sending them clattering to the floor.

Spock knelt down and quickly plucked the, now broken, frames from the ground, "I had not intended to cause you pain, Captain."

Jim let himself fall back at his chair and grinned at Spock, "I'm fine Spock. It was just funny."

"How so Captain?" Spock seemed to ignore both Chekov's and Uhura's snickering as he handed the broken glasses to Jim.

"It's nothing really," Jim said waving the older man away, "Anyway, scars don't stretch much so I'm not very flexible. I don't think I would make a very good Porn star."

"I don't agree!" Chekov chirped suddenly before blushing uncontrollably as Sulu glared at him.

"That's a nice hole you dug for yourself, Love," Sulu growled.

"I am just saying; if I was not in a wonderful committed relationship I might think of the Captain as a possible date…" Chekov petered off blushing even more brightly.

"Yeah," Sulu said taking pity on the young ensign as he winked at Jim, "I might have gone for that temptation one night at the academy."

Jim grinned at Chekov, who was spluttering.

"I was not aware that had been in a relationship with Mr. Sulu, Captain" Spock's voice was almost openly accusatory.

Jim grinned slightly at the half-Vulcan, "It was less of a relationship and more of a drunken make-out session."

"What the _hell_ are you talking about?" Jim turned to see a red faced Bones walk onto the bridge. "You know what? I don't want to know."

"Bones!" Jim grinned as the doctor walked up to his chair, "What are you doing here?"

"I requested his presence in the transporter room, Captain," Spock said, making Jin turn to him again to see that the half-Vulcan was still holding the broken frames. "I believe that you should repair these, Doctor."

"JIM!" Bones shouted, snatching the frames out of Spock's hand, "What did you DO?"

"Nothing and I don't want them anyway," Jim rolled his eyes, but regretted it instantly as the overly bright light sent a shaft of pain tearing through his head forcing him to close his eyes.

"Captain?" Chekov's voice interrupted Bones before he could add his two cents in, "I have a clear line for the transporter."

Jim nodded, pulling on his Captain's face for the first time in weeks and opening his eyes, "Alright! Spock get your team down to Transporter Room One, Scotty I want you manning the transporter personally. Chekov, keep your eyes on that line; I want everyone out of there if that line so much as flickers."

"AND _I_ want you wearing thoughts glasses OR sleeping. CAPTAIN." Bones nearly screamed as Jim tried, and failed, to pull himself from his chair with his hands.

Jim let himself fall back as his left hand screamed out in pain. He hadn't meant to use his hand and he had just wanted to show he was really ok, because he couldn't stand any more fussing from Bones.

Jim felt a cool hand rest on his and a cold breath brushed his cheek, "Jim… I believe the doctor is right. You have a fine crew, trust us."

"Fine," he stood, without using his hands this time, "Sulu you have the Conn. I'll be in the Ready Room, I will call me if _ANYTHING_ happens. Uhura, you're second in command. And you lot," Jim waved at a group of young ensigns all of whom were red faced and giggling at Kirk-Porn Star, "You keep your eyes on the scanners. I want to know the instant you see anything that even hints at Borg heading this way. Understood?"

"Yes Sir!"

Spock's fingers brushed slowing over the back of Jim's hand as he stepped away, sending a soft tingle of warmth up Jim's arm, "I still have a few questions in regards to your elder-self. Perhaps you could answer them over a game of chess?"

"Sure Spock," Jim grinned at the half-Vulcan before he glanced around the bridge one last time, satisfied that everyone was working, before walking to the Ready Room and pushing his way onto one of the low bunks for a bit of sleep.

* * *

Spock watched as the captain walked away. He had not intentioned to touch the younger man so openly, but his intentions had gone out the window the moment his hand brushed Jim's. The younger man's pain had been so obvious. He couldn't stop himself from checking on Jim's pain level, then having touched the younger man's golden skin, he couldn't stop himself from kissing the silk-soft flesh with his finger tips.

He forced himself to attention, before glancing around the bridge and walking to his station. His team should have reported to Transporter Room One and was waiting for him.

Spock looked over the data stream, which had not gained any new information, before closing the holo-vid of 'Jim Kirk: Porn Star" as the captain had called his elder self, ignoring the groans and muttered complaints from the crew. He quickly made a copy of the holo on his PADD, just for scientific study, before locking the file behind Command level security codes.

"Doctor McCoy?" Spock turned to the human, who was still frowning at the door behind which Jim was resting, "Shall we go together?"

"Sure Spock," McCoy gave the door one last withering glare before joining Spock at the turbo-lift, "What kind of precautions are you taking?"

Spock started enumerating varies forms of environmental control suits and Phaser settings they would have, but his mind was elsewhere. He kept envisioning the holo of Captain's elder-self, except his mind replaced the thirty or forty year old version of his Captain with his twenty-three year old Jim. The past weeks of Jim's recovery had given Spock far to many opportunities to memorize the younger man's naked flesh thus he could clearly picture the scarred golden skin of his Jim shimmer as his back arched and rolled so beautifully.

"You're taking Stevenson?" McCoy interrupted Spock's train of thought, "I thought he was afraid of going off ship."

"He is frightened of going planet side, however as we are only going to another ship I do not foresee any difficulties," Spock forced his mind to the mission at hand, it would not do to be distracted by his unhealthy obsession with his best friend.

"You might have a bit of trouble with him," McCoy waved slightly, "not as much trouble as Jim on an typical day, but still. If you have any off him just send him down to the third deck med-bay. Those guys will put him to work, no problem."

"Indeed," Spock walked out of the turbo-lift, he couldn't clearly remember getting on in the first place due to his inappropriate sexualization of his Captain.

The rest of the walk to the transporter was done in silence, but Spock was able to keep his mind on the mission rather than the silky flesh of his young Captain, mostly.

Spock pulled the wrinkles out of his shirt before stepping into Transporter Room One and looking his team over. The members of the away team were running around getting ready; pulling on environment suits, tucking away phasers, chatting cheerfully, and generally getting in the way of the few people trying to sleep in the bunks lining the walls.

"Alright," Doctor McCoy shouted as he walked into the room behind Spock, "everyone line up! It's check-up time!"

There was a low groan as the group lined up. Spock stood quietly as the doctor ran a tricorder over him, before following behind the other and outlining the goals for those who had not read the full briefing.

"We will be beaming to a abandoned Vulcan ship named the _Jellyfish_." Spock walked passed the control panel and turned to stare at the team." We have very little information in the ships condition, however we do know that the ships hull is in good condition and that it was transporting a highly dangerous material know as Red Matter. We will be checking if there is any Red Matter still on the ship. We will also be attempting to make a full account of the damage to the _Jellyfish_ and repairing any minor damage to the main computers. Finally we will be retrieving any and all information from the computers that we can gain access to."

"Also _No_ mangling yourselves over there," McCoy chimed grimly, "Any injuries mush be reported immediately and the team as a whole will return to the _Enterprise_ for examination."

Before Spock could add anything Scotty rushed into the room gasping wildly.

"Sorry for be late," Scotty wheezed, "Nyota wants a word with you when you get back Mr. Spock."

"Interesting," Spock waited until Scotty had caught his breath and taken his place behind the transporter controls before asking, "why did Miss Uhura not ask me herself?"

Scotty laughed, "I have no idea, Sir. She did mention that she wanted to talk to the Captain first."

Spock shifted uncomfortably. He had not been very subtle when he had kissed Jim on the bridge. It was entirely possible that Nyota had both seen and understood the implications of his actions. If she were to discuss his behavior with the Captain… Luckily Dr. McCoy had his own reasons for wanting to stop Jim and Nyota from talking.

"I better go save Jim before Uhura kills him for flirting," McCoy laughed as he walked out of the room.

Spock forced himself to focus on the mission, which was far more difficulty than it should have been he stepped onto the transporter pad, "Everyone prepare for transport."

The team followed Spock onto the small platform and arranged themselves quickly. Once everyone was in his or her place Spock nodded to Scotty, "Energize Mr. Scott."


	14. Chapter 13

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 13

"Fuck!" Jim pulled his hand back as a bolt of pain lanced up his arm and the sonic screwdriver he had been holding clattered to the floor. He glared at the replicator as it's innards hung dejectedly.

He had started working on the temperamental machine to distract himself from the increasing tightness in his skin as all his scars slowly made themselves felt. But it wasn't working the way he had hoped. This was the third his left hand had cramped making him drop what he was holding.

Jim rubbed his hand ruefully, ignoring the space where his pinky had been, before picking up the screwdriver, with his right hand, and trying to work on the loose processing chip backwards and at a 90-degree angle.

"Captain?" Jim grimaced, he was _not_ surrendering to the replicator, and turned.

"Is there something wrong, Lieutenant?" Jim asked as a cold knot twisted in his guts when he saw Uhura standing in the doorway. "Borg? Problem with the Away team? What's happened?"

Uhura shook her head firmly, "No problems, Captain. I just need to have a word with you."

The knot loosened a bit as he stood up slowly, "What about?"

"Spock," She shifted, half-waving to the door to the tiny washroom, "I would rather discuss this in private."

Jim nodded slowly as he followed her into the bathroom and let the door slide closed behind him. Uhura was super smart; she had to have noticed the way Spock and the other Vulcans had pulled in on themselves. She might even suspect that Telepathic trauma is in the cause. After all, she and Spock had been dating for the better part of four years; she had to have learned a thing or two along the way. Not that he thought she would go around blabbing what she knew, Uhura was too smart and far too kind to do that, but still it would be good to find out what she had picked up on and how.

"And here I thought that room was small," Uhura laughed, nodding to the minute office as she sat on the closed toilet lid, "It's no wonder you never used it."

"Yeah," Jim laughed as he rubbed his left hand ruefully, "well at lest it's useful now."

"Could you slouch or something, I feel like you're looming," Uhura smiled brightly, "and what I want to ask isn't really loom worthy."

"As you wish, my lady," Jim let himself slide down the door until he was sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up and feet planted on either side of the toilet, and looking up at Uhura's scared and beautiful face, "First off, tell me you have someone experienced manning your station."

"Sub- Lieutenant Riker is very well trained, sir, and I'm still keeping my eye on things," Uhura tapped her PADD reassuringly. "They beamed over and have the power on. Now," her face shifted into a faint reassuring smile, "how long are you have Spock and you been dating?"

Jim blinked wildly, "What?"

"How _long_ have _you two_ been _dating_?" Uhura asked stressing the words slowly so there could be no mistaking her meaning.

"I… What? No. I heard you. It's just…" Jim fumbled for words, "How could you think Spock and I are dating? I mean, what could have led you to believe that we're…?"

She laughed brightly, "Oh please, did you think you were being discreet?"

"We're not being discreet," Jim started.

"No you're not."

Jim finished, "because we aren't dating."

"You bastard," Uhura stood up, the smile ripping off her face to be replaced with a look of pure rage. At the same time the door slide open behind Jim making him fall back onto someone's shoes.

"How did I know you'd be needing my help," Bones drawled blandly, "Come on, kid. What'd you say to make this lovely lady so very angry."

"Flirting bastard!" Uhura spat furiously, "I can't believe you!"

"You lot," Bones waved at the bunks lining the wall of the tiny office, "Get out. I'll tell you when you can come back in."

"Captain?"

"Yeah," Jim called to them from where he was sprawled on the floor, "Give us a moment to alone to work out a little miss understanding."

"Yes Sir,"

They filed out quickly, only a couple glancing back sleepily.

"How could you use Spock like that?" Uhura raged quietly, "I thought you were his friend!"

"I am," Jim stuttered glancing between an enraged Uhura and Bones' confused smile, "It's just, Spock and I aren't dating. We're just friends."

"Ok," Bones offered Jim a hand up, "What's going on?"

"That," Uhura rattled off a bit of angry Klingon that Jim dearly wish he didn't understand, "is using Spock!"

"I'm not using Spock!" Jim grunted as Bones pulled him to his feet. "And _why_ did you think he and I where dating?"

"You _KISSED_!" Uhura waved her PADD wildly, "And since you kissed you have to be dating! Vulcans Don't do casual sex, they only kiss people they intend to marry."

"Hold on a second," Jim sat down on one of the low bunks, his back and side were screaming and his hand kept sending pulses of pain up his arm, but he couldn't get the picture of Spock kissing him out of his head, "Spock has _never_ kissed me! I think I would remember that." he shook his head slowly, but the cool feel of Spock's hand on his side stuck like glue, "And anyway he's straight. He wouldn't want to kiss me!"

"Spock a Vulcan," Bones groused, "they are all bisexual. Pick their mates based off of mental compatibility not gender," Bones rolled his eyes, "or physical attractiveness; that's considered a bonus."

"And I saw you two kissing!" Uhura said flinging her hands up.

"When and where," Jim sighed rubbing his aching hand, "I would have loved to have been there!"

"You kissed less than half an hour ago, on the bridge!" Uhura danced in an agitated little circle, "He kissed you in front of _everyone_! I was there!"

"So was I," Bones objected, "I didn't see any kissing! I would have noticed kissing! Have you seen Jim kissing? You would not forget seeing Jim kissing! I have tried! God have I tried!"

"You weren't looking in the right place!" Uhura hissed passionately.

"Oh?" Bones sounded pissed and Jim was considering slipping out the door before Bones started shouting, "Well I don't know where _you_ were looking, but _I_ was looking at Jim's _face_! There was _NO_ kissing! Not even one of the stupid little pecks he does just to _piss me off_!"

"It wasn't a Human kiss!" Jim glanced up from playing one of his brace straps to see Bones and Uhura face to enraged face. "Ever heard of Vulcan finger kissing? I was looking at their hands! They kissed!"

"You're saying that Jim and Spock _kissed_ because their hands brushed together a bit?" Bones laughed scornfully. "Isn't it true that Vulcans ask permission to court a mate before they do the finger kissing?"

"Yes," Uhura shrugged, "Of course. To do otherwise would be an invasion of privacy!"

"So Jim," Bones turned sharply to glare at him, which made him sit up a little to quickly and bash his back into the middle bunk, "do you remember Spock ever asking you to allow him to court you? He would have used those words."

"That I know didn't happen!" Jim shook his head, still trying to push the idea of Spock's mouth on his out of his mind.

"Then why did he touch you like that?" Uhura sighed angrily, "It looked like a kiss!"

"Why are you so obsessed with this kiss idea?" Jim asked. He would have loved to have Spock's sexy Vulcan hand kissing him, invasion of privacy or not, but he couldn't bring himself to hope like that.

"It really did look like a kiss," Uhura sagged onto the bunk beside Jim, "I wanted it to be a kiss."

Jim stared at her dumbfounded, "Why would you _want_ to see your ex kissing another guy?"

"Spock and I only dated for three weeks; we never got passed Vulcan first base," Uhura blushed making her scar standout brightly. "When we decided to stop seeing each other romantically… I had never been in a relationship that lasted less than two months, not even in high school… We decided to keep are brake-up quiet for a while, just until we both got used to working on the _Enterprise_. It soothed my ego and helped him relate to the crew better. Then the Borg attacked and… with Komack on board it was… safer for me to have a boyfriend."

Jim felt his blood run cold at the mention of the former Admiral.

"I almost wish I had had a Vulcan boyfriend when Komack was around," Bones piped in grimly, "Anything would have been better than that _pig_ eyeing me up every time I walked by. Even caught him looking at my Jojo once; nearly killed him myself. The Borg did us a favor with that one."

"So you two are friends, he kept you safe, and now you were hoping he kissed me?" Jim asked, he could feel Bones standing close to his side.

"I wanted to see Spock happy! I thought, since you two are so close, maybe you were more than friends." Jim watched as Uhura blushed prettily, "I still don't understand why he touched you, like a kiss, if it wasn't romantic."

Jim rubbed his left hand absentmindedly, "Why don't I ask Spock that next time I see him and," he glanced and Bones, who was glaring at Jim's hands, "you get back to your station. I don't care how good Riker is, I want your ears on this."

"Yes Sir," Uhura stood and brushed her skirt down, before turning to the door taking a few steps and turning back suddenly, "And I apologize for calling you… I'm sorry, Captain. Spock is very important to me and I jumped to conclusions. I shouldn't have and I'm very sorry."

"No problem Lieutenant, just don't go making a it a habit," Jim smiled brightly, still rubbing his hand which was cramping sending bolts of pain up his arm. "And I would have punched me if I thought I was playing with Spock's heart… That didn't come out right, but you get the idea."

"I do, thanks Captain," Uhura smiled and turned to the door, but after a few steps she turned back to face Bones, "I think you should look at the Captain's hand, Dr. McCoy, I think he fell on it when you opened the door."

"Thanks, just through me to the wolves, I'll be fine," Jim grunted as Bones turned to him with almost maniacal glee.

* * *

AN: Sorry for the short chapter and the late update. Writing is going to continue to be slow because my Writer's Block, I've named it Logan, is still in place and, joy or joys, my computer is broken and needs to be sent away for repairs. I have no idea when my next update will be but I will try to have it up faster than this one. Sorry again.


	15. Chapter 14

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 14

Spock materialized on the darkened bridge of the Jellyfish and drifted before the magnets on his boots pulled him gently to the floor. His team materialized behind him, each with a soft thump as they adjust to the sudden, though not unexpected, darkness.

"Full sensor sweep completed, Commander," Stevenson muttered nervously, "No sign of Borg activity."

"Very good," Spock nodded as his own tricorder confirmed the younger man's readings, "Lights to lowest setting, fire at the first sign of movement."

Four dim lights flicked on, illuminating the IDIC symbol of the cockpit and speckles of red drifting slowly inside the Red Matter containment unit.

"This is a one-man vessel," Spock explained as he flicked his light on, "Logically, there should be no more than three rooms for the pilot's privet use."

"How do you know it will be laid out logically, Commander?" On of his team asked quietly as their lights drifted over the glittering red matter.

"As I said before, this is a Vulcan designed ship." Spock took a careful step forward. He needed to get his team to work; however he was... Not worried. That was far to human an emotion. However, considering the "information" they had downloaded for the Borg probe he was reasonable concerned about what his team might fined on the ship's computer. They needed to get the computer working, however... "I shall investigate the main computer."

He turned to his team, " Mr. Lee and Mr. Tamar, make sure the Red Matter containment unit is whole and undamaged. Mr. Stevenson and Mr. Jayne stand guard. We will investigate the pilot's quarters as a team, once we have established the ship's status."

They nodded grimly as they turning purposefully to their work.

Spock watched briefly, before whirling to face the cockpit and pushing off so he could gently drifting over to it. It had been quite some time since he had trained in zero gravity so he was not a gracefully as he had might have been a few short years earlier. He was, however, gratified to see that his team was fairing well, even without consistent training.

Spock slid into the pilot's seat and examined the computer panels. They seemed undamaged, however it would be unwise to dive in recklessly as Jim was to want to do. It was mildly disturbing, but he was unable to think of Jim as 'The Captain'. In fact it had been several weeks since he had been able to compartmentalize his thoughts of the "Captain" and his less than pure thoughts of Jim, his best friend, as he should do and in fact had been doing prior to Jim accident.

He pushed his thoughts away from his Captain and forced his mid to the task at hand. He plugged his PADD into the main computer. Even with the power off, he would be able to get some information from the data banks. He might even be able to run a limited search on the all data stored in the computer library.

"Commander?"

Spock glanced up from where his PADD was running a background diagnostic, "Have you found something?"

"Yes Sir," Lieutenant Lee said frankly, "It doesn't look to be Borg, but we can't be sure. It could always be a trap."

Spock nodded slowly, "Does it appear to be an immediate threat?"

"We don't know Sir, but it looks like it has Vulcan writing on it... and the ways it's attached to the Red Matter thing... We need to translate the words before we do anything."

"Very good," Spock glanced at his PADD, which confirmed the Borg probe had not left any dangerous programs in the main computer banks. "It would seem to be safe to turn the main power, however I would like to take a look at this object before we do anything that might activate it."

"Agreed Sir."

"Where is this object?" He asked as he carefully disconnected his PADD and stood to face the young officer.

"This way Sir," Lee said as she turned and pushed off to float, almost gracefully, around the bridge.

Spock watched as his light illuminated the sub-Lieutenant's path, glistening off walls and reflecting ruby glimmers off the Red Matter. It had been so long since the first time he had set foot on the _Jellyfish_, however his perfect Vulcan memory had replayed the sight more times than he cared to count. If he had known then that the death of Vulcan would only the beginning could he have had the strength to over come the tearing ache of broken bonds and fly into the _Narada_? Spock shook himself. It didn't matter. There could be no changing the past. What was was.

And it didn't matter that Nero had in fact changed the past when he destroyed the _Kelvin_ and Vulcan.

He pushed the pain of his thoughts to the darkest corner of his mind, for examination later, and made his way over to where Mr. Lee was standing, her feet magnetically gripping the floor. As he got closer Spock saw that Mr. Tamar was floating near the ceiling so his light threw a wide field of light over a panel which much, Spock remembered, control the Red Matter containment system and a small black box that seemed to be attached to the center of the panel.

"This is it Sir," Lee waved at the box, "I've run the Universal translator over it, but I'm only getting nonsense."

Spock nodded as he started examining the box. It was the same size and shape of a PADD, but instead of the usual display screen there was a set of 12 rings; some set one inside another, some linked like chains. As he looked closer Spock saw thin scratch-like markings around the inside of the rings. There were also three lines of scratches along the top of the box.

He pulled his light closer to the lines. The scratches were Vulcan symbols, parts of words, all but the top lines, which were whole words, but weren't arranged into anything coherent. Still, there was something familiar about the shape of the rings and the way the lines at the top curved a little to the left…

Spock brushed his fingers along the side of the tablet and felt a rush of memory, "It's a puzzle box."

"What?" Spock looked up at Mr. Tamar, who was blushing light orange. "I mean, what is a puzzle box doing here, Sir?"

"Locking the control panel," Spock trailed one finger along the side of the box where it attached to the panel, "It is a simple, but highly effective form of locking mechanism."

"Why would a Vulcan ship have a thing like that?" Mr. Tamar wondered as he drifted slowly to the floor to stand beside Mr. Lee. "Sir."

Spock glanced at the Red Matter, "If I had been alone on this ship, I would most certainly have constructed a safeguard against the Borg capturing the Red Matter. This may be the only method of lock the pilot could make that the Borg would not be able to disengage…"

He let his hand rest on the puzzle box briefly, a memory of desert wind flicked under his hand. Spock pulled his hand away from the tantalizing trace memories of Vulcan's High Desert and the sound of a sehlat's low purr, "We need to find out more about the pilot."

"Yes, Sir…"

"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?" Spock turned to his team, who had assembled and were standing looking at him as if he had done something strange.

"Are you Ok, Sir?" Lieutenant Jayne asked carefully, as if she thought Spock would snap at her for asking.

"I am most adequate, why do you ask?"

His team shifted restlessly.

"Well Sir, your eyes," Mr. Jayne stuttered, "well, they went all glassily and faraway for a second there…"

"Indeed?" Spock nodded. It was very possible that some hint of the memories left in the puzzle box had shown on his face, especially with his shields as weak as they were. "I will meditate on this later. For now, we need to find all we can on the pilot."

"Yes Sir."

* * *

Less then half an hour later, Spock and his team had gotten the power on. Spock had his team working on repairs while he worked on the puzzle box. The team was still shooting him worried glances between working on the computers.

They thought he was acting irrationally. Of course from their perspective he _was_ being highly illogical, but then he had not told them of the trap that had been set in-between the first and second lines of the puzzle.

He had not intended to keep the trap secret from his teammates, however it he only became aware of the trap after it had been disarmed. He would make a note of it in his report to the Captain, but he didn't want the near disaster upsetting his team.

The trap had been cleverly done. If he turned the power on, or had told his team to do so, before he had completed the first line of the puzzle it would have sent a spark through to the core of the Red Matter, igniting it. As soon as the first line unlocked he felt a string memory snap like taut wire.

_Danger averted, a last-second escape, relief after a mission barely survived. _

Spock pushed the unnecessary thoughts away. He needed to open the last line. It was the only way to gain access to the Red Matter, for Jim.

The even the brief search of the pilot's quarters had revealed little in the way of substantial, or useable, facts. The others on his team had been surprised and appalled by the corpse of an elderly male Vulcan, however Spock had recognized his elder self. He had not been surprised to find his elder-self dead. Other than the body, there was little in the way of personal effects, only a few robes and a half melted meditation candle.

Spock ran his finger over the first two lines again. They were oddly reassuring, even if the puzzle had been almost ludicrously easy to solve, particularly after having the pilot's identity confirmed.

_The blinding sun, and a cool hand, "I want you to find a place of your own. If you want to look for it in Starfleet, I'll support you. And don't worry I'll talk you your father."_

_ Soft short fur under his fingers as the comforting purr slowly drifted away on a burning desert breeze._

_ New dawn light illumination dust motes as they drifted, glowing like tiny stars._

_ The Enterprise was alive with light, just waiting for its crew. _

Spock let his shields down fully and deliberately ran his finger over the last line on the puzzle box, just as he had with the pervious lines. He let the touch memories flood him for the fifth time.

_A chess piece fell lazily as a soft voice echoed; "Maybe you'll have better luck if we play again?"_

_ Jim's bell like laughter rang thought the bridge, "Full power to thrusters. Let's get out of here!"_

_ The glowing nova of Jim's mind pulled him closer, drawing him into a deep and dazzling peace._

Spock let his thoughts drift as his fingers brushed back and forth over the puzzle board. This part of the puzzle was different that the first two lines. Both the first and second lines had used one memory for one word in the answer and those answers had been overly obvious.

Spock had already tried that method with no result.

Of course there were words in Vulcan that had more than one meaning, but the only one that fit with all three memories was highly unlikely. What possible motive could his elder-self have had to use a word like _T'hy'la_? Of course there was the fact that his elder-self had not suffered the loss of Vulcan, so he may have been able to bond with _his_ Jim; but to use such a powerful and emotional word as _T'hy'la_.

His Jim could not be his bond mate, let alone _T'hy'la…_

Spock twisted the interlinking rings until the innermost rings crossed and all the symbols lined.

Ko-mekh, T'zaled, Rok

Gu-vam

_T'hy'la_

There was a soft click as the puzzle box came lose from the Red Matter control panel.

"Fascinating."

* * *

Sorry for the incredible slowness. Logan is an absolute bastard. (That's what I have named my writer's block, by the way.)

As working on this story has become so hard, the very opposite of fun, I'm going to put it on hiatus for November! I'm going to do NaNoWriMo, with or without Logan! And hopefully the brake will help me organize this story a bit better.

Translation Thing:

Mother, Loyalty, Hope

Duty

Soul mate


	16. Chapter 15

I am so horrible sorry for the late update… There is a rant at the end of the chapter for those who want an explanation.

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 15

Jim looked at his reflection in the poorly placed mirror above the toilet/sink combo unit. He had only woken a few minutes ago from one of his more hellish nightmares and it had left him feeling muddled. Whatever Bones had used must have had him higher than a kite. The dream had been so vivid he could almost feel his skin tearing under the whip's bite.

Jim sighed and splashed water over his face one handed in the vane hope that it would push some of the groggy-ness and memories from his mind.

His communicator beeped as Jim was wiping the last droplets from his face.

"Kirk here," Jim said, nearly dropping the communicator as the cool metal slipped through his damp fingers, "What's the problem?"

"No Problems, Captain," Uhura singsong-ed happily, "If there was, I would just open the door and yell at you, Sir."

"So, not a problem then," Jim laughed lightly. He was absurdly relieved to hear that the away team was still fine. If he was completely honest he was mostly happy to hear that Spock was still okay, "What's up?"

"The away team is coming back and Spock wants to know if he can go over their findings with you in privet," Uhura's voice nearly happy-danced out of the communicator's speakers.

"Have him met me…" Jim faltered, "Is there any place empty enough right now to be considered even remotely private?"

"As it happens, Uhura giggled slightly before regaining her composer, "Dr. McCoy made it very clear that anyone who disturbed you would suffer a extraordinarily painful set of hypo sprays the next time they so much as sniffled, so all the ensigns and off duty officers are still scared to death. You two can have the 'Captain's Office' all to yourselves. I'll tell Spock to met you here."

"Great," Jim sighed, "but I need to have another talk with Bones about threatening the crew. Tell Spock to come up to the Bridge. I'll meet him there. Also call down to sick bay and tell Bones, for me, that he is an over protective bastard."

"Acknowledged, but you can tell Dr. McCoy yourself, he is still on the Bridge."

"Wonderful, Kirk out," Jim closed his communicator and glared at the new wrist brace Bones had somehow glued to his arm while he was out cold. It was a monster! The thing ran from just under his knuckles to halfway up his forearm. It looked less like a brace and more like a proper cast.

Jim shot one last glare at the monster brace before walking out of the tiny bathroom, through the still deserted office, and out onto the Bridge.

"Bones," Jim called as he walked over to the big chair, "a word."

"What can I do for you Captain?" Bones asked as he came to stand beside Jim. He sounded abnormally smug.

"First," Jim glared at his best friend, "What have I told you about threatening the ensigns and officers?"

"Not too?" Bones asked innocently.

"Right," Jim sighed, "and what is this?" Jim raised his left hand and waved his newly incased arm at the doctor.

"That, my dear Captain, is a high-tension polymer medical brace," Bones grinned and very nearly bounced in wicked glee, "It's still the experimental stage, but I think you will find it is both much stronger than your old brace and far more difficult to remove, at lest it is without the proper equipment."

"I did notice that, yeah," Jim grumbled, rubbing his incased wrist ruefully, "So, is there any reason you are still up here?"

Bones tossed a hypo spray lightly from one hand to the other, "Stimulant, just in case you were needed on the Bridge. I'm not stupid enough to face the Borg without you."

"Thanks Bones," Jim smiled and waved Bones way, "Now get your ass back down to Sick Bay."

"Aye Captain," Bones mock saluted, then turned and bounded to the turbo lift. When the doors opened Spock stepped out. The two older men nodded to each other as they passed.

"Captain," Spock said calmly as he came over to take the spot beside Jim's chair the Bones had just vacated, "I was told there was a place where we could speak privately."

"Sure thing Spock," Jim smiled, "But first, what do you recommend we do with the _Jellyfish_? We can't just let the Borg have it."

"The ship is structurally sound. A small crew could take control of it quite easily. The Jellyfish could follow us without difficulty. It would be a useful scout ship. In any case, I suggest we leave the area quickly."

Jim nodded and turned to the pilot's chair, "Sounds good. Mr. Sulu kindly go through the available pilots and find the best, other than you of course, and make a list for Spock and I to look through."

"Yes Sir, but that might take some time, a few days at lest." Sulu glanced happily back that Jim.

"Just make it a top priority."

"Yes Sir," Sulu glanced at Chekov who smiled happily. "We didn't get to say it earlier, but it's good to have you back Captain."

Jim grinned happily around the Bridge; "It's good to be back, if only I could keep Bones from mucking it up."

"Scotty?" Jim turning to the engineer, "Is towing an option. I would rather get away from here sooner than later."

"Aye, Captain," Scotty checked over the control panels, "I can make it work, but not for very long. A day at most and I will have to restrict power to six decks to do that much, but we will have warp one for that time."

"You are a miracle worker Scotty," Jim said standing. "Mr. Chekov, get hold of the _Jellyfish_. Mr. Sulu head for the rendezvous with the T'Met. Uhura, you have command, keep this rowdy lot on task until I get back. Spock you're with me."

Jim glanced around the Bridge again before leading Spock to the office/bunkroom and letting the door close behind them, "So Spock, what's with all the secrets. More Kirk porn?"

Spock shifted before setting into parade rest, "There was a small amount of questionable footage, yes. That is not, however, what I wished to discuss with you, Captain."

"So the pilot wasn't another version of your older self?" Jim asked. It didn't seem very likely for Spock, any Spock, to collect 'Kirk Porn'. Not that Jim would mind if Spock had such a collection, it just didn't seem like something Spock would want.

Jim didn't let himself imagine Spock watching porn.

"He was indeed a third version of myself," Spock shifted uncomfortably, "However, I wished to tell you was that my elder-self spent several months researching the Borg of our universe. I was able to decode a few highly interesting files that I think you would like to read in privet."

Spock held out his PADD. Jim took it and sat down on one for the bunks to read. As he read Jim felt his fist clenched so hard that the plastic of the PADD groaned under the presser. By the end of the admittedly limited report Jim's head was pounding. The implications of the data were horrifying. He let himself fall back onto the bunk.

"So," Jim said flatly as he covered his eyes with his good arm, "we are fighting an enemy without weaknesses?"

"It would seem so, Captain," Spock's calm voice moved closer as the older male walked over to where Jim was sprawled out. "My elder-self seemed quite knowledgeable on the subject of Borg Programming and actions, at lest those of his universe. He spent approximately 4.9 months comparing his Borg to our own. In his universe the Borg entered the Alpha quadrant at lest full century later than our own and his Starfleet was able to repel the Borg at lest twice. Both times due, in no small part, to the weakness inherent in the Borg Queen's programming."

"But if your older self is right our Borg don't HAVE a Queen!" Jim gasped, half-laughing, "They saw their own Queen as a flaw and _THEY GOT RID OF HER."_

"Indeed, Captain," Jim felt the bunk shift as Spock sat down beside him. "However my counter part had a theory that I believe has merit."

"What theory?" Jim rubbed his hand over his closed eyes, Bones had somehow slipped a new pair of glasses into his pocket and he was very tempted to put them on, just to block out some of the dim light. "I just found out that our enemy, the one that destroyed everything we ever knew, might very well be invincible! What could make that any better?"

"I am not sure," Jim felt Spock's cool hand on his arm just above his new brace, "as you saw, much of the information is still encrypted. I have not had time yet to fully study it. What I have found, as well as further information on the Borg, seems to explore the possibility of using Red Matter as a substitute for Dilithium. The Red Matter would be much more effective then ever the highest grade crystals. Our fleet's power problems would be solved indefinitely."

"That would be good," Jim opened his eyes and smiled weakly, "I could really use a coffee."

Jim felt Spock's hand squeezed his arm gently. He could almost feel the warm sparks through his shirt.

"I trust you could think of many uses for the energy," Spock said calmly. Jim let himself gaze into Spock's warm chocolate eyes before he glanced down at Spock's hand.

"By the way Spock, earlier did you… never mind," Jim sat up and grinned sheepishly at his First Officer, "It's just something Uhura said. I'm sure she… Never mind. It was just a silly mistake."

"Indeed?" Spock's eyebrows rose making Jim laugh.

"Just give me a copy of the information and we can see who cracks the codes fastest."

"Certainly Captain, however I may have a slight advantage over you Jim." Spock said calmly as he helped Jim stand up from the low bunk.

"Oh really?" Jim asked rubbing his wrist idly.

"Much of the code is written in High Vulcan, which you do not speak," Spock said almost smugly, "and I do."

Jim grinned, "You've got me there. So how about we work on it together for now. I don't want to start a panic and Scotty would be devastated if found out there was a whole new energy source that he could not use."

"Agreed Captain," Spock stooped to pick up his PADD from where Jim had left it, "Shall I meet you in your quarters after beta shift?"

"It's a date," Jim grinned and led the way out onto the Bridge with his First Officer only a step behind.

*** Uhura's thoughts Extra***

Nyota Uhura sat listening to the chatter between decks as she waited for the Away Team to check in. They had already reported back a few times, mostly to tell the Captain that they were still live and well though they had gotten the power on and were scanning the computer for any relevant information. Spock hadn't called in personally, but that wasn't unusual. He generally saved all the important details for the Captain, not that he didn't trust her to report everything accurately, her friend just liked to see Kirk's face every chance he got.

Of course that couldn't have anything to do with the Vulcan being in love with their dear Captain. Uhura rolled her eyes. Those two were so obviously in love. At lest she thought Spock was and up until a bit ago she had thought Kirk was too, but then he had to go and make her second-guess herself. She had been so very sure that they had kissed. Damn it all.

On the other hand, Montgomery was a _very_ good kisser. Their first date, which had been delayed for several weeks because of damage to the ship, had gone far better that she had ever thought. It had gone so well that she had considered inviting the Scotsman to her bunk for a kiss and cuddle, but had ultimately decided against it. She was many things but a cold-blooded tease was not one of them, and something told her that if she let the gentleman engineer into her bed she would want a bit more from him than just a few kisses.

She was not going to do most than kiss and cuddle in her bunk, which she shared most nights with Ensign McLane, for two very good reasons. The first reason being that she couldn't kick McLane out, the poor girl would have nowhere else to go. The second reason was that she was not going to get naked in the middle of the over crowded First Officer's Quarters, which she shared with most of the Delta shift bridge crew. She could always move back into the Captain's Quarters, but she couldn't take Sulu and Chekov's nightly Russian/Japanese sex talk.

Uhura was pulled from her thoughts as the Away Team chimed in to report.

"Uhura here," she said as she flick off the other channels, "what have you got for me Away Team?"

"Greetings Lieutenant," Spock's voice drifted warmly through her earpiece, "The Away Team is ready to beam back. I would prefer to report our findings to the Captain personally."

"Acknowledged," Uhura grinned, she loved being right, "I will inform the Captain of your return. Dr. McCoy forced him to rest for a bit, but he should be awake again by now. McCoy has stopped hovering."

"Under stood, Spock out."

Uhura rolled her eyes at her friend's nearly eager tone. She had been watching the sparks flying between two men for years. If she was completely honest with herself she it was the chemistry between the two men that had made her kiss Spock the first time. She had let her blind hate of the then Cadet Kirk and her jealousy rule her head. She had been so infatuated with Spock that she had jumped to stake her claim without thinking. Then, of course, Spock and she had fallen apart almost instantly.

She watched as Spock and the Captain go off on their own. In an empty room. Where they could be completely alone. But of course Spock wouldn't want to push their injured Captain into anything. Still, she got her hopes up a little bit when Kirk's hair was a little ruffled when they reappeared.

* * *

Author's Rant:

First off NaNoWriMo went really well. I won and have a solid document to work with. Victory!

Other than that writing has been absolute crap. Logan was still in residence for much of December and when I finally managed to shoo him into a corner my computer broke again… This time it was the battery. What I think happened was the battery somehow mini-exploded and ended up all weird and round, which messed with the mouse pad. Anyway, whenever I was typing with my wrist resting on the edge of my computer, like I always do, the mouse would randomly jump around the screen, highlighting stuff that I would then accidently delete. Then I got sick. Nothing serious, just a bad cold, but it freed Logan from his corner. So yeah. Sorry for the super late update, but I'm not making any promises as to when the next update will be, because I don't want to jinx myself.


	17. Chapter 16

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 16

Jim woke slowly and arched his back as he rolled up onto his hands and knees. He half expected his back to hurt as his scars pulled, after all he wasn't used to sleeping on his stomach, but the pain never came. Instead he felt a pleasant stretch as his muscles flexed easily. It was strange, but it felt so nice and he was so warm and comfortable that he didn't care. He rolled his shoulders and half-fell into his side. The sheets slide silkily down to his hips and he felt the warm cloth pooling around his naked body as he lay down on his side.

None of the pain Jim was used to waking up to was there. None of his scars were pulling or aching. He sighed and rolled the rest of the way onto his back and still no pain, even as he rolled onto the deepest whip marks.

He was starting to wonder if Bones had drugged him again when he opened his eyes. The ceiling above him wasn't the same as his quarters on the _Enterprise_. He glanced around curiously. He wasn't sure, but he thought the room looked familiar somehow, though he was equally sure he hadn't been there before.

The walls were a soft cream with a dark wood border and the bed he was in was shades of blues and browns with light gold edged sheets. It was a beautiful room all around. It didn't seem like a hotel, not that there were any hotels anymore. There were small personal things around; a holo-base here, a discarded shoe there. Wherever he was, was some lucky son-of-a-bitch's home.

Jim sighed as he let his head fall back on the pillows. Nothing explained why his usual level of pain was suddenly absent.

Jim ran his hands through his hair as he glanced around again. It was an abnormally good feeling if a little strange. Almost dreamlike, but Jim never had dreams this clear and detailed.

Most of his dreams were either nightmares or nightmares... So he had nightmares. Or if he was very luck he might have a wet dream … and he was naked and a little horny…

Jim ran his hands down over his face before jerking them away suddenly. There was something very wrong with his hand. Jim held his hands in front of his face and turned them this way and that, but he couldn't see… There was nothing wrong with his hand, which was the problem. His left hand had five perfectly healthy fingers.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jim asked as he let his hands fall onto his bare chest.

Jim let his eyes close as he ran his fingers, his ten healthy fingers, down over his smooth chest to his sides. His left hand stopped over the soft smooth skin over his lower ribs where, years and year ago, a shot from a Laser rifle had nearly killed him.

There wasn't a sign of the deep scar.

He forced his right hand lower along his side just above his hip where the Borg implants had been removed leaving a large spider's web of deep scars across his side, down to his hip, across stomach, and around his lower back. The skin was smooth and unmarked everywhere he touched.

Jim sighed as his hands drifted slowly over his unmarked flesh. He wasn't sure what to make of all this. It was all very odd, it was sort of nice not being in pain for once, but at the same time he didn't like it. Still, the bed was warm and comfortable as he stretched out under the sheets.

"Where am I?" Jim asked the warm air.

"You are in my bed, Captain," a familiar low voice answered calmly.

"Spock?" Jim sat up suddenly and winced at the pain he expected to feel, but still there was none. Spock was standing a few feet from the side of the bed. "Where did you come from?"

"This is my mind, Jim," Spock said as he shifted to sit on the bed near Jim's hip.

"Really?" Jim shifted uncomfortably. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was naked and covered only by a thin sheet that had pooled around his hips. He pulled the sheet up and tucked it securely around his waist. "How did I get here? And why am I naked?"

"I do not know, Jim," Spock shifted to let Jim pull the sheet out from under him.

"Thanks," Jim grinned as he pulled the sheet into a pile over his lap. He was happy to have Spock there to talk to, but his friend's arrival had made him painfully conscious of his morning wood, which still had not subsided. "So this is a dream or something? Do you always dream of… what are you dreaming of anyway?"

Spock shifted and turned to face Jim more fully, "I was reviewing all the information we recovered from the _Jellyfish_ during my meditations prior to going to sleep."

"And that led you to dreaming about me naked in your bed?" Jim asked lightly. He almost wanted to fall back into the soft bedding. He was suddenly very relaxed and drowsy.

"It would seem so," Spock's cheeks were almost leaf green as he looked over Jim's naked torso. "It was not my intention to intrude."

"Hmm…" Jim blinked heavily. The room was getting dark and all the colors were blurring together. "That's nice… I think I'm going to…"

Jim felt himself falling back on the bed. Everything was warm and comfortable. All his pain was gone. He let his eyes close as he felt Spock's cool hand on his chest, above his heart, gently pushing him into the warm darkness.

"Sleep Jim."

* * *

Spock sat up feeling disoriented. He had just been dreaming. He rarely had dreams. He had dreamt more than the average, well disciplined, Vulcan child, but far less than human children. Still as he had grown older and had learned to control his emotions he had dreams less and less often.

"Hmm…"

Spock started and glanced around the room, most of the other Vulcans where sleeping though there were a few awake. Spock ignored the others in favor of gazing down at Jim, who was still sleeping peacefully.

He had told his Captain the truth. He had not meant to intrude into the younger male's mind. Spock pulled his hand away from where it must have brushed against Jim's as they slept.

They had spent the last week decoding any and all information from the _Jellyfish's_ computers, in what little spare time they both had. Much of the data was trivial with only the most important files having been stored in the Red Matter Containment computer. However, Doctor McCoy had forbidden them use of the Captain's bed after Jim had dropped several PADDs on the sleeping doctor's head. Rather than incur the Doctor's wrath again they had decided to work in Spock's quarters instead.

That had led to Jim falling asleep on Spock's bed. Previously Jim had woken before Spock felt the need to sleep. However, Spock glanced down at his sleeping Captain. It would have been illogical to wake the young human when they had spent many nights together throughout Jim's recovery. Unfortunately, in his sleep Spock could not stop himself from reaching out to the younger male.

Spock shook his head as he stared down at his sleeping Captain.

"What is bothering you, sa'fu-il?" T'Pau asked. Spock glanced at his Grandmother, who had meditated with him before he had gone to sleep, but.

"I…" Spock glanced down at Jim's sleeping face, which was peaceful in a way that Jim never was when awake. Spock slipped into High Vulcan as he confessed, "_I find myself drawn to the Captain. I find keeping my desires in check somewhat difficult_."

T'Pau nodded, "Thee have considered courting him?"

"Yes, however," Spock glanced briefly at the far corner.

T'Pau understood instantly.

The last pair to attempt to form a marital bond, well the surviving member, resided near the wall. The female, Spock regretfully could not remember her name, had died of shock when their bond shattered. The male, Stonn one of Spock's distant relative, had collapsed into his own mind. He was little more than a vegetable now.

Spock shuttered inwardly at the idea of the same happening to Jim.

"_You fear for the Captain's well being_?" T'Pau asked calmly in High Vulcan.

"_Of course_," Spock glanced down at Jim's sleeping face, "_I would be remiss in my duty if I allowed harm to come to the Captain_."

"_You do not fear for him as your Captain sa'fu-il_," T'Pau insisted sharply, "_You fear for he who is your __T'hy'la."_

Spock blinked. He had not told her of his suspicions that his elder self had been bonded with his Jim. "_How do you know that?"_

T'Pau tapped the PADDs that were still stacked beside the make shift table, "_Your shields were weak during our meditations. It was wrong of me to pry. However, if it is at all possible that you are T'hy'la then it is important to explore such an important link."_

Spock looked down at his Jim and allowed himself to study the younger male. Jim's face was peaceful though still thin and pale. The Captain had regained most of his strength from before his accident. Jim's injured hand was thrown out as if he was reaching for something just out of his grasp. Spock was suddenly tempted to stroke the hollows under Jim's eyes and along his cheekbones.

The conversation he had with Nyota a few days previously.

'I saw you two kissing earlier,' Nyota had said nonchalantly, 'but when I asked the Captain he said you weren't dating. Now my question is: why aren't you romancing our dear Captain?'

Spock nodded as he turned back to T'Pau, "I will meditate on that."

Just before T'Pau could argue farther, Jim woke up with a low moan.

"Spock?" Jim's voice was sleep roughened as the human sat up and glanced around, "I fell asleep on you again? Sorry about that."

"Do not be concerned, Jim," Spock said as he turned to his sleepy- eyed Captain, "I would have woken you if it became necessary."

"Still," Jim smiled drowsily making Spock's heart flutter in his side, "I keep stealing your bed. Sorry. Anyway, I just had this really strange dream."

"Indeed Captain?" Spock fought to keep a blush from creeping up his ears.

"Yeah," Jim rubbed his eyes with one hand before picking up his PADD and flicking it on, "I was dreaming of Vulcan, mostly about the way it looked after when we went back for the memorial…"

Spock watched as Jim work over his PADD. He did not acknowledge the disappointment that spread through him at the thought of Jim not remembering the dream they had shared; which was a completely illogical as he did not want Jim to remember his intuition into the human's privacy.

"And it gave me this idea," Jim continued entirely unaware of Spock's temporary distraction. "Do you remember how there were holes in debris that we could not account for at the time?"

Spock glanced at T'Pau who had gone to bed and was ignoring them. "I do. Scavengers were blamed though there was no proof of any ships entering the area."

"Right," Jim grinned at him, "like always. Anyway, I think I might have a different theory. Yes! See!"

Jim pushed his PADD into Spock's hands. Their fingers brushed, sending a currant if excitement up Spock's arm. Spock nodded as he turned the PADD and read.

"Wormholes? Interesting," Spock read over Jim's new theory twice before transferring it to his own PADD so he could compare the data later.

"Yeah," Jim stretched happily, "You see if we add in the effect of wormholes than all the problems with the Red Matter start to make sense. Not that it help us at all. We still won't be able to use the Red Matter a fuel without running the risk of a micro-black hole ripping a chunk out of the ship. On the other hand, proving that the Red Matter creates both black holes and wormholes will take some killer math, or a crazy certain-death type experiment, which I am not willing to do. I think we should bring Scotty and Chekov in on this. Those two would probably love a challenge."

"I agree." Spock made to hand Jim his PADD back, but stopped as the younger male stood and stretched. Spock watched as Jim's shirt slide up to show his scarred. Jim's face from his dream drifted behind his eyes. The younger male had seemed upset by his lack of scars. They had rarely spoken of Jim's old wounds. The human always seemed loath to speak of them. Spock had thought that Jim would be happy to be rid of them even if only for a short time. The fact that it had disturbed Jim confused him greatly. He suddenly wished that he could simple ask Jim about his scars without upsetting him.

"I should go," Jim said drawing Spock's eyes away from the lines of scars crossing the younger males flesh, "Bones will be missing me."

"That would be a waste of time, Captain," Spock said with forced calm. He did not want Jim to leave. "Alpha shift starts in three point nine hours. It would take you between half an hour to an hour to arrive at your quarters, by which time you will be unlikely to reach a truly restful level of sleep before Dr. McCoy wakes early for his shift. Furthermore, you are most welcome here."

Jim blinked at him before sitting down with a wince and checking the time for himself, "Shit you're right."

Spock raised his eyebrows, "Of course."

Jim laughed as he set his PADD back down, "Of course. Are you sure you don't mind my stealing your bed again? Don't you need to sleep?"

"I have," Spock said as he arranged his pillow, "though another hour of rest would be welcome."

"So," Spock looked up to see Jim blushing slightly, "we're going to share?"

"Yes," Spock shifted to give Jim a little more space, "unless the idea makes you uncomfortable."

"No, no," Jim shifted, blushing more brightly as he lay down on one side of the thin bed, "This is fine. It's fine."

Spock nodded silently before stretching out on his side of the bed. He could feel Jim twitching slightly as nervous energy flickered across the space between them.

'Why aren't you romancing our dear Captain?' Nyota's words shimmered through his mind like starlight. 'You both deserve to be happy.'

"Jim?"

"Yeah?" Spock felt Jim's warmth shift closer as he rolled to face Spock.

"May I ask a favor of you," Spock turned so he could see Jim's face in the dim low power lights.

"Sure. If it is anything I can do, I will." Jim's smile flashed across the tiny gap between them.

"Would you give my the great honor of allowing me to court you?"


	18. Chapter 17

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

Chapter warning/promise: There is male/male kissing in this one. If you don't like that then how on earth did you get this far into this story? Do tell me I would like to know.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 17

Jim blinked. The space between their pillows suddenly seemed infinitesimal.

"Sorry, _What_?" Jim asked as his heart gave a sharp panicked splutter before skipping to warp. Spock had not asked him out. Stuff like that just didn't happen! Maybe he had fallen asleep again and this was just another dream, thought this time he was still fully dressed.

"I asked if you would consider allowing me to court you," Spock said without even the hint of a smile around his eyes.

"That's what I thought you said but," Jim trailed off, suddenly very aware of the dozens of Vulcans sleeping around them. He was sweltering under Spock's gaze, and the blanket that was completely unnecessary in the warm Vulcan quarters.

"What do you mean? Are you asking me out on a date?" Jim felt like he was twelve years old again and unsure of what to say or where to look. He was tempted to listen to the voice in the back of his head that was screaming at him to just say yes and to hell with the consequences. But no, he couldn't jump blindly into a whatever-the-hell Spock was asking. He needed Spock's friendship and he was not going to rick it over his own stupid crush, even if it seemed like Spock was asking what Jim hoped he was asking.

"No, Jim," Spock shook his head, his voice smooth, deep, and dark as his hair which was tumbled over the pillow, "I wish to court you, if you would give me permission to do so."

Jim closed his eyes and forced myself to take a slow breath before looking at Spock again, "What's the difference?"

"Courting, as far as Vulcans are concerned, is when one in a pair is sure of the success of a match and wishes to prove themselves to the other,"Spock's eyes were dark but oddly calm as Jim searched their chocolate depths. He wondered how long Spock had been thinking about this.

"So you want to prove to me that you could be a good boyfriend?" Jim asked incredulously.

"I wish to prove that I can and will be a good mate, in particular a good mate for you," Jim watched as the tip of Spock's ear, the one not pressed into the pillow, turned green as he blushed, "You have already proven, beyond a shadow of doubt, that you would make a exceptional mate. I merely wish to prove that I could be an satisfactory mate as well."

"I did what?" Jim raised his eyebrows at Spock incredulity, which made the older male blush more. "No, you know never mind, I…" Jim shook his head and rolled onto his back before trying to sit up and moaning as his scars screamed at the sudden movement.

"Jim!"

"I'm fine!" Jim hissed as he fell back into the bedding, closing his eyes against the prick of frustrated tears, "just a cramp. Damn it, I can't even sit up to think without…"

Suddenly, a cool hand rubbed over his stomach, under his shirt, and over his screaming scars calming them with sparks of gorgeous pleasure. As the pain dimmed Jim forced himself to relax into the overly warm bedding. Before long the pain had faded to the usual background ache.

Without the pain Jim had no excuse not to look back at Spock, who was still rubbing the bare skin of his side slowly. He could feel Vulcan's cool warmth along the full length of his side. Jim took a slow breath and forced himself to turn his face back to Spock's and opened his eyes.

"Sorry about that Spock," Jim smiled half-heartedly; his mind was racing form one question to the next randomly. When had Spock decided to do this? Why now? "I'm trying to understand, but this is a little sudden. When? No wait. How did I prove that I would make 'an exceptional' mate? And When? And what does that mean to you?"

Spock's hand pressed down on Jim's side soothingly, "You are a calm and dedicated captain as well as a intelligent and supportive friend. Your loyalty to both your work and your relationships is very admirable. You are highly intelligent, deeply independent, yet emotionally giving. You are a remarkable being with many highly desirable qualities which you have proven often over the passed five years."

Jim laughed softly, "I don't know about all that, but that's beside the point I suppose." Jim blushed as Spock's hand slide a little low on his hip, brushing under the edge of his pants, before moving higher over his side again. "What would your courting entail?"

"I would endeavor to aid your mental and physical wellbeing in all ways in which I am capable." Spock said promptly, as if it were obvious. Maybe to a Vulcan it was, but it made Jim smile as he thought what that probably meant.

"So basically you would pester me to eat, sleep, and take brakes from work to play chess and relax?" Jim asked quietly as his smile turned into a fiendish grin even Bones would have been proud of, "I hate to tell you this, Spock, but you already do that."

Spock nodded as his hand rubbed slowly over Jim's scarred side, "Indeed. However, there are specific duties or perhaps honors would be a closer translation, the term in High Vulcan refers to both in equal measure, that I could provide for you, as your mate, which I do not, cannot, perform as your friend if you agreed. I must also say that it would be well within you rights to refuse me permission to perform certain acts if they proved distasteful to you, while still allowing me to perform other more agreeable tasks."

He is not talking about sex, Jim scolded himself sharply, so just put that right out of your dirty little mind. Your sexy Vulcan First Officer is not offering to… Jim didn't let himself finish that thought since he did not need to get hard in the middle of a potentially life-changing conversation; even if Spock was more or less petting him as he positively did _not_ hint at fucking Jim into next week.

"I could demonstrate if you like," Spock's voice deepened to a purr, "It might may benefit you in making an informed decision."

"Sure," Jim said lightly. Despite his earlier fantasies Jim didn't expect more that a soft cuddle and maybe a bit more of the slow petting over his side, which felt so very good. To be fair he was and always up for a little light petting.

Jim relaxed as Spock's hand slid over his ribs in slow circles. He could feel Spock's cool body pressed along his side from his shoulder to his hip. Jim let himself relax into the feeling for a few minutes before trying to shift away. He wanted to give Spock a little more room; after all he didn't want to over do it, but Spock had another idea.

Just as Jim started to move away Spock growled and half rolled so he was above Jim, his knees pressing on either side of Jim's thighs, one hand holding him up, while the other rubbed along Jim's side. It all happened in the space of a heartbeat; fast enough to make Jim's head spin.

Suddenly Jim's blanket was replaced by lean cool Vulcan flesh.

"I believe I was about to give a demonstration indicating the benefits of having me for your mate, James," Spock leaned down to breath along Jim's neck. "If you would oblige me. I like to take my time."

"Uhm? Yeah. Sure," Jim stammered his voice cracking as Spock's hand slid up his chest, brushing teasingly around his nipple, not quite touching, before slipping up and cupping his chin and gently holding him in place.

"Good," Spock said as he dipped closer.

Jim couldn't help but shudder as Spock's lips brushed along his cheekbone to his ear and back.

Jim found himself grabbing at Spock's hips to keep him from moving away. Not that he could compete with Vulcan strength, but he had to do something and the idea of Spock leaving, of Spock moving back to his side of the tiny bed, was horrible to the point of being physically painful.

"I have no intention of leaving you, Jim," Spock's words brushed over Jim's skin like a caress, "as it happens that is the very opposite of what I wish to do. I wish to court you so that I may be closer to you, do more for you, and have more from you than is acceptable as friends. I do not wish to rush you and so I will not press you to answer tonight, however I would very much like to see you eyes at this time."

Jim opened his eyes and blinked. He couldn't remember when he had closed them, but when they opened Spock was so close their noses were nearly touching. He felt Spock's nose brush his. Something about the soft loving gesture kicked Jim's mind back on. He was James T. Kirk Starship Captain damn it! There was no way in Hell he was going get this close to Spock's mouth and not kiss it. He had wanted to taste Spock for five _years_; he was not going to settle for butterfly kisses.

"Get the hell down here you," Jim pulled himself up until their lips met.

Spock's lips were cool, soft, and sent cascades of sparks rippling through him leaving embers of raw passion in their wake. Jim moaned and arched closer to press as much of his body to Spock's as he could. He licked over the seam of Spock's tea bitter lips as he pulled the Vulcan's lean hips down to brush his hardened length against.

"Fascinating," Spock purred, literally purred, as he pulled away from Jim's mouth, "your body is more sensitive then I had anticipated."

"Shut up and let me kiss you," Jim grumbled as he tried to recapture Spock's lips, but Spock wasn't letting him. The Vulcan had one hand on Jim's chest, under his shirt, which he was using to push Jim into the bed.

"As enjoyable as that would be, I am afraid we do not have sufficient time to continue to our mutual satisfaction without being late for Alpha shift. This is also not the ideal place for engaging in intercourse."

Jim felt himself blushing as he glanced around. Most of the Vulcans were still sleeping, but there were groups of early risers starting to move around.

"Damn it, you're right," Jim sighed. He was so hard it was painful, but there was no hope of getting off now. "How long before shift starts?"

"One point seven hours, Captain," Spock purred as he leaned down to nuzzle under Jim's ear, "You will have adequate time to eat and wash before we will need to leave for the bridge."

"Right, good. Are you purring?" Jim could feel the vibrations through the hand planted on his chest.

"Indeed," Spock nuzzled Jim's neck one more time before sitting up and looking down at him, "do you dislike it?"

"No," Jim gazed up at Spock, who was still straddling his thighs. His usually smooth hair was mussed with sleep. It was the single sexiest sight Jim had ever seen, "no, I like it. It's just I think I heard it somewhere before…"

Jim watched as a deep green spread over Spock's cheeks, making him look freshly fucked and making Jim relies that he had been wrong. This was by far the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

"It is possible, indeed likely, that you may have heard me purring a number of times in the last few months." Spock moved off Jim's lap and over to his side of the small bed.

"Really?" Jim missed Spock's cool body instantly, "I don't remember…"

Except he did remember hearing, during his recovery, a purring unlike anything he had ever heard. He had assumed that the pain drugs were making him hallucinate, Bones had even told him that would happen, but even before his injury he remembered an odd dream where the only sound had been that purring.

"Indeed," Spock stood, still blushing slightly, and straitened his shirt before glancing down at where Jim was still sprawled out under the blankets, "I am going to obtain our meals, if you would like you may use this time to wash… you are… a little mussed, Captain."

Jim looked down at himself as Spock hurried off in the direction of the replicators. He was more that a little mussed he was downright disheveled. His shirt was up around his armpits exposing his scarred sides and chest and the blanket had slid down to expose the prominent bulge of his erection where it was fighting with his pants. He must at lest as horny as he felt, no wonder Spock had been a little lost for words. Jim tried not to think of how much of a fool he would look like if he ever saw Spock looking this tousled. Then he tried not to think of what Spock would look like if he were this tousled. He should be trying to get rid of his hard on after all, not make it worse.

With a groan Jim stood up, ignoring the twinges of pain from his scars, and started making his way over to the bathroom for a quick sonic before Spock got back with breakfast. So far this being courted thing was far better than anything he had ever hoped for.

* * *

A.N.: Sorry for the slow update… I think I should just admit to myself and to you that I'm just a slow writer. Sorry. But don't worry; I will never abandon my story. I might take brakes, but will never abandon.

And as a special thanks to everyone who has left reviews I offer a portrait of myself. It may not seem like it but your reviews really help push Logan into his corner, Thank you.

(\(\

( -,-)

c((') (')

BunnyButton


	19. Chapter 18

This is my first Fan Fiction. It has cursing, violence, and male/male relationships. If you do not like any of those things than please do not read it.

I do not own Star Trek and make no money from this. I'm just playing.

* * *

Chapter 18

Jim moaned and closed his eyes to distract himself from the intense pain that ran from his legs up his spine, but it didn't help. He could feel the cool strength of Spock's hands as they held him against the wall, but concentrating on that didn't help either.

"This will be easier if you endeavor to relax, Jim," Spock purred. "Our activities have already over taxed your muscles. I do not wish to compound the problem by stressing them further."

Jim forced his eyes open and glared down at his first officer. Spock was on one knee at his feet with one hand pressing Jim's hip against the wall while the other held Jim's right leg up over the Half-Vulcan's shoulder, supporting most of Jim's weight with a hand on Jim's ass. It was the sexiest thing Jim had seen to date. The only thing that would have made it better is if they had been naked.

"I'm not interrupting something am I?"

Jim's gaze shot up at the sound of Bones' dry tone. The older man was standing in the doorway to their 'private' workout room grinning evilly. A few people in the bunks along the walls had poked their heads around their privacy screens to glare at Spock and Jim when they started working out, but none seemed foolish enough to do the same to Bones, even though the older human had nearly yelled across the small room.

"Shut up and help me," Jim grumbled as he fought down a blush. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that from where Bones was standing he couldn't see…

"Only if I'm not going to get an eyeful," Bones drawled. "I had enough of that a the Academy, thanks."

"For the love of…" Jim groaned, "I sprained a muscle when Spock and I were sparring so just get over here and help me!"

Bones seemed to realize that Jim was actually in pain and rushed across the room, nearly tripping over one of the gym's sparring mats, and pulling out his medical tricorder.

"Damn," Bones grumbled as he pocked and prodded at Jim's leg, "Jim I would like to go a week without having to patch you up."

Jim hissed as pain spiked up his leg branching into a lightning bolt as it hit scars.

"Jim," Spock purred as he nudged his face into the inside of Jim's thigh. With the touch Jim felt the familiar electric buzz chasing the pain up his body and effectively replacing it with pleasure. "Please relax."

Jim nodded then forced himself to take slow deep breaths. This would not be a good time to get hard; even if his now (boyfriend? lover?) was between his legs rubbing his face into Jim's sore flesh. That thought was not helpful.

"What the Hell did you do?" Bones asked as he lifted Jim's leg off Spock's shoulder, jolting it and sending a fresh wave of pain through him, which had the somewhat luck effect of making an erection impossible.

"You do know the meaning of gentle right?" Jim hissed.

"It's the middle of Delta shift, when we should all be sleeping," Bones said with a glare, which Jim tried and failed to ignore, "and I get a comm. from Spock that you are hurt and I need to get to the deck 24 gym at once! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"

Jim sighed rolling his eyes dramatically, "Yeah, alright. We were sparing. Spock nearly landed a blow, but I rolled out of the way. Somewhere between hitting the ground and standing up something in my leg popped and, yeah. It really hurts…"

"No? Really? I wonder why that is? Oh, what! It's because you're an idiot." Jim watched as Bones ran his tricorder over his leg. "You tore your Hamstring."

"So ice?" Jim asked with a wince as the rip made itself felt.

"No you idiot," Bones growled, "You ice it if you pull your hamstring. You tore yours, in HALF! I'll need to wrap it until we can get you to Med. Bay. Come on Spock, help me get his pants off."

Jim felt his face heat up at the idea of Spock, who was still kneeling between his legs, trying to take his pants off with his teeth.

"How about I take off my own pants and you two just stand there, not watching?" Jim asked as casually as he could.

Bones just glared while Spock's hands seemed to grow tighter, lifting Jim completely off his feet, "No, Jim. You will allow us you help. I will not allow you to harm yourself more."

One glance into Spock's eyes told him all Jim need to know about how strongly Spock felt about this.

"There also seems to be some straining in a couple of your quadriceps…" Bones muttered, mostly to himself it seemed, as he untied Jim's sweatpants and pulled them down, "will need to… shit, no deep tissue regenerator on this floor."

Bones continued to grumble to himself as he pushed and pulled at Jim's pants off. The doctor was too absorbed in his work that he didn't notice Spock lifting and shifting Jim around like he was a light as a doll. Between the two of them Jim was stripped down to his black boxer-briefs in seconds.

"You have lost too much weight, Jim," Bones grumbled as he pressed a hypo spray into the Captain's lean thigh. "You're all scars and bones. Put on a few more pounds before you try sparing again, okay?"

"No can do Bones," Jim said cheerfully as the pain in his leg evaporated. "The Tellarites are starting to make a nuisance of themselves, mostly by interrupting the Vulcans when they are doing their group meditation thing, but there have also been rumors of them stealing and hording rations. I need to go talk to, and/or beat their snouts in, until they understand that they can't do that.

"On top of that he Klingons have been asking to see me," Jim sighed and rubbed one hand over his eyes, "you know that I can't look weak in front of the Klingons. They would lose respect for me and that would just cause chaos."

"So you decided to rip your leg to Hell?" Bones asked scathingly as he pressed one last hypo spray into Jim's leg. "Have you two been working out like this every night this passed week?"

"Yeah," Jim watched as Bones pulled out a roll of bandages and started wrapping them a bit too tightly around his leg from knee to hip. "I need to get back into fighting shape as quickly as possible. Preferably before the Tellarites start a food riot or the Klingons storm the bridge."

"None the less," Bones said as he tied the bandages off tight enough that you would think the cloth had wronged him in a former life. "You have to take it slowly. You were really sick Jim. I don't think you really understand how sick you were. You have not been that sick since…"

Bones trailed off, but Jim understood. The only time Jim had ever been closer to death he had Borg implants sticking out of his side.

"So Med. Bay?" Jim asked trying to distract both Bones and Spock from the past and Jim's mostly naked legs respectively.

"Right," Bones stood up and brushed off his hands briskly. "Spock? If you would kindly carry our dear Captain?"

"Certainly."

"NO!" Jim shouted as Spock lifted him off the ground, "I can walk!"

"That is unacceptable, Jim," Spock purred brightly as he shifted Jim until Jim was being held like a blushing bride. "You might compound your injuries."

Jim glared from Spock to Bones, but Bones was already walking out into the hall and Spock was refusing to meet Jim's eye.

It was a quick trip though the thankfully empty halls. Jim didn't think he could have taken being seen, as his first officer was carrying him like a baby. Of course that halls weren't completely empty, that was near impossible, they only passed a few older 'Bees' trending the wall plants. At lest they had let him put his pants back on before they left the gym.

"Just set him down anywhere," Bones said as he led them into Med. Bay One. Jim saw him waved at the other doctors to tell them that they wouldn't be needed.

"I'm not baggage you know," Jim grumbled as Spock lightly set him on down a Biobed.

Bones hummed noncommittally as he pulled a regenerator out of a drawer, "Just sit still and let me patch this up."

"Do I even want to know how much power you are planning on using?" Jim asked as he watched the doctor fiddle with the regenerator's settings.

"Relax Jim," Bones said as he ran the regenerator over Jim's injured leg, "this is on the lowest setting. I'm only going to reattach your hamstring, this is easier than surgery, and then you'll have to heal on your own. There."

Bones checked over Jim's leg with his tricorder. "There. You are going to need to keep this wrapped for a week or two and you will have to use cold compresses to ice it a few times a day during that time."

"Is that all?" Jim asked darkly. He had a feeling that Bones wasn't going to go that easy on him.

"You will also have to baby that leg a bit," Bones said. "No running, jumping, sparring, or pushing yourself in any way."

"Great, just great," Jim sighed, "Fine. I'll take it easy."

"Good," Bones yawned, "now lest get back to our quarters. It's late…"

Spock stopped Jim from hopping down from the Biobed instead lifting him and setting him down lightly on the floor.

"Thanks Spock," Jim smiled. His leg was still hurting, but the pain was much less than that had been. Jim felt Spock's hands linger on his sides.

"It is my pleaser, Jim," Spock purred. "Would you like to spend the night in my quarters?"

"Not a chance Spock," Bones cut in sharply, "Jojo has been missing her Uncle Jimmy. He's coming back with me."

Bones grabbed hold of Jim's arm and pulled it over his shoulder, supporting some of Jim's weight and towing him towards the door.

"You are going to come back with me and spend some quality family time with Jojo and me."

Jim smiled and glanced back at Spock. The Vulcan was standing a little forlornly beside the Biobed.

"Come on Spock," Jim held out his free hand, which happened to be sans-pinky, "You can walk with us part of the way."

"It would be my honor to walk with you, Jim," Spock nodded and stepped forward to brush his fingers over Jim's in a soft kiss, which sent a thrill of pleasure up Jim's arm.

Jim smiled, pulling Spock a little closer, and push his own love back up at the Vulcan. He and Spock had been spending every night together since the Vulcan had asked for permission to court him. Most of the time was either on the bridge or working on reports, but they had still had time to play several games of chess as well as spar regularly. To top it all off Jim had slept over in Spock's bed every night, though they had not gone passed kissing.

Despite the lack of sex, Jim had enjoyed himself more in the last week then he had in years. They had cuddled and kissed, but in spite of his reputation Jim wasn't an exhibitionist, at lest not with people he really cared about, and hadn't been ably to over look the room full of Vulcans…

Jim was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of his communicator going off loudly. He tried to get to it but Bones would not let go of his arm so he had to use his left hand to reach across and grab the communicator awkward off his belt and flipped it open.

"Kirk here."

"Captain," it was one of the ensigns from the Delta bridge crew, "there is a signal from the _Essex_. They are sending out a distress signal, Sir."

"I'm on my way," Jim said. "Well, you heard them! To the Bridge!"

Bones sighed, but let go of Jim's arm, "I had better get back to Medical Bay."

"Good idea Bones," Jim nodded, "You should probably get a few teams together. Might come in handy."

"God I hope you're wrong Jim," Bones said as he started back down the hall.

"Me too. Come on Spock," Jim turned down the hall, but he only took a few steps before his leg ached. The pain shot up his leg, but he ignored it in favor of rushing to the nearest turbo-lift, Spock following close behind.

The Bridge was quiet when they arrived; most of the Delta shift crew was working silently while the others were restlessly monitoring their stations.

"Report Mr. Niles," Kirk called as he walked over to his chair just as Mr. Niles, a young survivor from the _Nova_ disaster.

The young Lieutenant Commander stood and saluted sharply, "Captain. We have just reserved a general distress signal from the _Essex_."

"Any sign of them on the scanners?" Jim glanced at the main viewer, but there was no sign of the smaller ship. "Have you had contact from the _T'Met_?"

"No on both counts, Captain," Niles said, "We have hailed them, but the signal might be blocked by an asteroid, though we have nearly reacted the center of the field, Sir."

Jim nodded absently as he watched Spock take over at the science station. They had been traveling through the deep space asteroid field, a remnant of some long dead solar system, for the pass few days.

"How close are we to the rendezvous point," Kirk asked, they had agreed to meet up with the _T'Met_ and the _Jellyfish_, as well as the rest of the fleet around a small planetoid near the center of the asteroid field.

"Less then an hour, Captain," the navigator, a young ensign, called.

"Good," Jim said absently, "and how long until Alpha shift?"

"Six point seven three hours, Captain," Spock replied quickly. "My apologies, Sir, I should have informed you of the time earlier."

"That's fine Spock, really." Kirk waved the older man off. "Don't worry about that right now. For now we need to try to reestablish contact with both the _Jellyfish_ and the _T'Met_. They need to know about the _Essex_ if they don't already."

Whatever Spock was going to say was lost in the collective gasp of from the Bridge crew. The _Enterprise_ had circled around an asteroid revealing the horrific sight of the _Essex_ shattered and broken.

The smaller ship was drifting listlessly among the thousands of shattered planetoid fragments that marked all that was left of the rendezvous point.

* * *

AN: Oh my… I'm so sorry about the huge gap in updates.

Bunny Reason: A fox got into my warren and there has been chaos for weeks as I tried to get all my plot bunnies back safe and sound.

Human Reason: My grandmother fell and has been in and out of the hospital for weeks. She is very old and frail and we have been worried that this accident would be the end. Luckily, she has recovered enough to go home, with 24-hour care, but yeah… I like my bunny reason better…


End file.
